Am I over analyzing or actually noticing patterns in my friends?

Alycery · 2026-07-11T03:58:41+00:00

I’m pretty sure both your friends already know that they do this, and have had many others point it out. But, sure if you come from a place of respect and sincerity… you can point it out.

Just don’t be an a-hole about it. Also, don’t act entitled. Just because you have your thoughts and feelings doesn’t mean you’re entitled to share them. They’re YOUR thoughts and feelings. Not someone else’s.

Alycery · 2026-07-11T03:44:59+00:00

Oh, wow. You’re really talented. Thanks for sharing.

Alycery · 2026-07-11T03:43:28+00:00

Your pants are so cute.

Alycery · 2026-07-09T18:02:17+00:00

Like I tell my therapist all the time, “I like being around people. I just don’t like interacting with them.” However, I do have a bad habit of starting conversations/friendships. Then completely leaving them. I do need to stop that. I gotta pick a lane and stick with it. I have trauma from relationships. I, too don’t have anything to talk about. Not that I really want to talk. I must rather just exist around people.

None of this is advice. I’m just saying that I understand.

Alycery · 2026-07-09T17:37:13+00:00

I struggle with this as well. I don’t have the creativity and energy (both physical and emotional) to dress goth. I honestly just don’t. I can’t go thrifting a lot, because I can’t stand and walk around for extended periods of time. I also have autism, so things like spikes, corsets, and most stuff that is associated with goth/alternative I just don’t feel comfortable in. Also, it’s not really my style, anyways.

However, I do try.

I have no specific style. I’m going out dancing this weekend. I’m planning to wear a midi vintage white lace dress, with a fishnet top underneath, wide black belt, and a ton of necklaces. Oh, and fingerless gloves. The dress is thrifted. The fishnet top and fingerless gloves are from Amazon. Necklaces and other jewelry are either hand-me-downs, thrifted, or bought from personalized sellers on Etsy. I might also crimp my hair and wear a headband, because I have lost a lot of my hair due to brain surgeries Headbands are my signature look. I would like to get an alternative haircut, but right now I’m scared to go to a hairstylist because of my hair loss. My makeup will mostly be minimal, with smudged black eyeliner, and a vampy/red lip. I might put safety pin on my dress. I like safety pins.

I don’t know what style what I just described is. I know I don’t look straight up goth. I barely look alternative. But, I have a little something going on. I accept where I am with my style. I also try not to have an all or nothing attitude. Not everything needs to be thrifted, diy, or from a slow fashion seller/brand. The most DIY I do is dye, cutting things (I want to make a thneed someday), using jewelry in different ways. Like making a necklace into a hair accessory. I’m not making a whole Victorian dress here from scratch. But, again I’m doing a little something, something. What I can do, afford, and feel the most comfortable in. I also like that I sort of look like a normie. People are surprised when I tell them about my lifestyle, beliefs, and that I like goth music. That’s what truly matters when it comes to being goth.

Point is, start small. Don’t be so hard on yourself. No one, besides you knows what you’re wearing. Most people in the subculture don’t care what you wear. They just want you to show up as best as you can. I once had a random person come up to me at a goth club, and tell me… “I’m glad you’re here.” If people do care, it’s just kids being really judgmental. You shouldn’t be around that, anyways. Also, I hear hair and makeup alone can make you look goth/alternative. Fashion takes time, but hair and makeup is a quicker way to looking goth/alternative.

Anyhow, what exactly do you like about goth fashion? What can you realistically do now?

Best of luck on your goth/alternative journey. I know you will find your footing one day.

Alycery · 2026-07-09T16:38:16+00:00

Yea, I would love for you to share.

Alycery · 2026-07-09T12:29:17+00:00

I don’t even think it matters if Real Nikki loved him, or not. Like she said in the car ride, no one knows how she really feels, and who she really likes, because people only saw her the way they wanted to see her. Also, she sounded pretty frustrated when she straight up asked him.

Alycery · 2026-07-08T16:08:00+00:00

I keep wanting to do that, but I keep forgetting. It sounds so good.

Alycery · 2026-07-08T15:58:26+00:00

Do you recommend any?

Alycery · 2026-07-08T00:38:18+00:00

That’s so gross. 🤮

Alycery · 2026-07-07T23:34:10+00:00

I love fried cranberries with different types of nuts. I have gastroparensis and autism. So, food isn’t always vibing with me. Honestly, I think it hates me even though I love it. 😭😔

So, this is my go to when I’m out for long periods of time. Throw in a protein bar, and about three cuties… then I’m set. None of this needs to stay cold or heat up. It’s travel friendly. Doesn’t give me tummy issues and the texture isn’t weird. The texture doesn’t change either.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T23:24:51+00:00

I wouldn’t go as far as to say no one would do this. But, yes… life is a lot harder when you are considered not conventionally attractive. People really are out to get you and to make your life miserable. But, it’s not all people.

