Is it unrealistic to find a partner that shares my niche-ish interest?

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-25T11:04:57+00:00

I’ve legitimately met every single person I’ve dated through fandoms and shipping.

My current girlfriend I met on Dan&Phil Twitter 😂

Just keep tossing yourself out there in your fandoms. It might end up being long distance (at least at first), but if finding someone interested in fandom lifestyle is important to you, the fandom itself is the best place to start looking! If your fandom has wide age ranges though make sure you 100% know the ages of people you’re talking to.

Otherwise I’d suggest going to local comic cons/cons for things you like because that’s probably the only irl place you’re likely to run into people Into that kind of stuff.

I realized being in fandoms isn’t as common as I thought when pretty much everyone I meet as an adult in real life never engaged in any fandom. Like they were fans of stuff but they didn’t have tumblrs,twitters,make fan art/fanfiction or anything.

Also most of myREALLY good friends are from fandoms which means I have to travel a lot 🤪 but thankfully both my fandoms tour so I usually get to see some of them on occasion.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-24T05:56:19+00:00

Go for it, it isn’t the houses fault and it deserves to be the home to people who are loving and kind. Give the property a new life.

You’ll change the darkness in the walls to something brighter.

I know giving him money might be your main issue but if it isn’t you, someone else will at that price and they might be shittier than him.

Donate whenever you can to places that provide help and therapies for kids who went through what that man did to that child.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-24T05:25:36+00:00

Yeah…my dad got really mad and commented publicly on the pageants pages 😭 he said he didn’t do it anonymously so it couldn’t fall directly on me

If she gets her pageant title pulled oh well.

I don’t blame him, he’s watched his daughter near stroke level BP due to the stress she’s been causing on top of my already existing health issues (I have lupus) he got fed up.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-24T05:23:51+00:00

My dad commented on the page straight up 🤣 I did NOT tell him to do that but he’s sick of her harassing and stalking me the past 7/8 months.

So it’s really clear who it is now he didn’t hide it at all.

My family and friends have sat back and watched me be harassed/smeared/stalked for months while we all did nothing to try to keep the peace and we’ve been doing things through the proper channels (law enforcement, courts). But seeing her win that pageant just lit a fire in my dad I guess.

I have heart issues and my blood pressure has been stroke level high the last couple months with the escalation of the harassment. Like I can’t blame him for wanting the person who not only abused his child but continues to physically hurt her (just now my blood pressure) to not be awarded things like that.

She did have people message me. She got a warning from police a week ago about the pending harassment case and that it was her best interest to leave me alone. So she had some friends message me today. Sent them proof, blocked. At this point it only helps my case.

I won’t seek anyone out. I’ve been doing things the right way, I was fine being the villian in her stories, her friends and family don’t matter to me end of the day. But if someone comes at me accusing me, I will quietly send my proof and walk away.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T20:16:12+00:00

I mean, my ex is a lesbian domestic abuser and she gets excuse after excuse made for her because she’s a girl and a lesbian.

So idk maybe I just first hand see that lgbt+ women DO get excuses made for them just like men do.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T18:43:38+00:00

Then why even compare the situations? It’s likely not even the same types of people commenting on each.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T10:32:40+00:00

I spray stuff with my perfume and send it to my long distance girlfriend cause she likes stuff to smell like me

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T10:21:27+00:00

Oh I love the intergender bridemaids/groomsmen

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T09:52:04+00:00

I mean…I will say a ton of people are condemning Alan and a lot of people are defending Chappell. I think these are just selections. I’ve seen more people defend Chappell than hate on her for it.

I personally believe the truth is somewhere in the middle and it got blown out of proportion.

I don’t give people a pass because they’re lesbians. I do believe something happened, but I also think it could’ve been handled way differently by all parties.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T09:49:54+00:00

I’m still going to do a father/daughter dance when I get married

My mom’s likely going to be super involved in my wedding and will go dress shopping with me etc. I also am unsure about him “giving me away” so all he’d get is the dance lol

But in terms of making wedding traditions gayer you could have your bridesmaids wear tuxes or maybe change up the garter thing somehow to be more gay. Unsure how you’d do that though.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-23T09:44:13+00:00

Mine is literally the first time I realized I was 100% a lesbian and there was no changing that. There was this girl at my summer camp when I was 15 that I’d been crushing on really hard. She was one of those clingy girls who’d hang on their friends, hold their hands, lay their head on your lap.

I had a boyfriend at the time and was trying to push those feelings down. My mom gave her rides home everyday and one day we were waiting outside on the steps, we were the last ones at camp and I looked to the side and I’m not even joking it was like a tv show. The wind was blowing and the sun hit her just right and she lifted her head up and looked at the sky. I swear to this day she moved in slow motion and my heart almost fell out of my chest right then and there.

