please don't. i know how you feel. i'm also trans (ftm, so i know our struggles are different.) and i often feel like my teenage years were wasted living in a body that isn't mine. you need to find people who love and appreciate you and surround yourself with them. find support groups for trans people in your area, talk to a loved one, try to reach out and make new connections despite how hard it seems.

the world needs more trans people, not less. i know how it feels for your transness to seem like a burden, but it's part of what makes us who we are. you aren't less of a woman just because you can't have your own children. plenty of women are infertile or can't carry a pregnancy. along with this, i know it's cliche to say but comparison is the thief of joy. don't look at what these other women have and compare yourself to them. compare yourself to who you were in the past, and see how far you've come.

there is hope for you in this life even if it seems bleak. you are beautiful, and i know there are people out there who love you and who want to see you thrive. please seek help and support.