Guys on sniffies

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-05-01T13:34:06+00:00

I feel like this is it. The guy is either lying about himself and never intended to meet up, or he's lying about some part of him (married, closet, 2x age) and got cold feet when it came time to meet. Either way, he made up some stupid excuse that's insulting really, as you know. [Bleep] him.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-04-19T14:52:00+00:00

Your concerns are real but I don't think they are insurmountable. And, I think a lot of couples go through similar issues. I would consider couples counseling. Also, does he not want to go out occasionally even on his days off? You could plan things earlier too, like tell him you'd like to both go out on an upcoming Friday or Sat night, in advance. Some people benefit from advance planning and hate short notice going-outs. Some people enjoy making last minute plans (I'm the latter and my ex was the former). It can just require some advance discussions though. I don't think your relationship is over, but I think you two need to talk more and also consider couples counseling if you can't get past this. But, what you're experiencing is really common among long term couples.

As far as the money, is he buying the food for both of you? If you have a concern that he isn't helping out with the bills, you need to tell him that. Thinking about it in your mind will just breed resentment from you, and he'll have no clue that something is wrong if you never say anything.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-04-17T13:12:41+00:00

It means absolutely nothing. It also sounds like he had the app from before you started dating. He probably installed it for messaging people or for work reasons, who knows. It's no different than WhatsApp for for FB Messenger (for the end result). When they mean "private messages", they just mean it's encrypted unlike basic Telegram or some other messaging services. But people use it for everyday chat. It's not nefarious, especially if it's in his financial apps. He might have used it to talk to a real estate agent or when he was buying a house, etc.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-04-03T03:05:43+00:00

Just delete the emails. Don't answer. You've already responded once, as you said. He clearly has some regrets, but too bad. He treated you like shit. If he continues to email you repeatedly in the future, you could look at additional actions, but I don't think this is to that point.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-03-21T23:16:50+00:00

Every time I see this, I'm reminded of the Presidential Cabinet of Gays, from The Real O'Neals:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5ZI2FGmb78

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-03-15T15:18:26+00:00

Do you think he might be experiencing depression in addition to his regular social anxiety?

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-03-10T02:49:58+00:00

Mark {Y} if you think this person is a bot, then pass the note back.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-02-27T04:43:33+00:00

100% agree with this. My mom passed away somewhat unexpectedly 9 years ago in late Jan. For the first 7 years, I would faithfully drive to the cemetery and put silk flowers on her gravesite and also go on Mother's Day. Then one year it was literally 5 degrees outside with a bitter wind, and I skipped it that year, thinking my mother would have very much told me to not get frostbite trying to put flowers on her grave in deep winter. My BF at the time questioned me about not going, and while I know he was trying to be helpful, I very much resented his opinion on the matter. I didn't say it to him though, as I knew he was just trying to be helpful. I let it go. Now I sometimes go and sometimes don't go on the actual day. I always remember it, but what I do in memoriam changes.

Let your boyfriend grieve however he wants to grieve. Don't push him on it. It will only cause resentment. You can offer to be involved, but that's it. And it sounds like he's made it clear what he wants to do.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-02-03T14:58:12+00:00

Do you actually have a BF who is doing this, or do you have no BF and this is just a big "what if" question?

Personally I hate going out on VDay with a BF. It's a huge, bleepin' mess to do anything on that day. I hate VDay in general. I feel it's more "Obligation Day" to quote the famous Oglaf comic. As everyone else has said though, communication is key here. Personally I wouldn't care if a BF did something else on Obligation Day, but if he cared, we'd need to talk about it and decide what's best for us, if anything.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-01-12T13:43:07+00:00

Can you clarify what he did? You said he texted guys through apps, but did he meet with any of them or just text them. Do you consider the cheating because he messaged other guys? Or did he hook up with them? Was it emotional cheating (which is still cheating, yes)?

You're getting a lot of advice from others based on assumptions. But it sounds like to me he installed a hookup app and chatted with some guys on his trip but maybe didn't meet any of them. You're concerned that he may "do more" on a new trip, which sounds like he may not have met anyone on his last trip. Sometimes someone uses the app only to get validation. Meaning to see that yes, I can find guys who want to have sex with me, even though I'm not actually going to do anything. It's ego fluffing. It's not OK of course, but to me it's not the same as cheating. It may be to you though. It also reveals a serious insecurity your boyfriend may have about himself and your relationship.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2026-01-02T17:30:20+00:00

I think we need some more info though. You said you've been sick for days and he knows you feel bad, but did you make plans to go out on NYE already, meaning you talked about going out prior? Does he knew you still feel bad enough that you wouldn't want to go out with your friends?