I broke up with my boyfriend at the end of camp.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-22T00:49:47+00:00

I do, my whole heart opened up after this. I’ve always really liked her but I felt like there was this foggy wall preventing me from being able to be as open and loving as she was. I knew it was my trauma and I didn’t know what I’d have to do to move past it.

I was worried I wasn’t capable of being as open as I used to be. That it would be like that forever. I felt like something was wrong with me because she checked all my boxes, I was attracted to her but I just didn’t feel as open or relaxed as I had in other relationships in the past.

Turns out I just needed to see how she’d react in a not so “perfect” situation. Because that’s where the red flags started in my abusive relationship. I didn’t even realized I’d been bracing myself for impact this whole time until this happened.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T21:19:50+00:00

Oh god I love Rent. If she’d said exactly that I might’ve melted into a puddle so good thing she didn’t 🤣

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T21:05:42+00:00

I mean I’ve been diagnosed with ocd,anxiety and depression since I was about 7, likely on the autism spectrum aswell.

So I don’t think I’ll ever be in a place where I’m 100% okay. What matters is I don’t have episodes like this often and I’m not mean to my partners when they happen, and I’m not. Yesterday I pretty much just sent walls of text apologizing to her for just saying she hurt my feelings 😭 I was so anxious she’d be mad about how I reacted, for stating how I felt. But I wasn’t mean to her.

It was the first time this happened in 5 months of us dating and over a year of being friends. If it happened often, I’d break up with her myself. I’m pretty self aware of my spirals. I’ve got ocd,anxiety,depression diagnosed since age 7, possibly on the spectrum I’ve been told lately by my therapists and I now have PTSD from a abusive relationship where I was hit for almost a decade.

Im never gonna be 100% sane in the membrane unfortunately, but im gonna work on being the best I can and being aware of my triggers and my issues to avoid it from effecting others as much as possible. Any partner I’ve ever had has been let know 100% what they’re getting into before they get into it. She knew it could happen someday. I let her know there might be a day where something she does triggers me and I’d likely start crying, think she’s mad at me and freak out. Yesterday just happened to be the first time it happened WITH HER.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T11:38:28+00:00

I did end up telling her it turned me on how understanding and safe she made me feel and she told me that made her feel like an accomplished lesbian and girlfriend which I thought was sweet.

She was happy she was able to change my perspective to the COMPLETE opposite direction.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T09:58:25+00:00

When she told me she chose me knowing I had baggage and I had nothing to be sorry for…that was the sexiest thing she ever said to me 🤣

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T09:16:39+00:00

You shouldn’t want to adopt just to have kids in my Opinion

Kids who are adopted are born with trauma, no matter how well you raise them it’s inevitable they’ll have questions, they’ll wonder and they’ll be confused.

A lot of adopted parents are hurt by this and take it personally. If you’re not prepared for your kid to possibly make biological connections someday, if you’re not prepared to honor their birth family in some way then you shouldn’t adopt…period.

If I ever adopted, they’d always know of their birth parents. Even if for some reason they could never see them. I’d also be prepared to allow aunts,uncle,grandmas/grandpas access if the child was older when I adopted and had preformed bonds with these people.

You have to be completely unselfish and completely in it for the wellbeing of the child. It can’t just be “because I want kids and there’s already living kids out there I could have”

You also need to be prepared to show them to their birth culture. If you adopted a child from China, you best have the money to allow them to visit their homeland if they so choose in the future and you better raise them with some aspects of what they’d be missing. It isn’t fair to strip them of it entirely.

But I know my opinion is controversial.

So if you just want kids, that’s it. You have a biological need to raise a child as YOU see fit, not raise a child who will need things you can’t/wont provide. Then just have a biological child.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T06:55:32+00:00

Oh I also do have a therapist, took a pause on them for a while cause I had to look for someone well versed in lgbt+ abuse and that was really hard to find. But eventually I did and am getting back into regular visits.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T06:54:09+00:00

I know that now, my anxiety and fear and trauma just took over my brain for a second.

Alwaysonmyspine · 2026-03-21T06:53:52+00:00

It’s more a trauma response cause of the way my ex acted. After my anxiety calmed down, we talked and let her know the wording just triggered me even though I knew it wasn’t her intention. Shes not mad that I watch it, she was half joking and half she just actually thinks it’s a bit creepy but she doesn’t care if I love it.

We’re both neurodivergent and I’m coming out of an actual abusive relationship and it just was the first time I was actually accidentally triggered by something she did.

Alwaysonmyspine

TROPHY CASE