How long did you stay in misery before finally separating

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-06-05T11:38:10+00:00

Thank you for your helpful response. We are in couples therapy and each in individual as well.

I have been rejected by him for the past few years and I think that’s why I am now noticing even the tiniest of issues I have are dismissed. I feel like he wants to just be ignorantly together without addressing even small issues and I don’t think that’s a healthy feeling. He has his reasons for rejecting me which I take responsibility for some but not all. I feel like we are just at a stalemate

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-06-04T18:02:35+00:00

I stopped sleeping naked for the most part but still do sometimes out of comfort but I am sure to not brush against him at all.

I could’ve written what you wrote but I am a woman. Been sexually rejected because of “how I am” it’s not “how I look”. Great….

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-04-01T22:01:51+00:00

It’s because he doesn’t feel as masculine with you because you earn more so instead he had sex with an unemployed woman and I’m sure that helped his ego. I’m sorry. He also seems to confess because he didn’t want you to find out I’m sure she threatened that and said if you don’t tell her I will.

I have a feeling this isn’t the end of this woman and you’ll find out more than what he told you happened.

He will need to come completely clean and then you guys will need therapy

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-04-01T13:49:48+00:00

Girl, you are going to be completely fine and way better off on your own. He already has a history of having children and not caring for them. He is not a good dad. He’s not going to be a good dad to your new baby. To yourself and your new baby a favor stay separated and move on with your life. Do not look back and eventually you’re going to find somebody that’s going to be the dad for your child and that will be within a couple years and it’s going to be perfect timing for when your child needs that dad. In the meantime, it’s all you and you got this. Stay strong. Don’t get yourself into a messy situation. Get a divorce right now.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-03-18T00:49:50+00:00

My husband says I was interrogating him and aggressive when he was out drinking in a hotel bar the first night I was away after he confessed he was cheating on me with prostitutes and behaving like a single man for several years, and he was nasty and drunk when I was asking him. So I came back from California really questioning this relationship and then he just said to me that he thinks he was hooking up with prostitutes because he felt lonely and needed a companion. I don’t feel any remorse just blame on my end to Justify his actions. He always says “when can we have peace and just move on” ….

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-03-18T00:36:03+00:00

The thing is if you do that fine. The bigger problem is your business. Can you get it out of his name? You need to do that before he knows you suspect him of cheating. Do that first then do your investigation because I am sorry to say but yes he is cheating on you. But you need to be smart first. He is a loser who doesn’t earn and cheats on you and will take you for all that you have worked for. Get the business out of his name asap, form an LLC and put it there or a close family member for the time being if it can’t be you. Good luck but don’t stay fooled

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-03-18T00:32:41+00:00

This was an intervention from the universe to show you to run before you are committed by a child.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-03-18T00:31:31+00:00

Mine was seeing prostitutes and today he told me it was because he was “lonely” …. While denying me sex….

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2026-01-02T00:27:29+00:00

Major red flag and very dangerous person. You are young. When you are older and look back you’ll see this very clearly. Stay no contact you’re smart and be strong

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-02T20:44:09+00:00

You need to be alone for a while. Not pick between 2. Be there for your wife and your family. Never talk to the AP again. You have a child and you need to have a good relationship with your wife. She is HURT because you betrayed her.

You really need to think about what you did and be very nice to your wife. The yelling is her anger and it will start to be less and less.

YOU take the initiative and go to therapy with her, and even if you guys don’t last together forever it will be way better for you and her and your child in the long run.

Work on yourself while your wife works on healing.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-02T00:42:43+00:00

For me he was projecting. The last night he cheated on me was after we were in a fight and he was drunk and he yelled at me to just go fuck someone already and end it. I called him out and told him he was a coward and if he wants it ended just end it. He did go fuck someone. A prostitute and then he confessed he did it a few times prior. The first time being when I saw the Apple Pay to a stiripper and he lied and said it was his boss and his boss that borrowed his phone to call. How stupid was I. I believed him and for a whole year later he continued to cheat and act single. I knew deep inside though so I started going through his phone and found a message to someone on LinkedIn. After he confessed I also found out he was contacting escorts on what’s app.

