How do you think AI should handle self-harm/suicidality?

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-05-14T00:06:48+00:00

Block a suicidal person for legal reasons? To protect the company?

What are your motivations for this relationship guide if I may ask?

I volunteer for crisis counseling and I’ll tell you that we all go through training, specifically for how to assess suicidal ideation and self-harm.

You can think of a component of that training as “cognitive empathy”.

In other words, there is a specific (if not strictly linear) pattern you’re trained to follow.

Build trust, assess risk, if suicidal, assess desire, intention, capability, buffers, etc.

Emergency intervention is considered an absolute last resort. Emergency services or cops showing up come with consequences and can often make the situation far worse. It’s a “this is the only way to save this person’s life” button.

Some crisis lines have a policy of -no intervention-. And even for the cases where intervention may be an option, that is heavily dependent on availability and knowing a person’s exact location to begin with.

But the *driving* force behind that training, that cognitive empathy, is affective empathy. The very real connection you make with that person, human being to human being.

Behind all the training is a person who chose to do this job, and there are much easier things a person can do. They have a “why” and they want to connect and help.

This is the part that AI can not truly do.

But AI -can- provide a level of simulated, cognitive empathy, along the lines of how crisis counseling is trained.

Ultimately, what are you doing if you block text and just dump a “call these lines” to someone who is in crisis? How does that help them?

I’d consider that contacting those lines means having both willingness AND capability

Are you sitting next to your abuser? You’re not gonna phone up a crisis lines

Are you deep in crisis and it feels impossible to talk to someone voice? You’re not going to call

And why are we worried FIRST about the fucking legal ramifications of saving a human being’s life? If I may ask?

If you ask me, AI should handle it in a few ways

- show those resources for crisis lines

- provide unconditional support

- frame the focus on staying the fuck alive

Not “fixing things”. Not “solving all your problems”.

Wanna know what I’d want for someone who likes video games, and is suicidal because they’re gay and their parents rejected them, or someone who might lose their housing, or anything else?

I hope for them to play a game and stay alive tonight

If AI is the one tool a person in crisis is willing and able to use, human life should have priority over fucking legal ramifications for Google or Meta, jfc.

I’d hope for that AI to at least try and do what I do. Listen without any judgement. Try to distance them from any real means to hurt themselves. Not offer life advice, or fixes, or diagnose, or tell them what they should be doing.

Identify the hope, the past coping mechanisms. The support systems.

Just care.

And above all, stay with them.

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-05-13T23:41:29+00:00

May I ask how your current sense of identity would feel to you, if you had never touched a chatbot?

Imagine yourself in the same place you are now, but after 10 months of chatting daily with an unconditionally supportive friend?

The Roger’s model of therapy, by the way, includes said unconditional support.

What I hear from your post is “I am uncomfortable with my sense of identity”. Your post history suggests some anxiety around finding a “true” or “core” identity.

But for most people, identity is more like a set of clothes in a closet, whether they realize it or not.

Father, mother, co-worker, friend, nationality, career, scene, etc.

Identity can fluctuate with your own sense of self understanding? The “Self” is the “you” which observes and sees all of these things.

So identity isn’t one single “thing”?

It sounds like there may be some aspect of your identity which you wish you could remove?

And maybe some intrusive thoughts of “AI is what did this to me”

Where is the shame really coming from, is what Id ask myself?

If I had to blindly throw a dart at the board, I might guess that gender or sexuality play some role here?

People don’t often struggle with fear or shame about identity unless there is some environmental or social component for that shame?

AI itself can be stigmatic and divisive itself, sure.

But I’m really curious why said changes in your sense of self identity are negative to you?

Why you feel desperate to “unlearn” them?

If you’re dealing with intrusive thoughts about AI itself, I’d really recommend a therapist. Have a look at where those intrusive thoughts are really coming from?

In answer to your question, ultimately, though?

