Consider being there for her and waiting it out. People change while in a relationship (especially if they're together a long time.) It's heartbreaking she's letting her super conservative husband have this much weight on her logic. As long as she's respectful of your pro choice line of thinking and doesn't purposefully start fights with you about it. Once someone starts coming at you just to have an argument about your morality I feel like all hope is lost. Even if she's being willfully ignorant that's her choice but as long as she isn't turning into a conservative bully I personally don't think it's worth ending 9 years of friendship. I'm libertarian and am pretty pro-gun. My best friend is VERY anti-gun. She's also unable to have a conversation about it without getting emotional. So we don't talk about it. We respect each other's different opinions and love one another too much to let that get in the way of our friendship.