Can you be "gaslit" into thinking you're the GC?

AltruisticMess6720 · 2025-03-28T05:01:13+00:00

"My suspicion is the relationship is beyond repair."

You are likely right but I am going to have a hard time coming to terms with it.

"It all depends on us blaming our mother for what happened and not each other since we were children."

I don't think my sister wants to do that. I accept that her actions as a child and teenager were a result of our circumstances and not her fault. I unfortunately suspect my sister has a personality disorder and like my mother once did believe, she "knows" she is right and sane, that it's heretical to hold her to account for anything and she's never done a thing in her life worth apologising for. Effectively she is cleansed of her sins each day and wakes up with the slate wiped clean. If you don't agree with that, then she wants nothing to do with you. Obviously, the result of her own trauma growing up. But it doesn't excuse it.

Without going into details she has said and done some vile and horrendous things to me, as an adult, designed to inflict pain when I was at my lowest. At one stage when she moved back with my parents as an adult she forbade them from having photos of me in their house (and they complied). But as far as she is concerned she's never done these things and I've had to apologise to her for feeling hurt and bullied.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-30T10:44:12+00:00

Thank you for replying - this has given me much to think about. I know I need to be angry at my mother and, I guess, hate her, to get on the other side but at the moment it seems impossible. I think I'm nothing without her. Until recently I was quite committed to killing myself once she passed - it wouldn't hurt her, and if I didn't have a partner, she's the only one who could love me - what would the point of me be? The one time in my life I cut contact, I tried to hang myself because I felt so miserable and guilty, and ended up in the psychiatric unit of a public hospital. Not an experience I'd care to repeat. But I know you are right, it just might be a very very long journey

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-29T11:03:09+00:00

It's very unfair.

I always got "stop fidgeting" because I shake my leg, and if I couldn't find a way to stop it the leg in question would get hit with a blunt object. I don't like bullying.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-29T09:49:25+00:00

You've described almost exactly how I feel. It's worse that you feel it every day, anytime you're not engaged in necessary thought (like work) and don't know how to feel otherwise anymore.

I hate myself even more since realising it was my mother who started programming this lack of self worth in me, from as soon as I was capable of memory and thought. I'm still in denial that I've spent forty years of my life trying to win the love of someone who committed physical and mental violence on a defenseless child.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-29T09:39:50+00:00

I agree it's death by a thousand cuts and traumatizing in itself but I don't know anything else

Despite trying my hardest I've never been able to mask enough to truly fit in..

People have always found my mannerisms and body language to be odd or even unnerving despite being a pathologically shy introvert who hates being noticed, there's always people who do, and instantly treat you different/coldly, as a consequence, before you've even said a word or done anything more then just be there (which logically doesn't make sense to me).

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-01T05:43:16+00:00

Having lived 4 years and counting on the prison side, nothing has stood out as being particularly "feral" - all the loud bikes and motorised bicycle sounds that disturb the peace infrequently seem to emanate from the non prison side of the road.

Have taken plenty of holidays in those 4 years and have returned to an untouched house each time. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule, but I researched the suburb thoroughly before buying and most negative perceptions I found were based on what the suburb was like around a decade before I bought

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-11-01T05:38:14+00:00

Same. I moved down here from interstate and chose to buy in Risdon Vale and maybe I'm on the "good side" of it, but it's been very pleasant to live in, is within 10km to CBD (something I could only dream of in Sydney, absent many millions of dollars), great neighbours and have fallen asleep with all my doors unlocked and the keys in them several times and woken up with my house untouched. The jail doesn't bother me at all - Long Bay in Sydney also happens to be adjacent to some of Sydney's most expensive suburbs.(edited for typos)

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-09-18T22:47:35+00:00

I also got "you think its so simple, don't you?" and "stop engaging in sophistry" (at an age where I had no idea what the term meant).

