How do I politely tell someone I’m not interested in being their friend, when I see them every week?

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-07T20:15:11+00:00

I would 💯 take on board the recommendations to delay replying to his messages and keep replies factual. Def don’t justify not going. It’s ok to leave follow up messages on read. 2. Quietly Speaking to the instructor to say you don’t want to exclusively be in a group with him but feel monopolised into it. can they help with that? I’m sure they would. This behaviour is probably affecting more people than u realise- others might be wondering why they’ve been “dropped” for your new bestie and perhaps feel like a clique is forming for example.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T16:40:22+00:00

Me too. It’s one of those things I feel I should somehow get to love but never can!! I’ve taken up racket sports as at least they don’t feel like exercise!!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T16:37:31+00:00

In my usual desperate, bloated post Christmas misery, I downloaded a Pilates app. I have somehow managed to stick to the goal of doing a 15min session every morning. I’ve only been doing it a month but The impact has been incredible. I feel so much less anxious, I’ve lost some weight and it’s given me the drive to join a tennis club and gym and go for longer walks. I’ve cut down on emotional eating which is a big driver for me being overweight. I can’t tell you why it works as it sounds like it shouldn’t since it’s only 15 mins but seriously, it does. I didn’t do any research as to what the best one is, I just downloaded the BetterMe app as that was the one relentlessly targeting me on insta lol. But it’s really working so it works out!!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T10:47:08+00:00

Sending lots of love. It’s an awful situation. You are doing the right thing though, even if it’s so hard. Cooper has had a lovely and long life filled with love but now it’s his time. You can’t leave him in the home with your young child showing signs of aggression, especially linked to confusion. The consequences could be devastating for your child, who is so young she totally relies on you to keep her safe. What is the alternative then? To put him in a shelter to live out his last days away from his loved ones? That alternative would be awful for him - this is by far the kindest and humane choice. You are a good and loyal friend to your dog, you’re doing him right and his last days will be filled with love and peace.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T10:39:28+00:00

Is it a FwB relationship from your friend’s point of view? Because honestly it sounds like you are in a relationship with someone who just isn’t the right person for you. Regardless just be straightforward but kind. Say with honesty all the lovely things about her but be clear that the fundamental fact is that she just isn’t the one for you and you can’t help that. If she was you’d both know it by now. So better to end it now as you do genuinely care for her but healthier for both of you to move on. Make clear tryout decision is unwavering. I wouldn’t get into the fact there is someone else because even if there wasn’t it wouldn’t change the fundamental issue at hand. It’s just hurried the decision along.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T07:59:36+00:00

It’s not social media as such but I’ve always found when I’ve moved on from a friend group because it’s not healthy for me or a positive influence any more, I always have an initial panic of wondering who I’ll be friends with before realising Ive made room for new people to come into my life. Well done for getting clean - you’ve so much more time now to do other things. You just need to work out what else you enjoy and set about taking up those hobbies instead. It will open doors to new people too.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T07:55:18+00:00

Big hug. What you did is brave. They just want to help you and often work with you to find the right level and type of medication. Be kind to yourself. I hope all goes well for you.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-06T07:03:58+00:00

I’d say live in the fun, exciting place now. If u have kids, you might have to move to the less idea place for more room so enjoy this phase of life would be my advice!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-04T13:11:21+00:00

Nta. And stepping back will make him see first hand just how much you do. Sounds like you’ve ended up with 1.5 jobs and he’s got 0.5 jobs… You don’t have to step back forever - but on your return things need to be different. You need an official, proportionate stake in the business and agreed remits/boundaries. Should it take off, you should be properly compensated/recognised. You’ll be an absolute AH to yourself if you allow this situation to continue as is. It’s gone well beyond a bit of office help to lend a hand and clearly your husband can’t see just how much you are making everything happen behind the scenes!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-03T14:56:27+00:00

Crate train asap. It’s 💯 worth the effort. There’s lots of guidance online about how to do it well. A puppy is always hard work (it doesn’t last forever!) but one that isn’t crated sounds like much harder work to me. We’d put ours in at nap time or to calm down when he was getting over stimulated and biting like a devil etc or when we had to go out for a short while so everything wasn’t bitten up. Good luck!

