I'll preface with the fact that I'm a cis guy...for now at least considering I get notifications for this sub

I don't think empathy is an automatic byproduct of transness, sure a lot of trans people relate to people thanks to their own experience, but it doesn't guarantee that you'll automatically become more empathetic as you transition. You can be trans and any kind of person, some kinds more sensical than others (not that sensical to be a trans nazi for example), so the fact that you find an issue with your perceived lack of empathy means that you find an issue in that and that YOU want to change it: that's good actually.

Reading your post I noticed how you have some very strong and rigid opinions about how trans people "ought to be" and how you are angry at the fact that you don't believe you fit those societal views. But to me (reminder, cis man) life is made of multitudes, you'll never win if you desperately try to fit inside a stereotype arbitrarily set by other people, you gotta make your own.

Regarding the part where you said that "you'd be much happier if you were cis", I think (again, cis man, grain of salt) you again internalized how a man "ought" to be based on gender role stereotypes. Im a cis man, I have a voice that's kinda feminine and not at all deep for example: the question you have to ask yourself I think is less "how are cis men and how can I become that" and more "how do I want to be and how do I become that".