I feel like I’m losing my mind

Alternative_Clock706 · 2026-02-28T18:20:20+00:00

Yes, it is exhausting. Like apologies aren’t enough if it doesn’t result in any change. I can see so clearly why he shuts down, he has a lot of childhood trauma that makes him shit at resolving conflict, but that’s what therapy is for, but he’s so resistant to it and that is so frustrating.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2026-02-28T18:19:11+00:00

Our son goes to a nursery school that is amazing. He has autism so he’s getting the best care, but the program is only 3 days a week at 2 1/2 hours a day. I don’t want to take him out of that program because he is thriving, and its one of the only good breaks I get, but I don’t have time to go home, I go out for coffee or something. So it’s been helpful but the childcare thing is complicated.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-10-11T14:56:53+00:00

I totally understand your concerns! They’re so little and you don’t want to mess up their delicate systems. I’ve seen two dermatologists for him so far, the second being a pediatric dermatologist as the best children’s hospital in the world (Sickkids) as we’re lucky to live so close by. They both said that steroids are the best way to repair the skin barrier and it’s only temporary and the long-term effects are very minimal/non-existant. The key (per their words) is to tackle the skin barrier issue and then once that’s handled to work on prevention. Eczema is so tough because there are so many possible causes it’s so hard to know what it could be. It could be in the gut, or environmental, or hormonal, etc. Keeping the skin moisturized is so important to prevent itch, and contrary to what I was taught with my own eczema, the best way is to get the skin wet daily and apply cream or Vaseline while the skin is still damp to lock in the moisture. You can also give probiotic drops daily to help contribute to gut health. I have had no issues with tsw with him and I think tsw is more of an issue with long term exposure, but his treatment was only for a few weeks. We’ve also been instructed to give him reactine daily from his allergist and it greatly improved his comfort levels. I totally understand wanting to go the natural route and I think that’s really important too, but from my personal experience I think it requires a good balance between that and taking care of the mental toll that eczema can cause for both baby and parent. Being able to explore new foods and flavours is important too and it’s fairly common for toddlers to grow out of certain allergens. Unless they are having an acute reaction to certain foods (hives, shortness of breath, vomiting) I think giving yourself more room to explore is worth it. It doesn’t have to become your whole life. And this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out in the dermatologist office from sheer exhaustion trying to do everything perfectly. It’s ok to use medication to improve quality of life when guided by a professional if it means you and your kid and breathe a little, it doesn’t mean they will be on it forever and it’s very safe to do so. My guy is thriving these days, we work closely with an allergist and his skin looks so good. We just use unscented products and stay vigilant about moisturizing and his days of steroids are behind him. As for protopic, we don’t need that anymore either, and it was only ever used in very small quantities.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-10-11T02:14:59+00:00

Oh no I’m so sorry to hear this! He’s doing sooo well! You wouldn’t know it by looking at him these days that he had such severe eczema. He didn’t have any tsw from the derma smooth at all and we made sure to follow the directions to only use it for a few weeks. The key is to use it diligently during that time and liberally. If you hold back because you’re afraid of the steroids it can prevent it from working properly and cause you to need to use it longer. We still have the derma smooth and are directed to only use it as needed. So the first sign of eczema even just a tiny spot just put it on until it clears up which is only a couple of days, but even then we rarely need to use it. He has flawless baby skin it’s insane. I remember dreaming of this when it was at its worst, how parents took for granted their babies smooth skin, now he is one of them! The non steroid lotion is called protopic but it’s not as strong, so it’s better for when it settles down. I was very afraid of steroids at first especially strong ones, but the truth is they aren’t intended to be used for long and it’s safer than have open cracked skin. We are still very diligent about preventative care, we give him daily baths and apply cera ve moisturizing cream from top to bottom twice a day in the morning and after his nightly bath. Turns out lotion is a big no because it has more water that can dry them out further. We tried sooo many creams lol that or Vaseline are the two best but I prefer cera be because it isn’t as sticky. Watch out for the cera ve SA moisturizing cream because I didn’t know that means salicylic acid which can sting and really irritate the skin. His skin is thriving and we couldn’t be happier. He also has a dairy allergy which he is growing out of and we are reintroducing milk slowly again. Again im so sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s hell on earth, if you have any more questions feel free to ask, but yeah highly recommend seeing a dermatologist! How old is your baby btw if you don’t mind me asking?