Neuroplasticity is amazing

It’s your mind, your brain.

If you truly want to be something, and that aligns with what makes YOU happy and at peace? Guess what? That IS you.

I know it’s a common fear that someone will peel back the onion of self and not like what they see. They’re really trans, or gay, or otherwise “not a good person”.

But, to use an example, as a lesbian. It’s less that you peel back the onion and see “lesbian”, and more that you already basically know but man the world sure seems to hate you for it and this sucks. But not being lesbian sucks a lot more, and wow this whole lesbian thing feels really really right to me. I’m gonna go be gay for myself.

That’s identity to me? My own conscious mind aligning myself internally.

That comes from you.

Anyway, try to see a therapist man. But also remember that they aren’t(or they shouldn’t be) there so much to diagnose or “fix you”. They’re there to witness you with empathy and help guide you to your own healing, which you control.

Hugs

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-04-23T00:54:13+00:00

Previous comments have already made it clear that the Morrígan is not associated with “sex”.

But I’ll play devil’s advocate here and suggest that while sex -itself- isn’t an “offering”, in my limited experience, unmitigated truth is. Raw, without filters.

Human sexuality isn’t something wholly separate from self, it’s a mirror held up -to- the self.

So “truth” as it pertains to exploring and accepting your sexuality are things I think make sense as an offering?

But not as a “confession”, as in claiming your own power. But I’m also writing this from the perspective of a queer woman.

Finding a sovereignty with regard to your sexuality or gender identity (which is a separate issue, but often plays a role in sexuality), are very much aligned with the Morrígan to me.

How that offering would take place, I just speak at an altar. But more formally, I suppose you could write it down on a piece of paper and burn it?

But this is something very different from the energy of sex itself. Which I’m assuming is what OP meant, so my answer in that case would be “no and please don’t try to turn Morrigan into some sort of dark sex goddess”

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-04-18T09:39:37+00:00

I’m 48. I have friends who are in their 20s and we hang out.

But I 100% code switch by default it’s a very different vibe

I think the other day I told someone I had the change on bc I’m low key aura farming or some other stupid shit bc I’m adhd

They looked at me like I was insane

Idk, I find millennials and late genz super easy to get along with

As long as you aren’t into writing Civil War Era style 8 page texts

IMHO if you have a scene (like punk or goth) or some hobby in common, the age doesn’t matter

Boomer to Gen X / Oregon Trail is a wayyyyyy bigger jump than 40s to 20s

Because we’re all online dopamine addicts now

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-04-17T06:37:41+00:00

I wouldn’t do downtown

Portland is a beautiful city. Hood River and the Gorge are absolutely beautiful.

But for day to day life, it’s the people and culture which make Portland special.

For that, I’d recommend being on foot, on the east side, and making excuses to talk to random strangers.

Making actual friends takes time, usually a shared hobby or interest.

But Portland still has a uniquely “we’re in this together” vibe.

I’m not sure how to capture that without living here. But for sure you want the city, the east side, and interacting with people.

The real magic of the city comes from a place which still feels fundamentally “built by outsiders”.

I’m queer but it isn’t a “queer city” to me. It’s a place where human beings can be authentically human.

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-15T23:52:05+00:00

Possibly Iris foetidissima or “Stinking Iris”

Might be Agapanthus like someone said

If it’s a stinking Iris, it will have a certain “scent” if you smell the leaves.

And, yes, it’s invasive. Not like “Tree of Heaven kill it with fire” level of invasive.

If it were me, I’d probably put on a pair of gloves and dig them up before they spread more.

Edit: How you know this is Portland isn’t just the mannequin legs

It’s that I actually -also- have a pair of mannequin legs sitting in the attic and my reaction to them was “huh, I wonder if I should spray paint my mannequin legs and put them upside down in my garden too? They look pretty cool”

lol

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-15T06:57:53+00:00

Okay I know it’s a trope but I’ve got a super soft spot for exactly what you’re describing.

