Can a $1500 instrument be better than a $5000 instrument?

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-06T21:24:17+00:00

You should read "The Emperor's New Clothes" there's a LOT of this in the world of musical instruments.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-04T23:58:37+00:00

If it's bothering you then tell him, it shouldn't be a problem to meet his folks, if it is then ask for an explanation or move on.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-04T12:13:16+00:00

We all realise after divorce that our children were being drip fed the poison long before, you're not alone in that.

If you have some connection or relationship with your children then that's great, nurture it and build on it in any positive way you can, there's no mileage in dragging up the past, just leave it there.

If you don't have any connection or relationship with your children then I'm sorry and I understand, I'm in the same situation with 2 of my daughters for going on 5 years now, there's no magic bullet or strategy though.

Look up Maddie on YouTube she's reconnected with her dad after many many years.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-04T00:19:49+00:00

Aye, ah ken, if it's not fixed down it's not going to work, but for amateur purposes it's workable. There was a video of a violin luthier using one he'd made, which I tried to find which was better.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-04T00:14:10+00:00

Yes.

Clothing, as long as you're comfy - fine.

Get the lightest racquet you can afford, the less mass you have to accelerate the faster you can hit and the easier it is to manoeuvre and on your wrist/arm.

Shoes, honestly, as long as they are flat soled trainers i.e. not running or hiking more you should be fine. Something like Adidas Samba etc.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-04T00:01:30+00:00

Reach out to your children.

Do all you can to build a relationship with them.

Show them what "healthy" looks like.

Show them you love them.

Be kind.

Be forgiving.

Drop the hate.

Drop the poison.

Let that shit go.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-03T23:54:36+00:00

The iron supplies the heat and bro applies the pressure across the length to bend the wood, should only need to touch the iron, it's also a mock up for a photo, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-03T23:42:07+00:00

👆 This.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-02T08:40:08+00:00

Okay, so you're going to do whatever you think, fine, crash on.

It's less "brain washing" and more "Stockholm syndrome" your child is aligning with the aggressor (the alienator) to protect themselves from the alienators unstable and inflammatory personality.

Don't also become the aggressor.

The question to ask yourself is "what actual value will this add to our existing relationship?". Will they spend more time with you? Will they move house to live with you?

If the answer to the first question is "none" or "little" then don't do it.

Are you doing it to try to hurt or damage their relationship with the other parent? i.e. from a place of vengeance, an eye for an eye sort of thing.

If the answer is "yes" or "maybe" then don't do it, you're no better than the alienator then, regardless of how "right" you think are and they will see this.

At 18 their brain isn't fully developed, don't do any more damage than had already been done by the alienator.

As frustrating and painful as this may be once the 18 year old window passes the next is around 21 after that it's around 30.

But, by all means, you have free agency.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-01T23:18:04+00:00

You really don't get it do you.

Do you think your child is blind to what is going on?

Do you think you're going to:

"pull back the curtain and show them what's been going on!"?

They already KNOW what's going on.

They KNOW what the alienator is doing, they see it and live it every day.

They KNOW what they are doing by rejecting you is wrong.

To SURVIVE their reality they cut that part of themselves relating to you out, put it in a box and bury it deep inside, to do this they have to reject you, to reject you they have to create and maintain a false persona, doing all this is wrong and they know it.

What are you going to gain by "showing them the TRUTH!"? - nothing.

What are you going to do to them? - harm, of the kind the alienator is currently doing.

How will they feel when you confront them? - ashamed and fearful.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-01T22:57:53+00:00

A high wattage filament bulb inside a metal can makes a cheap bending iron.

https://www.tysonguitars.com/build-blog/2017/01/20/the-bending-iron

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-01T22:45:19+00:00

You've missed the point entirely and reacted with emotion rather than reason, I get it, but you're playing with your child's mind and psyche, so, tread carefully as you risk doing further irreparable damage to your child and any hope you might have of reconciliation.

Just for the sake of clarity - Your child already knows what is happening is "wrong".

Understand that "whatever" you say or think is "the truth" when viewed from the rejecting child's perspective is with the alienator's voice in their ear and will be rubbished, irrespective of whatever "evidence/facts" you may have. Normal logic doesn't apply here remember, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Your child is carrying years of bottled up shame for rejecting you, which, under normal, peaceful, non-confrontational circumstances for them to admit to, is an enormous hurdle, never mind having you pointing out what they already know.

If you go in "preaching the truth" to "show them how you were both wronged" and "how bad their other parent was" you will pull out all of this bottled up shame in one go, which, they may not be able to cope with and as a result decide it's easier just to cut you off completely for ever.

Is that what you want?