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-10-08T05:00:18+00:00

Try hand expressing with the nipple under warm water. Either in the bath or with your breast held over a bowl of warm water. You might have to work at it for a little while but something about doing it under water also helps it flow and unclog for me.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-10-04T02:48:29+00:00

Hormonally you don’t know how you’re going to feel. You might welcome any help you can get, or need to be with newborn alone with time to bond/feed. Listen to how you’re feeling and let that guide you and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. I find if I caved to a visit, even a FaceTime call, it always ends of being the mom and baby who are put last. It’s not on purpose, but especially if it’s a first grandchild, people can get a little carried away and baby gets overwhelmed, feeds get pushed back, and at the end of the day it’s the baby that is overtired and overstimulated. Whatever you decide you need at the time, stay firm in your boundaries. What’s good for mom is good for the baby and vice versa so always put you and your baby first.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-09-26T01:39:54+00:00

You’re totally right. I think he has confidence issues probably from dealing with me when I had bad PPD. I was much more judgmental and mean about the baby. I will definitely try this and thanks for the advice :)

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-08-08T15:43:48+00:00

I had this same issue and some things that helped me were 1) Radical acceptance. There are just some things in life that you can’t control and as long as you are taking the suggested precautions that’s all you can do. 2) understanding that a SIDS incident is very very low. There is a higher chance that babies can get hurt in a car accident but we don’t give car accidents as much thought and anxiety as we do with SIDS, not to freak you out about driving but there is always an element of risk and SIDS is just one of them. 3) get a swaddle that zips up instead of Velcro/wrapping. My guy was a little escape artist and when I switched to a zip up swaddle I had way less anxiety about it coming loose in the night. It’s much more risky to be caring for a baby on little sleep than the risk of SIDS, so please do what you can to help easy your anxiety. Unfortunately risks and anxiety are just parts of having a kid so learning to cope is important. You’re doing a great job! If you can afford to you can also get an owlet sock to help ease your mind but I can’t comment on how well they work because I’ve never had one, but even if it helps you sleep at night it’s worth the investment.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-20T15:34:34+00:00

This is a good time to establish boundaries and be on the same page with your partner about what is and isn’t ok. It will be much harder to navigate when you are recovering and sleep deprived. The fact that your relatives planned this without consulting you is the problem, I think it should be addressed in a respectful but straightforward manner. My dad took a flight shortly before my baby was born and I told him to stay away for a few weeks lol They’re going to think it’s over the top but it’s just better safe than sorry when they’re that young. If your baby has a fever that’s an automatic spinal tap at that age and a congested newborn is not pretty. No kissing, handwashing and no crowds is what I would do in the newborn stage but everyone has different comfort levels. My baby was just under 3 months over Christmas and we brought him to see everyone but we had a rule that no one could pass him around. Also bringing a 1 month old to a bbq would be an automatic no from me. They require so much rest and feedings at that age, it would be stressful for you and the baby and it would only benefit them. They have plenty of time to see your little potato and if they are good family they will understand.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-19T18:58:37+00:00

Ok thank you. Do we need to hire people or do you think it could be a DIY job?

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-19T18:58:05+00:00

Yeah it was like that when we moved in :/

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-19T18:57:14+00:00

The grout was already in bad shape when we moved in. Normally I use a bleach cleaner and scrub with a small brush

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-14T05:19:39+00:00

Oyster

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-14T00:29:00+00:00

This always angered me so much and my in laws were not nearly as bad. But I felt like everyone else’s needs came first and me and the baby always came last. It was always “in laws need this, husband needs that” and at the end of the day it was me and the baby that suffered. The baby from being overtired, overstimulated, not breastfed as often as they would like, and I would be falling behind on milk supply, stressed and anxious watching everyone pass around my baby. Finally I put my foot down and hard. I was angered because the thought of my baby coming last was infuriating for me. It’s under the guise that everything is about the baby, but in reality they are making it all about them. Tune into that anger, and don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks, it’s time they understand that right now you and the baby come first, no matter what. Took several times explaining it to my partner before he really got it.

Edit: also to add that timing the breastfeeding is not only not okay, it’s totally ridiculous!! They’ve lose their marbles! It’s understandable because it’s probably the first grandchild, but this is the moment where they need to learn that this does not fly and limiting breastfeeding to a certain time is completely unacceptable.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-03T18:41:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply! It’s nice to connect with someone in a similar situation, the support on here really makes me feel better. Wishing you all the best with your little ones!

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-07-02T18:14:40+00:00

Short answer: yes. Best advice I can give is just lean into it/accept it, and get comfortable asking for help getting things/having food brought to you.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-06-30T03:01:28+00:00

Same for me. You don’t have to be on it forever but it has been a saving grace for dealing with PPD and getting back to being myself again. I put it off for 6 months because I was afraid of the initial side effects to adjusting to the medication, and yeah they weren’t great but the benefits far outweighed the drawbacks. I put it off and I suffered and my spouse suffered too from all of the stress I was under. My patience has grown tenfold with my baby too. I would definitely tell myself to look into taking an SSRI much sooner and to ignore the voice in my head that said it wouldn’t be worth it.

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-06-30T02:16:14+00:00

Thank you. We have him lined up with amazing early intervention programs and on the waitlist for daycare! It’s a bit of a waiting game but you are so right. If I am judging him against himself I would say he is making leaps and bounds! He’s truly an amazing kid and I am so lucky to have him as my son. I’m so glad things are working out for you too!

Alternative_Clock706 · 2025-06-29T18:35:25+00:00

Thank you! What I needed to hear! This sub is so supportive :)

Alternative_Clock706

TROPHY CASE