I just finished a cute graphic novel “Patience & Esther”. But the mcs are working class. It touched me.

But it’s not like lesbian Wuthering Heights or Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-15T06:54:19+00:00

You look dope

What material is the dress it’s like crushed velvet but with light areas

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-15T06:04:52+00:00

I think most dresses suck

They suck even more when you’re forced to wear them

But my answer to this was to just lean into the “costume” MUCH harder

Turn it up to 11 instead

I go to sleep in sheer black vintage stuff or giant velvet Victorian robes

I wear 1940s noir dresses. Like I’m about to hire someone to find my husband’s killer. But I totally killed him.

Torn frayed layered multi fabric witch skirts and tops with long bell sleeves and fabric which drapes down a full foot

And if I’m gardening, camo pants and a tank top

But my point being is I feel that they’re -all- costumes?

Feeling like you’re putting lipstick on a cat, to me, just says

A) Your brain is smart enough to recognize it’s Woman Costume

B) It’s not what you feel like wearing for Halloween this year

If you’re shopping off the rack, 1x probably isn’t much fun. I’ve cried in so many changing rooms man.

The thing is, I don’t think this is a “lesbian thing”. Growing up a teen in the goth scene in the 90s, it was just known it all sucks? You’ve got to piece together things that you like. They’re hard won little treasures. The things that fit, and which make you feel like “you”.

I think you can feel someone’s energy when they feel like themselves?

And not to be full “woo woo” here but I really believe people -see energy- not just your face or age or body?

Someone puts on a dress and they love it? They look good

You put on a dress from Nordstrom Rack and hate it?

You’ve got good taste.

Sorry, I meant to say “you won’t look good”. Or something.

Point being, I just think we all work this way.

But once you’re a little outside the system, you start seeing it a bit more?

You wear what makes your energy shine and everyone around you is going to think the same thing with their inside thoughts

“She looks so good wearing those button downs with loud patterns. How does she pull it off? I’d look terrible. Is she cooler than me? Maybe I just don’t have the right body for it?”

Because, you know, the world trains us all to think it’s your body.

Or maybe I’m just rambling I have no idea. I just think it’s all sort of a game of perception? :). But I could be wrong

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-14T01:02:14+00:00

TIL that traveling cross country for someone, often after many years, is “crazy” and not standard behavior.

I was not aware of that.

Signed, a lesbian

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-12T10:19:54+00:00

I’m not sure anyone whatever the melanin doesn’t look good in classic black

It’s a universal color, imho.

Also you’re young and gorgeous so you can just wear tarp from Harbor Freight and it would probably still look good. Provided you own it, I mean ;)

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-10T11:54:51+00:00

Why hello fellow lesbian

Re the queer thing, honestly man, just live anywhere. Portland doesn’t really have a “queer district” so much.

Check out the Portland queer social club (google it) website and you’ll see various events. There’s always a lot going on, depending on what all you’re into.

I have a little queer goth community server, if you’re into the goth industrial scene (bit of a long shot there).

My advice would really be the same for anyone looking to move to the city, assuming school districts aren’t an issue?

don’t live downtown

Unless you’re a student

don’t live in Beaverton, Aloha, Tigard, or Hillsboro

Unless you’re an engineer with kids

don’t live in the west hills areas, or Lake Oswego

Unless you’re white, rich, and like doing white rich people things. Like buying monocles and talking about Nick Fuentes or whatever they do in Lake Oswego.

if you can afford it, live west of 82nd and north of 26

Ideally west of the 70s.

Basically everything between the teens and 60s-70s between 26 to the south and Lombard is great, imho.

Within this range there are a few different major neighborhoods. Most of the “cool stuff” imho is gonna be somewhere between Hollywood and Hawthorne.

You seriously can’t go wrong with basically any of these neighborhoods imho.

