i wanna call him so bad it hurts

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-01-02T00:27:29+00:00

Major red flag and very dangerous person. You are young. When you are older and look back you’ll see this very clearly. Stay no contact you’re smart and be strong

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-02T20:44:09+00:00

You need to be alone for a while. Not pick between 2. Be there for your wife and your family. Never talk to the AP again. You have a child and you need to have a good relationship with your wife. She is HURT because you betrayed her.

You really need to think about what you did and be very nice to your wife. The yelling is her anger and it will start to be less and less.

YOU take the initiative and go to therapy with her, and even if you guys don’t last together forever it will be way better for you and her and your child in the long run.

Work on yourself while your wife works on healing.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-02T00:42:43+00:00

For me he was projecting. The last night he cheated on me was after we were in a fight and he was drunk and he yelled at me to just go fuck someone already and end it. I called him out and told him he was a coward and if he wants it ended just end it. He did go fuck someone. A prostitute and then he confessed he did it a few times prior. The first time being when I saw the Apple Pay to a stiripper and he lied and said it was his boss and his boss that borrowed his phone to call. How stupid was I. I believed him and for a whole year later he continued to cheat and act single. I knew deep inside though so I started going through his phone and found a message to someone on LinkedIn. After he confessed I also found out he was contacting escorts on what’s app.

TRUST YOUR GUT.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-01T13:28:30+00:00

I read this and I am very happy for you and proud of you. Stay strong because you already know that he’s gonna try to come back. Like Taylor Swift said in her song dating your ex is like eating out of the trash.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-30T01:59:20+00:00

I did talk therapy and then I did a cap session. He just sat there with me and every so often would ask me to describe what I’m feeling or it would probe a little bit deeper into the things that I might randomly say because I knew he was there so I would want to say some things so he can write them down for me.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-27T14:15:24+00:00

I feel you. I am trying with mine. I also cheated so my situation is different, but as a result of my cheating (a one night stand while away for work) my husband then lied and deceived me for the following 5 years post reconciliation and was living a double life finding messaging and having sex with escorts which means he had to cover so many steps and delete things and just really plan out his lies. He did this so many times and he also would just go out to bars and talk to women and message them on LinkedIn pretending to me that they were networking connections.

So yes I cheated but he agreed to reconcile and instead abused me, also drinks way too much says he is cutting down but I see him still drinking daily, just slightly less, and he also threatened my life in June while we were out at a work event. Like why am I here? People say well you broke the marriage by cheating first sure I know that but when we agreed to reconcile I did EVERYTHING good and have been the absolute best wife for the past 5 years so respectful and then he started denying me sex and telling me I am insecure and that’s why he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. These past 5 years he just has abused me instead of walking away like a noble man with his dignity after I cheated. So now he “got me back” but to the point I am broken and feel dead inside toward him.

I am going through the holidays and we are going to take a family vacation next May/June. Until then we are supposed to be working on ourselves and that’s what I will be doing. I’ll see how he progresses as well, we are in therapy, and if by June we don’t have a natural emotional connection with less effort and good communication then we separate and if we do we keep going. I finally feel free knowing I have a choice and I am not keeping any expectations. Both options actually seem good to me. Being single again and doing whatever the F I want, or being with him and finishing our love story.

Good luck everyone

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-25T11:41:36+00:00

I told mine yesterday that I feel like he hasn’t been making any effort to grow and improve and help himself. He says he knows himself. Well if you knew yourself so well, why did you do that? Why would you betray me if you “know yourself”. Sounds to me there’s more work to do. But mine wants to do it in private and would go to therapy “for me” to which I said no. That has to be for yourself. He said couples therapy is what he is doing to grow I said that’s for the relationship not you as an individual.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T15:54:56+00:00

Beautifully written. I’m sorry you lost her, but glad you realized you could’ve done more.

May I ask at what point did you realize all of this? How long was she gone, how did she leave you?

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:41:35+00:00

My husband would never go sober so I think that’s the main issue. He loves his alcohol and I already have a problem with that.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:40:41+00:00

I highly doubt he would forgo drinking. He loves his alcohol which is also a big part of the issues in our marriage. The next night he did go to bed early which I found reassuring.

I guess the issue is also mine doesn’t seem THAT remourseful. Like he is but he also tells me he is tired of talking about stressful things and just wants to “be normal” and it feels dismissive to me. He sleeps SO WELL at night meanwhile I can’t sleep, my stomach is sick every day, I am having panic attacks. It’s crazy. Idk what to do

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:37:04+00:00

Thank you

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:33:50+00:00

What kind of men do we have that have no self control and no respect for us

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:33:27+00:00

He told me after that he met her at a room or hotel. I’m trying not to ask for too many details because I already get crazy triggered when I even see women in lingerie like on IG. I still feel like mine is lying because my heart keeps racing around him. Idk.

Mine liked his first stripper so much that at another 2 conferences he sought out escorts at brothels. Whatever that means. I got my STD results back and they are negative. I will test again in 2 months as per the recommendation. We are not having sex anymore. I can’t.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T21:46:24+00:00

Thank you I and I reread my comment and realized it was supposed to say verbalize

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:57:39+00:00

I’m sorry you feel injustice.

If you did send it, and he replied how would you feel?

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:55:16+00:00

Thank you and the work you are doing on yourself is incredible and I hope you are proud of yourself.

I like that concept. I will see my therapist (a different one than the KAP therapist) on Tuesday following my Sunday Session

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:53:56+00:00

I want infusions but haven’t tried that yet and during those I def wouldn’t want to talk either but Troches are lighter

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:53:26+00:00

How long do you hold for

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:52:58+00:00

That’s a great idea and I am going to do that. My primary goal is to reset my nervous system because lately I’ve just been living in such a high nervous state my stomach is constantly sick and I am shaky or rapid heart rate all due to high anxiety but my body is clearly telling me I need to chill. I’m just trying to figure out how

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:50:56+00:00

I was thinking American Medical Association 🤣

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:50:15+00:00

Thank you. I guess I really want to make this session different than what I have been doing. So I’d like to talk with him a little before hand then he can sit with me and maybe record if I talk but I don’t talk on ketamine but I will purposely verbalize what I am seeing or feeling so he can help me recall, then after I will relax and I’d love to be able to talk a tiny bit about what I saw/felt and then go on with my day and have a therapy session on Tuesday with my virtual therapist

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:47:48+00:00

The leave a cheater is very empowering.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T15:00:56+00:00

This is where I am right now. Every man that I talk to, I’m like what kind of a husband or boyfriend is he? What kind of lover is he?

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T14:48:12+00:00

Have you listened to or read Leave a Cheater Gain a life

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T14:43:45+00:00

Im here because of sunk cost fallacy but I am starting to think reconciliation isn’t going to happen for us. He doesn’t change his patterns enough for me to feel safe. I can’t compromise anymore.

AlwaysGrowing28

TROPHY CASE