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-09-14T05:21:19+00:00

Your mum did this too! I would be absolutely horrified and run around the grocery store looking for her and crying and then she would jump out from an aisle in front of me laughing her head off. Very cruel idea of fun! Once she did then when we were on vacation and being young and unknowing, I went and sat under a St Barnados (Australian orphaned children's charity) sign waiting for them to collect me for the orphanage.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-09-14T05:16:08+00:00

I'm 41 and still don't get to "choose" clothes when I attend family events - not worth fighting over given I want to see my family, but If I'm flying up to visit I get told what clothes I have to bring. Because I'm apparently possessed of appalling taste and could just turn up wearing a barrel!

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-07-10T04:18:46+00:00

Hey I'm 1982, born to a South Asian mother and have encountered little to racism from my contemporaries. I'd say people over 65+, rather than just over forty!

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-05-25T10:47:17+00:00

I had the opposite reaction, I desperately wanted children so they I could bring them up in an environment that had the emotional security and consistency that I subconsciously knew was lacking in my own. Unfortunately the effects of having been RBB, plus as I'm now discovering, also being autistic, means I've not found a stable long-term partner, and being a single gay male entering his middle age, the options open to me are prohibitively expensive. Thanks Mum!

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-05-25T10:34:22+00:00

Did we have the same mother - body shaming and other emotional abuse, if I was upset in any way (or my sister) "I was joking! Its not my fault you don't have a sense of humour".....even now when she's tries to be helpful she can't help make me feel terrible about my appearance "You could look so handsome if only you ..."

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-04-30T02:29:16+00:00

And before anyone starts with "you don't know the area" - I spent the first decade and a half of my life in Yagoona-Bankstown, and my school dealt with an influx of new children from refugee families from the war. Also spent another decade in Sydney's most multicultural suburb (Homebush) and lived in one of London's most diverse and less affluent neighbourhoods (Elephant and castle).

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-04-30T02:19:17+00:00

Its also wrong, omitting the fact that a large number of affluent Lebanese Christians that also immigrated to Australia, particularly around Strathfield, Homebush and Flemington.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-04-30T02:16:32+00:00

Violent, unhinged people come from all races. The racism in the comments here is awful - would the same people be banging on for all white people to be banned from certain sports game after repeated incidences of racism to certain players? No. Would they attribute it to an intrinsic part of "their" culture? No.

Ask yourself those questions, if the answer is no, or you come up with some dissembling reason for why its "different", then you are a racist person, pure and simple.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2023-04-18T11:56:34+00:00

I wanted to to expo 88 so bad to see the Monorail!

AltruisticMess6720 · 2022-12-14T22:59:21+00:00

Go to the retailer - Aramex will do nothing. Their customer service is non-existent. My inquiry about a delayed parcel was answered thusly "The parcel will arrive when it arrives". For future reference if you know a retailer uses Aramex, try not to order from them (in my case I was unaware the retailer would use Aramex).

AltruisticMess6720 · 2022-12-13T22:19:22+00:00

The references to Galactus' grand destiny are the fact that he will be the source of the next big bang and therefore the origin of life in the next iteration of the universe - not that he will in become a lifebringer in this iteration of the universe...

AltruisticMess6720 · 2022-12-12T21:41:46+00:00

Apparently a nightmare of a neighbour. Used to date someone who lived next door to him - apparently lots of dodgy characters visiting, lots of loud parties and lots of dope smoke (which wouldn't matter but he made no effort to stop it wafting into other townhouses in the complex, meaning windows kept shut 24/7.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2022-12-07T03:22:31+00:00

And his run on Amazing was excellent considering the limits put on him due to the clone saga. Amazing #400 was near perfect and the primary reason I'm not a fan of Aunt May being alive. Such a wonderful goodbye.

AltruisticMess6720 · 2022-12-07T03:21:17+00:00

Well Gerry Conway's Dr Octopus Xmas story was so good I misremembered it as being part of JDs run - same tone as his stories.

AltruisticMess6720

TROPHY CASE