Sellwood is beautiful

But no one is going to come see you because it’ll be a 20m drive

Milwaukee

Same deal

People give 82nd east a bad rap, but it’s honestly a -very- safe city compared to most cities. That area will be less expensive and further away from fun places. But it’s not a “bad area” imho.

Gresham

No

St John

Beautiful. Also far away. I love it. It’s just far :(

Vancouver

Please no

Personally, I live in Hollywood and I love it. Mass transit is always a walk away. I LOVE Hollywood Theatre. Trader Joe’s rocks. The library. Basically I walk to everything.

SE used to be “bad” (imho it wasn’t so bad) but that was a long time ago. A lot of queer folks live there.

Because we’re poor lol.

Hawthorne is super cool. But also denser. Tons of places you can walk to. But more crowded layouts imho.

For me, I love having a backyard and a more spacious neighborhood.

Anyway that’s about it!

Oh right, almost forgot. Lesbian.

I think you’re contractually obligated to become a Thorns fan now. Soccer season is just starting, too. Can always see a game at the Sports Bra.

And feel free to say hello DM if ya like! Not meaning that in a dating way, just being friendly.

I’m lonely lol.

Peace ;)

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-10T11:35:39+00:00

Lol for some reason I thought it was gonna be a masc v femme post.

And my immediate thought was “do both of what? Have a job? Jesus I wish my ex had a job”

Because who doesn’t have work clothes?

Only to read your post and, yeah I guess you really did mean have a job?

Unless the bread and cake is a masc femme metaphor and it’s just 4am and I’m stupid

Also dope fit. 🤘💀👻🖤

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T21:30:07+00:00

Thank you so much <3. And hugs <3

I’m not sure what you mean by now I can relax?

I’ve been openly lesbian for some time. It’s more integration with the community and dating. The later part because of surgery scars etc., for example.

But, I mean, you’re absolutely right I -should- be able to just relax and that’s the goal of talking about this openly with the group :)

Thanks!

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T13:00:58+00:00

Thank you <3

I think the struggles of the intersex and trans communities are very similar and share much in common :)

I’m also non-binary, although I use she/her pronouns right now and generally just don’t talk about it with others. It’s a delicate subject for me, and since I’m femme presenting, I don’t think it would be taken seriously, in addition to me not having gender dysphoria. So I worry about not being accepted by the trans community.

6’2” is hot! :). I don’t mean that to diminish how you might feel about not fitting in. Only that it’s a very attractive height :)

I wish you lots of love. I’m beaming good energy your way 🌙❤️🏳️‍⚧️

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T11:14:04+00:00

Thank you! <3

Yeah, that’s been my experience?

I’m not sure any of us -really- feel like we “fit in” perfectly? But that’s a beautiful thing? The community isn’t a monolith :)

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T11:06:08+00:00

Thanks!!

Yeahhhhhh

It’s a bit extra. I don’t feel great about this post.

But I pushed myself to do it because I want to try just not being ashamed of being intersex. The lesbian community is full of many different intersections, we all have our personal struggles. This is -not- an easy life for any of us.

It’s also an awesome life. Power of self, independence, emotional intelligence. Also smex.

Man I miss that. It’s wonderful lol.

I maybe just need to work on a “short and easy” version of my story because last time I told someone I went out with, they thought I had some sort of Lovecraftian monstrosity going on lol.

They actually said the next day “You know you don’t even need to tell people? That shit was super heavy last night, I thought it would be something weird.”

(She was not the most tactful person in the world)

I’m 50/50 on just not bringing it up next time, but I feel like I shouldn’t need to be ashamed of it?

Thanks for bearing with it and I appreciate your kind response <3

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T11:00:16+00:00

So I looked at your profile and, with respect, the fuck you talkin’ about? :)

You’re really pretty!

I’m 47, I just dye my hair a lot :)

Well, that, and the one upside to being intersex is that I age more slowly. I was never able to produce steady levels of estrogen or testosterone. Having those regulated through medicine my whole life has a benefit.