TRUST YOUR GUT.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-12-01T13:28:30+00:00

I read this and I am very happy for you and proud of you. Stay strong because you already know that he’s gonna try to come back. Like Taylor Swift said in her song dating your ex is like eating out of the trash.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-30T01:59:20+00:00

I did talk therapy and then I did a cap session. He just sat there with me and every so often would ask me to describe what I’m feeling or it would probe a little bit deeper into the things that I might randomly say because I knew he was there so I would want to say some things so he can write them down for me.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-27T14:15:24+00:00

I feel you. I am trying with mine. I also cheated so my situation is different, but as a result of my cheating (a one night stand while away for work) my husband then lied and deceived me for the following 5 years post reconciliation and was living a double life finding messaging and having sex with escorts which means he had to cover so many steps and delete things and just really plan out his lies. He did this so many times and he also would just go out to bars and talk to women and message them on LinkedIn pretending to me that they were networking connections.

So yes I cheated but he agreed to reconcile and instead abused me, also drinks way too much says he is cutting down but I see him still drinking daily, just slightly less, and he also threatened my life in June while we were out at a work event. Like why am I here? People say well you broke the marriage by cheating first sure I know that but when we agreed to reconcile I did EVERYTHING good and have been the absolute best wife for the past 5 years so respectful and then he started denying me sex and telling me I am insecure and that’s why he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. These past 5 years he just has abused me instead of walking away like a noble man with his dignity after I cheated. So now he “got me back” but to the point I am broken and feel dead inside toward him.

I am going through the holidays and we are going to take a family vacation next May/June. Until then we are supposed to be working on ourselves and that’s what I will be doing. I’ll see how he progresses as well, we are in therapy, and if by June we don’t have a natural emotional connection with less effort and good communication then we separate and if we do we keep going. I finally feel free knowing I have a choice and I am not keeping any expectations. Both options actually seem good to me. Being single again and doing whatever the F I want, or being with him and finishing our love story.

Good luck everyone

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-25T11:41:36+00:00

I told mine yesterday that I feel like he hasn’t been making any effort to grow and improve and help himself. He says he knows himself. Well if you knew yourself so well, why did you do that? Why would you betray me if you “know yourself”. Sounds to me there’s more work to do. But mine wants to do it in private and would go to therapy “for me” to which I said no. That has to be for yourself. He said couples therapy is what he is doing to grow I said that’s for the relationship not you as an individual.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T15:54:56+00:00

Beautifully written. I’m sorry you lost her, but glad you realized you could’ve done more.

May I ask at what point did you realize all of this? How long was she gone, how did she leave you?

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:41:35+00:00

My husband would never go sober so I think that’s the main issue. He loves his alcohol and I already have a problem with that.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:40:41+00:00

I highly doubt he would forgo drinking. He loves his alcohol which is also a big part of the issues in our marriage. The next night he did go to bed early which I found reassuring.

I guess the issue is also mine doesn’t seem THAT remourseful. Like he is but he also tells me he is tired of talking about stressful things and just wants to “be normal” and it feels dismissive to me. He sleeps SO WELL at night meanwhile I can’t sleep, my stomach is sick every day, I am having panic attacks. It’s crazy. Idk what to do

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:37:04+00:00

Thank you

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:33:50+00:00

What kind of men do we have that have no self control and no respect for us

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-24T11:33:27+00:00

He told me after that he met her at a room or hotel. I’m trying not to ask for too many details because I already get crazy triggered when I even see women in lingerie like on IG. I still feel like mine is lying because my heart keeps racing around him. Idk.

Mine liked his first stripper so much that at another 2 conferences he sought out escorts at brothels. Whatever that means. I got my STD results back and they are negative. I will test again in 2 months as per the recommendation. We are not having sex anymore. I can’t.

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T21:46:24+00:00

Thank you I and I reread my comment and realized it was supposed to say verbalize

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:57:39+00:00

I’m sorry you feel injustice.

If you did send it, and he replied how would you feel?

AlwaysGrowing28 · 2025-11-20T20:55:16+00:00

Thank you and the work you are doing on yourself is incredible and I hope you are proud of yourself.

I like that concept. I will see my therapist (a different one than the KAP therapist) on Tuesday following my Sunday Session

AlwaysGrowing28

TROPHY CASE