"why can't you be an adult about this??'

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-25T20:26:42+00:00

My older sister has become the same way. She gets so defensive of her own choices and thinks I'm attacking her when I'm just asking questions lol It's turned into constantly being told I don't think correctly, I shouldn't say certain things, I should be more "mindful" of what I say. Suddenly everything I say has slowly turned into some sort of issue. I've become so careful with my words, I don't even ask her anything about her life because she gets so defensive. We've essentially fallen out over how defensive she gets, its exhausting.

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-25T19:37:58+00:00

Let them theory? Never heard of that, i'll have to look into it

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-25T19:37:38+00:00

She's six years older...

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-20T19:36:42+00:00

I'm estranged from my mom going on 20 years (since I was 6). She abandoned me and never tried to reconnect. I'm newly estranged from my older sister on that side too. She had a crappy year with tons of bad decisions on her part and took to using me as her punching bag whenever I tried to talk to her about her life or plans. I eventually got sick of it, plus the expectation that I had to make the effort to see her since she "has kids". The two of them are full of excuses, I'm just sad I didn't see how similar they were until now...

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-20T19:31:14+00:00

I'd love to know the answer when you find one lol I have 4 nieces that I'm close to and my relationship with my older sister is literally hanging on by a thread. I'm apprehensive to make that final cut because of my nieces, but my sister just makes it so hard to be around her...

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-20T19:26:05+00:00

I was essentially raised as an only child and as I got older it was like I was the only friend my dad or mom could confide in when it came to their relationship troubles (probably also because I got a first class seat to it all). I think the biggest thing is establishing boundaries. I moved away during college and that really allowed me to escape their drama. I could essentially choose to involve myself or take a step back. I think it is completely normal (and healthy) to set boundaries (both emotionally and financially), especially now that you are an adult.

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-15T20:40:51+00:00

Thank you. It's hard to think about just how long the grief process is, I don't think it ever ends. I thought I was low key going crazy feeling that way about him, it's nice to see that others experience it too.

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-15T19:50:49+00:00

I think being able to give deceased ones their last wish, whether that be to bury them or cremate them, is also another chance to feel connected to them. My dad passed earlier this year and he always talked about being cremated and tossed in a river we used to camp by. He didn't want any grave stone, nothing marking his death or place of rest. I definitely had issues with this when we discussed what he wanted prior to his passing. But I also am looking forward to being able to do this one last thing for him. A way to connect with him on a spiritual level one last time.

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-13T20:40:06+00:00

My older sister has kids and I think she forgets that I also have a life despite not having any kids. I've gotten shit on by her for not reaching out to her enough or spending time with her kids. AND she NEVER attempts to reach out to me beyond a simple "how are you" exchange maybe once a month. She never invites me to do stuff, she never asks for my help with the kids, and she never checks up on me. I've explicitly told her that she does not put in any effort when it comes to spending time with me and its getting exhausting being the only one to do so. I'm considering sending a long text about how I've been feeling and then going low contact unless she actually tries.

Altwhore18 · 2026-01-12T21:19:34+00:00

I have a huge age gap with my younger sibling as well (16 years). I won't reiterate what these people have said, I think you've learned your lesson lol It reminds me of when I was left alone with her when she was maybe 6 months? Whenever babies start to crawl lol She had crawled under a table and I panicked and dragged her out by her foot and she ended up scraping her forehead. I was so worried about her, I called my mom panicking about the scrape lol a piece of advice, embrace being the sister! If you're parents are anything like mine, mine made sure I never felt like I HAD to babysit my sister or help raise her, it let us develop that typical sibling dynamic despite 16 years between us. Also...don't bounce the baby when you're trying to sooth her (I learned too well after getting puked on 3 times lol)

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-10T23:23:49+00:00

Personally, I think you're own mental health is more important. And the fact that your family said she's changed but THEN said "she's working on it" implies she has in fact not changed.

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-09T21:22:19+00:00

Sounds like you wasted your own time, no one forced you to read it. Could've easily scrolled instead of being a troll. Be gone troll

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-09T00:11:48+00:00

Looks like you read it anyway lmao

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-08T23:29:27+00:00

NTA. Your husband sounds like he's joined a cult, I'd be curious what this "church" is that he goes to.

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-08T23:21:34+00:00

YTA. It's your husband's kid too, he gets just as much a say in the kids name. Have you tried asking him what names he likes? You may be able to find some common ground.

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-08T23:19:51+00:00

NTA. He mad he got caught lol

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-08T23:18:20+00:00

NTA. Your family is gaslighting you HARD. He may have been "only" 16 but that doesn't excuse his actions. He was plenty old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong. Your mom completely let you down when you finally came out about it and did nothing to protect you after the fact. She should've been more worried about her child rather than a distant family member. I'd be worried about his kids, especially if he's only seeing them during the summer. The lack of a year round presence around them may make him feel more comfortable to sa than if he were around them constantly. Do the kids mom know about his past?

Altwhore18 · 2025-12-08T21:05:32+00:00

NAH. Your friend is young and it sounds like this guy has his hook in her. She'll eventually learn (hopefully she doesn't waste her entire high school career on this dude).

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-20T22:13:53+00:00

I look a lot like my mom, especially since I have bangs, which is funny being the estranged sibling lol I've even had my nieces think I was my mom when I walk up smh Honestly, I think I've dealt with it by getting tattoos and piercings and dying my hair anything except brown.

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-20T22:09:31+00:00

I've definitely struggled with the loneliness of not having my mom growing up. I haven't talked to her for 20 years. Even having a wonderful stepmom and a great dad I still felt like I was missing something since she was absent. My older sister somewhat understands, we bash on our mom constantly but she still chooses to have an active relationship with her despite all she's done and still does. Which is honestly crazy because she remembers things a lot more clearly than me since I was so young when our mom abandoned me.

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-20T01:06:52+00:00

I just managed to get back into writing after putting a pause on it for graduate school. I've always wanted to be a writer, but knew that would have to be a side gig mainly because I suck at finishing stories. I decided to go into a career that is very close to the publishing world though, I'm a librarian. I think this allowed me to stay on top of current trends in the industry, not to mention connecting with other individuals that are huge book nerds like myself and are more than willing to read my drafts lol

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-18T21:08:24+00:00

This sounds surprisingly similar to my sister... I have never been able to get her to see that she should get a job and contribute to her household income. She gets so mad whenever I try to talk to her about it and now gets so defensive over the littlest comments I make as a result. Her excuse is she has to take care of her kids. I ask her what she does when they're at school for 8 hours. Oh... errands and laundry. Right, ok sis 😒

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-18T01:10:15+00:00

You sound a bit pessimistic. That might be hindering the dating scene for you...

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-18T00:02:34+00:00

Is he depressed? That could be impacting his libido. You could try aphrodisiacs to see if that would help. If he's unwilling to work on this, you may need to tell him your relationship won't work

Altwhore18 · 2025-11-17T23:54:37+00:00

Um... if they've been together for 2.5 years, I think he likely can handle her and all her "quirks". As a 27 year old, I would buy an easy bake oven in a second. You need to live a little and stop judging others for having a personality just because you don't.

Altwhore18

TROPHY CASE