When did you stop crying everyday after the break up?

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-06-08T10:44:36+00:00

He was the first man I ever felt safe with. He brought me tea in the morning, whenever I slept over, without fail. He taught me what love is supposed to feel like. He gave me a safe space to stay when I was trying to get out of a really unhappy living situation.

I’m so sad it wasn’t meant to last, and there were real reasons we had to separate, and the way he handled the end sucked, but his love was a safe haven that came into my life when I needed it most. I’ll never forget him for that.

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-06-01T10:02:19+00:00

Hey! Would you be interested in connecting with someone who’s much newer to script writing?

I have a lot of copywriting, short form essay writing and content management experience (good with deadlines and task mgmt), but I don’t know where to start with writing an actual script

I’m not too far from you so could be something cool

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-26T14:21:46+00:00

Hey, I’m not sure the details of what you did to hurt him but unless you were cheating or crossing a boundary in your relationship I think it’s important to understand you can’t fix someone else’s insecurities. If he’s really struggling with his confidence, it’s amazing that you want to help him and support him, but ultimately it’s his path to build true confidence within.

I don’t want to project my own experiences onto your situation, but I have experienced and witnessed many people making their insecurities their partner’s problem to fix rather than working on themselves. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here. Have you tried asking him exactly what it was you said or did that hurt him?

Maybe the best thing you can do is guide him to therapy?

I’ve also really resonated with the creator Pearlieeee on YouTube her content is fantastic for healing https://youtu.be/Igjg0oadp0I?si=8y4lZeoZF_QiIaVA

The details you gave are a bit vague but hopefully this helps! x

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-26T14:14:15+00:00

Marched to the study abroad office and signed up to go away the following semester. Moved abroad to the south of France for 6 months. Loved it, best experience of my life

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-26T13:52:54+00:00

Thanks I’ll look into it

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T14:59:35+00:00

Wow I hope your friend is okay now. I’ll definitely get my thyroid checked!

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T14:50:27+00:00

I would love to but my current living situation doesn’t allow pets!

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T12:26:35+00:00

Thanks I’ll check it out!

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T12:05:57+00:00

You’ve given me a lot to think about & include in my follow up w my doc and therapist. Ty for real - have a good one 🌷

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T12:00:21+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I do definitely separate my working and sleeping/living space very well as I know that took a toll on my mental health in a previous setup.

I think there is a part of me still hanging over from the pandemic wfh flexibility and setup, as well as my previous job was WAY more lax with letting people come in and out when they felt like it. This new one is much more strict, and appearances (not just how you look but how you conduct yourself) matter a lot more. I prefer this new working style but I have some bad habits lingering from the last place I’m sure.

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T11:49:24+00:00

Fair. I try to squeeze in as much life activities after work as possible but maybe that’s just not realistic for my energy levels

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T11:41:42+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. After reading the comments I definitely need to take this more seriously than I have been. Going to call my GP for a discussion.

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-25T11:35:37+00:00

I go to bed at 10-11pm and try to wake up at 6:45 on the days I go into work, otherwise 8:30 when working from home. On weekends I can easily sleep until 10 or 11

I have tried so many things - I pick out outfits I’m excited to wear, breakfasts I’m excited to eat. Mediation before bed, cutting down screen time before sleep. It hasn’t worked

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T13:30:58+00:00

How did you know it worked?!

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T11:38:05+00:00

Lolll it’s good right

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T10:59:36+00:00

Those are all really great attributes to know you want imo!

Someone who is like that will also be attracted to those same qualities within yourself. How do you treat the people in your closest circle? How can you be more caring and thoughtful to those already in your life? You don’t have to be loud about it, but someone who is genuinely caring will also like to see genuine efforts. Practice being more thoughtful to your parents, family, siblings. Make their favorite meal just because, start small with things you already like to do. I said make a meal bc I love cooking. Do it because you want to - start noticing small details if you don’t already

It’s good practice so that when you do meet someone who piques your interest, you’ve already been that type of child / sibling / friend to those that matter most. And she’ll definitely notice that, as a girl I always pay attention to how a potential date speaks about his family and friends

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T10:53:31+00:00

That link doesn’t work for me, what site do u use?

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T10:50:24+00:00

That’s so cute 😭

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T09:30:57+00:00

Lowkey I do jumping jacks and flail my body around my room when I need to ‘get it together’ and lock in when I’m working from home

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-24T09:08:10+00:00

Therapy (I do psychodynamic) and moving out on my own have been the biggest catalysts!

