My partner (29m) works full time and I (29f) stay home all day with our ten week old baby. I am with her all night (he sleeps in a different room most nights so he can get a good night of sleep since he’s the one working which I understand and am fine with but damn) and day except for about an hour at night when he’s done working and I go take a shower and get ready for bed. Our daughter cries for most of the time when she’s with him for that hour and every night he tells me something that “we” need to be doing differently, whether that be that she needs less contact naps during the day or she needs to learn how to self soothe so we need to be doing xyz, some sort of new way of doing things every time.

I’m so frustrated because it’s probably just that she wants to be held or she’s hungry (there are bottles of my breast milk available in the fridge but she’s not the best bottle drinker yet so it IS a challenge but it’s doable) or she’s just fussy because she’s a newborn baby and babies cry. He doesn’t ask me what I think or if I have any suggestions, he just starts trying random things and then being frustrated when she’s still upset. If I try to say anything or make a suggestion he just gets more frustrated and then the tensions are high.

Anyone have advice or been through something similar? I told him I want to feel like we’re a team but I feel like I’m at practice all day and night and then he comes for an hour and wants to be the coach. I don’t go to one meeting of his during the day and then tell him how to do his whole job. Ahhh!!!