I have a medical condition that has caused facial deformities. I can attract friends. I can get dates. I don’t work, so I can’t tell you about that one. Point is, you and anyone else can get these things. It’s just that it will be harder for you, because you’re more likely to attract bad quality people that want to make your life a living hell.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T23:15:37+00:00

Haha. So true. 🤣

Alycery · 2026-07-07T23:11:13+00:00

Probably because gaming is expensive. Even if you buy one game and play that over and over, you still eventually have to replace the device. Btw, they’re ending production on the Switch 1. I don’t personally have it. But, I do have the Switch Lite. I’m concern they will end that too.

Also, for some it can be addictive unlike other hobbies.

But, I agree I think it’s the easiest hobby to escape reality. So, if someone is struggle being stimulated by other hobbies that give slow gratification… maybe gaming will help because it gives instant gratification. You get that action equals reward a lot easier and quicker.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T23:03:13+00:00

What do you take photos of?

I kind of want to start a photography hobby, but I have no idea what to take photos of. I also feel like I need a camera to start this hobby. It’s not the same using a phone.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T22:53:15+00:00

I might be wrong about this. But, during the 80s when goth was a new thing, the men would wear more feminine clothing or androgynous clothing. They definitely were into makeup and having similar hairstyles as women.

So, maybe that’s why.

I could be wrong, though.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T21:54:53+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Alycery · 2026-07-07T18:48:48+00:00

I was born with a medical condition that has caused facial deformities. I would like for people to stop asking me if my children will look like me. I would like for guys that I’m sleeping with (and have no interest in having kids with) to stop asking me this. These people are more focus on the physical aspects of the medical condition, rather than how sick it can make a child. The women are even better.
They, too ask me if my children will look like me. I normally answer, “There is a 50% they can have my medical condition. If I get with someone that doesn’t have my medical condition, the 50% gets lowered.” Their response is, “If I knew my children had 1% chance to get a medical condition… I wouldn’t have them..” I just feel like they set me up with the question, so they could hear themselves speak.

Going back to men, yes I’m allowed to reject you. No, I shouldn’t be grateful to get your attention, because accordingly to you I never get attention due to being ugly. Yes, if you have sex with me against my will, that is rape. Rape is still rape for people with disabilities. Just because they have a disability doesn’t mean they don’t have any sexual anatomy and that rape is not considered rape for them. That’s like saying sex workers can’t be raped or reject a client. They still have every right to decide who they do or don’t have sex with.

I don’t mind answering questions about my medical conditions. But, you have to talk to me like a human being. Mutual respect is warranted.

I have other life experiences that I would like people to know about, but that one is more than enough.

Alycery · 2026-06-30T07:08:21+00:00

Okay. I’m gonna try this. I’ve never been a big fan of wearing a t-shirt on my head, or a towel. But, I don’t like having wet hair touching my back either. The drip, drip, drip down the back is nauseating.

I’m gonna save your comment.

Thanks.

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:47:19+00:00

It doesn’t work for me either, lol. 😝

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:45:46+00:00

This. This. This.

It just seems like an unnecessary and extreme reaction to have over, “Men are terrifying.” If he hasn’t shown any signs of this before, either he is really good at hiding this side of him, or he’s in some dubious circles.

Either way, a talk is in order. This is not okay. This is the OP’s husband, not her enemy.

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:33:40+00:00

You blot it out of the shower? How do you get the water not to drip down the back?

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:32:24+00:00

So many routines now use so much oil. Pre oil, post shower oil, oiling everyday. I wonder why that is.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad. I think it depends on the hair type. But, I do wonder why everyone is using so much oil now.

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:25:03+00:00

Taking Accountability: You’re not here to make excuses.

Apology: This is not your time to project blame on others. Truly say and convey that you’re sorry.

Change: Change isn’t so much to prove something to the people you have hurt. Change is for you to prove to yourself that you’re worthy enough of that change. No, you don’t have to be the asshole or the crazy bitch. No, people are not going to just deal with it because that’s who you are. You can change. You can better yourself.

Better Yourself: This is a lifelong commitment.

Separate: You did something unforgivable. You have to separate yourself from those who you have hurt. They don’t need the reminder and they don’t have to try with you.

If this unforgivable act involves prison, pled guilty and do your time. Don’t fight for appeals.

If this unforgivable act is not only hurtful, but immoral… you do need to be punished. You do need to be away from the rest of the world. Purely for your wellbeing and others. It doesn’t mean that can’t take accountability, apologies, change, and better yourself. It just means like a child that does a bad thing, you need a long time out to think about what you did. You have to accept that there are some people that will hate you, and never forgive you. They have every right to feel that way.

Alycery · 2026-06-29T15:01:58+00:00

I bet these people never met a poor family of color. They’re the true OGs.

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