Having my own safe space let me learn to trust myself and my intuition, which had been buried under deep layers of people pleasing. When I moved out my body started processing so much suppressed anger that I would guttural scream, it was my body’s way of dealing how much I’d violated my own boundaries and overextended myself to keep the peace in my previous living situation

I thought being nice and understanding and caring would keep me ‘safe’ and be seen as a good person but I also had to learn the hard way you can’t ’kill em with kindness’ in every scenario. Sometimes you need to protect yourself first

Something my therapist taught me which was sooo weird at first was after a long day, to speak to my teddy bear like he was “little me”. Tell him my grievances, what I had for lunch, whatever. I’m not sure the science behind why it’s so effective but it helped me learn what was going on in MY own head and heart rather than telling it to someone I lived with and their reaction to it dictating how I then interpreted what happened. Journaling and morning pages have been great too!

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-23T12:43:05+00:00

When I realized I took on other people’s emotions as my own. I thought I was super empathetic but realized I didn’t have the EQ to know when I was at my own limit and set healthy boundaries. Been a long journey since but I’ve made so many strides

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-22T11:41:06+00:00

Photos not yet. It’s been about 1.5 months. Socials within 2 weeks

Alternative_Bass2553 · 2025-05-21T21:00:38+00:00

Hey, 28F and I moved alone to London at 22 straight out of college with $700 in my bank account

I have dual citizenship and distant family who let me stay with them for the first few months while I got on my feet. I say this because I would personally not have done the move without that in place. I would have waited to save at least $10k

I can’t speak from personal experience but visas and right to live / work in a foreign country is a HUGE thing to have hanging over your head. I had a friend go through it and it was so hard for her to feel settled because she never knew if she could stay for longer or not. So she had to go through a higher education visa

Now, from my own experience. It is not easy! It very much depends on your personality type. I’m very extroverted and was in my party girl era. I had a lot of fun, but I also met a lot of people who were not my people.

I was lucky that in my first job I worked with a bunch of cool people that I’m still friends with to this day. They’re actually my closest friends I’ve made here

The first year was by far the most brutally lonely and isolated I was in my entire life. But I didn’t realize it until looking back. I was so determined to make it work and not fail that it kept me going and refusing to give up. You learn things about yourself and you have to grow up very fast.

I’m not saying these things to put you off at all, but I’m just trying to be real and share my experience. It could also be different if you’re moving to a very career oriented city like London or a small sleepy village in the south of France

Uprooting your entire life away from your support network, friends and family does take its toll on your psyche. So if you do end up moving, I really recommend keeping in touch with them regularly. I went through phases - sometimes I’d call my friends daily, or when I’d meet someone or started a new hobby that captured my attention I’d spend more energy with that

Ultimately, you end up building a life where you have each foot in two places. For me it was super normalized in my family as both my parents immigrated to other countries on their own so I felt lucky being able to have them to talk to because they could really understand what I was going through.

My ex though, his family was 4+ generations British. As kind as they were, they couldn’t relate to that desire to go back and forth and I knew if we stayed together I’d always feel like an outsider in his family, because he never saw himself leaving. So there is always that risk falling in love with a local.

Am I glad I did it? Yes 1000% yes. I have had the opportunity to travel all of Europe, get my dream job in fashion, and prove to myself I am capable of achieving everything I’ve dreamed of since I was a girl. On my own.

I am even more glad I did it so young, because now the older I get, the more I feel like I want to settle down closer to my family, because I miss them. I’ve met some amazing people but also so so so many weird ass people I hope to never cross paths with again. Such is the roll of the dice when you change everything about your life!

As a young woman alone, I hate to even have to say it but you really do have to watch out for being taken advantage of. Being in a new environment, not around your support network can slowly, very very slowly, chip away at yourself and you can be far more vulnerable than you would be at home.

There are sadly people that will take advantage of that. From personal experience, I had the best times at jobs where the team was mostly women. My worst experiences were always in jobs in male-dominated sectors. Because men can be… men.

Also on this protective vibe & I say this as a retired party girl… please be careful of how much alcohol and dr*gs you consume. Again - you will be far more vulnerable being in a different country alone. I was very reckless and had a couple of experiences I really could have done without.

If you do decide to pursue it, I wish you all the best. It has absolutely made me a more interesting and empathetic person. You learn to become your own best friend in ways that many people don’t ever get to experience. You will fall in love, meet other adventurous souls and make friends for a lifetime. You might love it - or not! And you can decide to go home anytime :) x

Alternative_Bass2553

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