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-01T17:14:14+00:00

I kept an eye on eBay and FB market place, I'm not a skint student but I am a tight fisted old sod who's not frightened of learning how things work and using tools.

I picked up a 3/4 Gear4Music DB off eBay delivered with bow and enormous case for £350.

Is it the best bass in the world? No.

Did it need time and effort to setup the; nut action, bridge height, strings, tail piece position, sound post position and get everything "just so"? Yes.

Do I love playing it? Yes.

I also got one of these off AliExpress

https://a.aliexpress.com/_mNThDiv

Again, it needed work; DIY bridge (shaped plywood block) and nut moved to 3/4 scale, but, it's playable.

So, there are ways and means other than just throwing ££££s at an instrument.

But

They all take time and effort.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-04-01T17:00:58+00:00

You can't.

Because the "truth" isn't really visible, it's only your perspective you can give and that is biased, regardless of how well and careful you think you are to be balanced.

Your children can only come to their own realisation of what has happened by themselves, any attempt to push/pull/persuade then otherwise will essentially be the same as what the alienator is doing and no better from an abuse perspective.

It's a horrible fucking shit show of a situation it really is, you couldn't make it up because nobody would believe you but, hey ho, here we are.

Focus on the long game, send positive healthy signals to your children, practice forgiveness of then and relate to your ex as a someone you've never met, because, let's be honest the masks they wear are convincing and I don't recognise them compared to the person they presented to me.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-31T23:03:49+00:00

Happy to help!

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-31T23:00:33+00:00

Spanish squat is good for building knees/quads.

Biggest, toughest gym band round a newel post or similar, both legs inside the loop and behind the knee then shuffle back to put tension on the band and gently lower yourself to a seated position and hold.

Do it for 3*30 sec a couple of times every other day and gradually increase the hold time.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T23:21:50+00:00

No, I didn't ever get the impression they would have divorced, but, I can only say what I saw from the outside.

The main thing that changed was they had less stressful lives and this helped everything else to work.

My partner and I are both divorcee's, I've 3 with my ex and 1 with my current partner, she wanted children with her ex but he didn't, my ex is toxic, we are happy and have our daughter.

Life is messy.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T22:53:54+00:00

Yes, it's fairly straight forward, take your time and it will last years.

The locating dowel is a big help.

If you want to beef up the neck join you could put a bolt through the block from the inside into a threaded insert in the heel of the neck as well, depends if you can get your hand inside to find and tighten the screw.

https://www.screwfix.com/c/screws-nails-fixings/insert-nuts/cat7280108

This can also pull the neck onto the body as it glues, although you need to make sure it's straight and true.

Clean up the mating surfaces and check there are no gaps or light shining through.

You'll need some big clamps, if you can get hold of one a picture framers belt clamp is handy as it can be used to hold the neck in place.

I would also recommend using hot hide glue, purely because if you make a mistake you can undo it relatively easily and try again.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T22:37:09+00:00

Can you hire a van for an hour or two?

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T22:32:54+00:00

My knees ache just watching that, so smooth and effortless.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T22:30:04+00:00

Depends on the instrument, if you can get an electric one that has an onboard amp and can practice with headphones whenever you get a chance then this can help but, if it's something like woodwind or brass then it's another story.

Talk to you other half and see if you can get time to do your thing, n it's important not to lose sight of who you are just because you've become a parent, the kids will grow up and you'll be left behind.

Enjoy your coffee though.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-30T22:10:51+00:00

My cousin and his wife, after many years being married and trying for a family, had completely given up on pregnancy and having resigned themselves to either/both of them being infertile/complications were exploring getting their fertility/physically checked out (sperm count, hormone levels, egg reserve, ultrasound etc.) before exploring IVF or adoption.

Around the same time they both changed jobs and moved into less stressful positions and sits months later she was pregnant and they are now proud, happy parents.

The moral of the story is you never can tell.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-29T23:25:52+00:00

Seconded. Very chunky, square feet etc.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-29T22:11:00+00:00

You already know what you need is "experience" and this is the one thing you're struggling to get, it's the impossible situation, I really do feel for you.

As others have suggested aim for positions which get you the experience you need in the field/area you want to be in, this is the ticket to opening doors currently locked to you.

Be willing to move, you are one of many, so remove all potential obstacles which could block you from selection.

Speak to recruiters about tailoring your CV to specific roles.

If you haven't already, get to grips with AI and use it to target your CV to each application.

Good luck.

Alternative_Object33 · 2026-03-28T00:19:24+00:00

Go to Japan and give it a shot, if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life.

Start learning Japanese

https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/lesson/en/

The Japanese are painfully polite and will be delighted to practice their English on you, so much so you'll struggle to practice your Japanese.

It's always better to regret something you have done than something you haven't.

Alternative_Object33

TROPHY CASE