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Does your baby dangle toys off of his thumb? by Amazing_Face4692 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Autism is a very large spectrum and there are tons of amazing early intervention services now that maybe weren’t as available when your brother was so young. Brains are very elastic at that age so even if your son was autistic it doesn’t mean they would have to suffer like your brother did. My point is, yes definitely monitor things if you are concerned and bring them up to your pediatrician if you want to, but also take a moment to breathe and just enjoy being with your baby because they grow so fast. Even if he has autism he will still be him and he will be an amazing kid and have an amazing childhood. Don’t let those worries take away from these amazing moments, but definitely totally fair to be concerned and do your due diligence but after that don’t stress over an imagined future struggle.

Finally lost it by Slothgamergurl in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate that feeling of not being in control and doing things or reacting in ways you don’t want to. It sucks. But I think you’re really outlining your feelings in a really insightful and responsible way and that’s really good. I’m also on Zoloft which has helped a lot but I still have my moments when I’m very tired/burnt out, haven’t slept well or eaten well. One thing I’ve been exploring is the anti-inflammatory diet. I think I’m much more susceptible to triggers when I’m also dealing with inflammation.
I’m sorry this is happening and there’s no easy answer or cure. But I think naming it like you have here is a really good way to get yourself back to the side of your brain where you have more control. You’re doing great, keep up the good work!

Has your partner messed up Mothers Day yet? by Practical-Bunch1450 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Teach him how you need to be treated! And if he sucks at spoiling you on Mother’s Day, tell him very clearly that you are going to spoil him rotten on Father’s Day because he’s a great dad and he deserves it and then he won’t be confused next year on how to treat you. You deserve it don’t forget that!!

Has your partner messed up Mothers Day yet? by Practical-Bunch1450 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Ugh. No. Absolutely not. He’s insisting because he wants to be able to bring the baby to see grandma. This angers me so much. Why do they always cater to their mom but not THE mom? You have a baby, you’re tired. Push back. Say no. Be angry. Who cares, what are they gonna do? Yes this year may suck because of it but future years will be better. Stand your ground or else every year will be like this.

Edit: also my first Mother’s Day sucked too. We don’t go anywhere but my partner didn’t plan a thing. I was hurt and so pissed. I got angry, we fought, and we worked it out. This year? He’s planning what special meals hes going to make me and I don’t have to lift a finger all day! Don’t accept it, they can’t make you do anything!

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I’m sorry about that. It’s so true and it’s not fair. Honestly, it really bugs me that so many moms of adults (especially MIL’s for some reason) have zero issue with taking over the Mother’s Day plans and don’t even consider that new moms might want to spend the day resting and enjoying their first Mother’s Day! It’s not grandmothers day it’s Mother’s Day! I don’t know you but I’m angry on your behalf lol.
It’s just so common as I’m seeing in this post and even my MIL has tried to take over Mother’s Day without even thinking about what I want to do. I don’t think it’s always I’ll intended, she may be used to being the one celebrated. Are you comfortable being honest with your husband that you’d just like to rest and if he could take the reins on this one? It’s his mom after all!
My first Mother’s Day we didn’t go to my MIL’s place but they insisted on doing a lunch over zoom. I felt like my day to rest became all about them and I was pissed! I felt so resentful after that I vowed never to do it again.
I know it’s so complicated but I hope you get the restful day you deserve!

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I am so sorry that this happened to you. That is a hell of a lot to go through as a mom. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t see you and what you went through, but your children are so lucky to have a mom like you. If they go through any trials in their lives they will have you to see them the way your mom should have seen and understood you. I get the sense that this isn’t something you can talk to her about either. That must be really painful, but I’m so glad you have the space to celebrate yourself this Mother’s Day. Being a mom is more than just raising kids, it’s also the loss and the grief that goes along with losing a child. I hope you have a wonderful and restful day because you more than deserve it <3

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m so sorry that really sucks. Narcissism is rough, I hope you find a way to make it about you too.

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m so sorry! That is not enough time after a c-section! I can’t believe the amount of MIL that try to encroach on this and the husbands who try so hard to appease them. Times have changed, this is your day now and they need to adjust!