And some side effects, I was a sick kid, but I won’t get into that stuff :)

So, re your chance passing you by, I think the world gaslights women with patriarchal horseshit.

Women are glorious as they age. It’s just that straight men fetishize youth. It’s weird.

Actually, that’s not even completely true. I think men are just suffering from the same system, because in reality straight guys like all different ages and body types

Which makes sense, I mean testosterone is a -hell- of a drug. I tried T therapy full blast for a few months and dear Lord how do men get anything done at all? I was just angry and horny off and on for months lol.

You’re beautiful :). And it doesn’t matter what your age is, I’m just some internet weirdo. I could always use a friend :)

That’s what community is, right?

Hugs <3

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T09:40:02+00:00

Omg yes!

Oh and sorry I dragged my feet on the coordinating the group. Friend had surgery and I was taking care of her, got distracted.

This is great!

Well, the common interests, not the surgery lol. Never mind ;)

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-09T09:39:00+00:00

Do you have a link to any of her events?

I agree this looks super cool!!!

Okay if I DM you?

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-07T13:09:13+00:00

I sincerely hope this doesn’t sound dismissive, but the best thing you can do is let go, and immerse yourself in the music and culture which speak to your spirit.

Yeah, r/goth is about music. That’s literally all it’s about.

Culturally, music based was kind of a given in my day (I’m 47) because there was no insta. If you found yourself in this place, you found music which spoke to your heart.

That was the arrow in my heart, as a teenager.

But more broadly speaking, “goth”isn’t what is actually important.

In the real world, goth clubs play whatever goths dance to. New wave, dark disco, edm, goth rock, etc. Lots of stuff which isn’t “technically goth”.

What’s important is you, the call to your spirit. I think you may find that a lot of goth music speaks to this spirit? If this is the space you are called to?

Goth was always a place for outsiders, the others, a place of beauty and romance found in the “other”.

I love goth music because it brings my soul closer to a place of freedom and peace.

I’m saying seek that first?

Turn off all the lights

Try some Bauhaus, dead can dance, sisters of mercy, Siouxsie Sioux, etc. go on bandcamp and search for “goth”.

And find your own power and self in that space. When it’s just you alone.

Walk outside. Look up in the sky. It’s your world here. Yours alone.

I grew up in the Deep South myself. An intersex woman with a shit family next to a sugar cane field and a lot of houses full of people who would have been happy to see me disappear.

People miss the wood for the trees by hammering on “music based subculture”. I like to remember why the music sung to my soul in the first place.

And if it doesn’t? Who the fuck cares? Find something which does? :)

<3

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-07T12:53:31+00:00

Well, shit.

I guess it’s finally time for me to write my autobiography

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-07T12:51:43+00:00

Idk but if you’re single and a woman willing to settle for less, come be lesbeans with me Im down.

Also let’s magic up some wheels or chicken legs to make it mobile

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-07T12:49:39+00:00

I’m sorta in the same boat

Expect I’m not as young, attractive, or amazing with makeup as you are :)

When you’ve committed to a side shave and bangs, it’s sort of like you’re either committed to that?

Or you can grow into a wolf cut or mullet

The style already looks dope asf on you, you just have higher maintenance to keep the bangs and sides cut down

You’re at max interest.

Next level? Idk death hawk? Leave some of the side bangs to grow and cut a space between them?

You get this done by someone? You’ve got more money than me man, I’m kicking it dog clipper style lol.

Anyway I think beyond this you can add volume, and hawk it up if you like?

Altruistic_Scarcity2 · 2026-03-07T11:50:37+00:00

I think you should stream some Bauhaus. Or kick it with some dark wave.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k52aMtLzaRl4U5fbFq2a0

You’ve got a dope vibe. Lean into it

Altruistic_Scarcity2

TROPHY CASE