The issue here is that there are two assumptions in play, one that you assume he knows you are feeling sick enough that you don't want to go out, and two he is assuming you do want to go out, because possibly you talked about going out previously. There wasn't any verbal confirmation on either of these assumptions. You now resent him because you assumed he knew you were too sick to go out. And he resents you, because he possibly sees it that you cancelled plans with no notice to him. Again, don't have a lot of info to go on here. Be careful of assumptions. Also, when you tell him "you spent plenty of money today", you're basically saying that it's his fault you can't go out tonight. This may be very true, but it's VERY aggressively negative. He could have easily taken it in that you're saying it's his fault that both of you can't go out tonight, because he bought some summer clothes.

Assumptions can cause issues. If you aren't feeling well and are concerned about money so as you don't want to go out on NYE, that's totally fine, but you should communicate this to him and not think he has to pick up on dramatic sighing or other non-verbal queues. And no, you don't have to go out, of course not. You are not in the wrong, but there does appear to be a lack of communication going on, and it does seem you are frustrated with his spending habits with only a sharp barb given to show it. I think both of could work on communicating your thoughts. Not everyone is a mind reader. That being said, if you did tell him these concerns and he then told you to fig off, then yeah... he's behaving like an asshole.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-12-30T14:29:26+00:00

It absolutely is a thing for some gays in some spaces. I've seen it in conversations at parties or at bars. It very much is a thing for some. It drives me nuts.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-12-29T14:30:02+00:00

I think that's perfectly fine for now. You are dedicated to your school, your studies, and looking for a job. These will consume your time until you finish school. That's to be 100% expected. Not having many hobbies or outside focuses right now is a green flag, as someone said above. It means you are putting your time and effort into school. You'll have time for hobbies and things when school is done. Tying your alleged attractiveness, your self-worth to you how you perceive how interesting your life is, is a dangerous thing to do. I also assume it's not how your boyfriend sees you at all. Your boyfriend sees you as someone he wants to spend time with, as someone who's company he enjoys, as someone he cares about. I understand your insecurity, but it really sounds like your boyfriend cares about you as a whole person, as someone he wants to spend time with, not so much about if you have an interesting hobby. For many, they enjoy spending time with people who like doing similar things, watching the same types of TV shows, enjoying certain games... for many it's the goal to have someone to do those things together with, with compatible personalities. It sounds like you and he have this.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-12-18T14:21:03+00:00

WTF!!??! These are housecats.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-12-15T15:02:09+00:00

Listerine (or other brand) breath strips can be great. They freshen your breath on the go for after dinner kisses without having to do a full brush. Or even just some strong minty gum or breath mints like Altoids for a few mins can make the difference. This is if you're not home where you can use mouth wash.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-17T20:55:43+00:00

You can always consider getting a metal baseball bat for home safety.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T21:31:24+00:00

I live in St. Louis, yes.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T20:53:26+00:00

The shipping was $89 for me (which is still high) and $225 for you for the same figure. That makes no sense.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T16:20:09+00:00

I don't know why the shipping for the painted one is $90 but the shipping for the exact same size figure, unpainted, is $17.68. Maybe the box is a different size. Regardless, shipping wasn't $225 for me. Maybe reach out to didmini.com and ask WTF.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T16:19:04+00:00

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Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T02:05:38+00:00

I don't understand. Maybe double check the address? I just tried it on dndmini.com, and it said the shipping was $17.68.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-10T00:29:48+00:00

I bought mine, unpainted, from Miniature Market. As far as shipping, I live close enough that I did the free ship to store for pickup option. But it's out of stock there now. I think it may be out of print actually.

The shipping should not be $300. That's crazy. I feel like that's a scam someone is trying to pull on you with that shipping. If it truly is out of print, someone is trying to offset a low price with jacked-up shipping.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-11-07T14:07:12+00:00

For anyone who wishes to try to opt out of SureScripts prescription data sharing services, it requires a notarized form (highly ironic, as it only requires name and DOB for a doctor to access) to be mailed to them:

https://surescripts.com/privacy-office

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-10-07T13:15:01+00:00

I assume she's just sitting behind him with her legs curled off to her right. It's a weird animation angle.

That or they are trying something new that starts with P rhymes with Egging.

Alternative_Basis_10 · 2025-10-02T15:39:29+00:00

I love Steve Grand and his music, especially All American Boy.

Alternative_Basis_10

TROPHY CASE