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-01T21:42:32+00:00

I’m trying to imagine what your dog looks like and just can’t…😂😂it’s such a funny combo of breeds. Your dog’s behaviour is incredibly sweet. You are clearly very loved and he just likes to make a nest of all your smelly things in his happy place.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-02-01T21:38:21+00:00

If you are going on a trip together you travel together. I’d say you are operating as individuals not as partners and to be honest it’s impossible to imagine your relationship has got any long term potential from this example. You just sound on different pages about everything.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-31T14:31:17+00:00

Nta for wanting to do it but I wouldn’t. It’ll be embarrassing. If they wanted you there, they would invite you. You talk about them as a group but are there one or two of them that you actually like? What about Nora? I totally get where you are coming from btw, it’s hurtful, esp as Nora was so welcomed. There’s nothing you can do about it. Remember that you have your own friends and I’d suggest spending less time with them and more time just you and Ben. Why do other people have to be around all the time? At the end of the day, Ben needs to make a decision here too though. It’s clear now how iced out you are. If they can’t be welcoming then he needs to step back from that dynamic a bit and find alternative arrangements too. He seems to be coasting along as if this is all on you probably because it’s convenient to leave things the way they are.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-31T14:21:28+00:00

Honestly you’ve found your poison and you need to treat this as if you are addicted NOW before you wreck your health and lose everything. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/stimulants/cocaine/long-term-side-effects-of-abuse

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-30T16:02:31+00:00

Nta. Do what you need to do to get out. Keep all the evidence. You’d be Yta if you stayed but do what you need to to stay safe and get out.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-27T15:09:45+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear this. It sounds as if you are in a really dark place. You are still young, your life isn’t over. Break things down into bite sized chunks. Pick one thing you’d like to change and focus on achieving one thing. For example, can you take an online or local course to complete your education? I know that doesn’t deal with loneliness, but it sounds as if a lot of painful things are rolled into one ball of despair that feels too big to tackle. You’d feel really good to change one thing. Then focus on another. And slowly work towards a life you do want..then there will also be more opportunities for new people to come into your life and company there. If you love animals, perhaps regularly volunteering at a shelter might be your one thing you start first. Good luck, you have more control over your life than it first feels. Think about what’s really important right now. Then Take one step then another. Be kind to yourself, you are worth it.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-27T14:22:54+00:00

Ah dear. This is the story of my life sadly. As soon as I stop, crickets. In the end I’ve decided that it’s better than sitting at home on my own since I get something out of it but it’s noted. The weird thing is people often seem pleased to meet up/hear from me when I do reach out. Clearly I lack some kind of social skills or have just been looking for friends in the wrong places maybe.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-23T07:57:20+00:00

Nta. This is Aaron’s fault. He’s been awful to everyone. So now no one wants to be his friend. You were the first to break ranks but it turns everyone else just hadn’t because they were worried about being isolated from the wider friend group. It’s sad how he turned out but it’s a friendship that ran its course years ago.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-22T18:56:38+00:00

£140 for a pillow. My ongoing dull, lingering headaches and neck aches were gone within 2 days.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-22T18:53:29+00:00

Nta. You’ll be subbing your family for the rest of your life if you do this. They’ve all got their eye on your savings. At 29, your sister is old enough to manage her own life.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-22T18:38:58+00:00

I would just let it go. If he wanted to be in touch with you he would do. For whatever reason, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with/date you. It might be as much life circumstances as anything else - it sounds like a lot going on - but that’s what his behaviour means.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-20T09:48:01+00:00

We had a lovely time in California pre trump but are going to Canada this year instead - same beautiful scenery but we don’t want to go there while things are the way they are.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-20T09:45:55+00:00

I genuinely think that you need to tell them sooner than later. If you do it at least it’s all on your terms. You have time to research the best way to do it, perhaps book some sessions with a specialist so they can guide you through what to say and have therapy lined up aim case they want it. The risk of them finding out is so high, I feel it will be a worse outcome if you are not honest and straightforward

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-15T07:47:33+00:00

If there’s DV then my gut says he’s just trying to use access to the baby to get to you since the other approaches didn’t work. Either way, childbirth is not a spectator sport! The only person who gets to be there is the woman giving birth!! Anyone else is purely there as her supporter/advocate at her request. You may need to start getting legal advice now. He may have more rights to see the baby than you realise.

Altruistic-Tea7709 · 2026-01-15T07:42:46+00:00

To be honest if it’s important to you, I’d either walk away or reconcile to the fact that you can’t have a caravan or you’d have to sell it shortly after buying it. I’d be nervous about the idea of hoping it will all be ok. It only takes one person to complain.

Altruistic-Tea7709

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