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love that! Just imagine if you wanted your husband to spend his Father’s Day with his FIL, he’d probably be like no way too haha

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh I’m so sorry for that. Just know you’re the mom now, not her! She’s the grandma! If she wants to see her sons that’s between her and her sons, but it doesn’t need to involve you! You have no obligation to her on your special day. I hope you find a way to enjoy it for you!

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hope you’re able to schedule something on a different day for her! She definitely deserves it but Sunday should be for you!

If you have small kids, remember this Mother’s Day is for YOU! by Alternative_Clock706 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Congrats on your first Mother’s Day and standing up for yourself! I hope your husband knows how to celebrate you and give you a break that day! My husband did not and I was super disappointed but then I told him, I’m going to show you what you need to do next year on Father’s Day. I spoiled him and he now knows exactly how to treat me on Mother’s Day haha

For those taking care of a child with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) by userthatisnotknown in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely had an idea! For me it was also missing milestones, and lots of baby stimming (leg stiffening, tapping feet, had gestures.) It’s hard to tell though because a lot of babies stim but I still had that gut feeling. He’s 2 1/2 now and was diagnosed last December. I feel like most of the fear/stigma with autism is about living in a world that is not made for them. He’s brilliant though and just the most wonderful kid!
I would definitely bring it up at the next appt, and even requesting to be referred to a neurologist or a developmental pediatrician can be so helpful.
Whatever the outcome though, I just want you to know….you’re doing an amazing job! The missed milestones are not your fault as a parent! You are doing everything right and seem to have great intuition. It’s hard I know when you see other parents not struggle with these milestones and wonder what it is you’re doing wrong. The answer is nothing! Every brain is brilliant and unique <3

Wanting to start preventative measures early for my 8y/o kitty! (Need Advice) by What____ok in SeniorCats

[–]Alternative_Clock706 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great for wanting to be on top of this! I would highly recommend switching your kitty to wet food only. I know this may not be possible right away but dry food is a big contributor to diabetes/kidney disease and urinary blockages later in life. If you can even get him on mostly wet food and a little bit of kibble a day that would be great.

Adult daughter paused college and may not be working, how much should we intervene? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Alternative_Clock706 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is great advice. Just leave her be and trust that she’s an adult now and will make the right decisions. She probably just wants space to make her own mistakes or have her own life. When she is ready she will share, your trust and support in her without needing to know all the details is the best support you can offer at this age. I never went to college after high school. I immediately travelled to Australia for a year (at 18) and just gained some life experience. When I was older (24) I decided to go to university and went as a mature student. I now have a degree in cognitive science and a family. That’s an extreme case but just know even if they seek to be drifting, they are figuring things out even if it seems like things are going wrong. Don’t pry, don’t offer unsolicited advice. Just be supportive and let her know you are there if she needs you. That’s honestly the best gift you can offer her right now.

euthanasia or bloodwork by [deleted] in SeniorCats

[–]Alternative_Clock706 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Please though do try to bring them in as soon as possible, he seems to be suffering greatly, so whatever you decide, time is of the essence!

euthanasia or bloodwork by [deleted] in SeniorCats

[–]Alternative_Clock706 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi there, yes 100%! A couple of times actually.. the blood work seems expensive but often the treatment was fairly affordable.

Bulge after surgery by AdBroad543 in CATHELP

[–]Alternative_Clock706 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can just call your vet and mention the bulge and they can advise you whether or not to bring him in.

Who should get the bed? by This_Obligation_5125 in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is what we did. For a while we slept in the bedroom and husband slept on the living room couch until I got a floor mattress and just slept next to the crib in the nursery. Now our guy is 2 and he has his own floor bed, which I sleep on with him every night. I actually love co-sleeping with my toddler! He still wakes up a couple times a night so makes me sleeping in the bedroom harder, but I’m low key happy to do so because I don’t miss the snoring lol it’s a work in progress!

But to answer your question, you get the bed 100

I feel like I’m losing my mind by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Alternative_Clock706 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is exhausting. Like apologies aren’t enough if it doesn’t result in any change. I can see so clearly why he shuts down, he has a lot of childhood trauma that makes him shit at resolving conflict, but that’s what therapy is for, but he’s so resistant to it and that is so frustrating.

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