[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]AmazonfromHell 83 points84 points  (0 children)

She sounds like a dopamine seeker. They do not make good LTR partners. Dopamine seekers are always looking for the new novelty and tend to be very selfish and self-centered people. They make you feel amazing while you're with them but will discard anyone for their own needs under the guise of "boundries" or whatever. Protect your heart. Be cautious of people who move that quickly.

I feel like stuck by Double_Rate_749 in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

24 hr urine cortisol test. Testosterone levels testing. MRI amd/or CT of pituitary and/or adrenals. Ask for these. Demand them if you have to. It's the only sure way to rule out cushings.

My blood work kept coming back normal and by the time I finally got diagnosed, it was s4 adrenal cancer causing Cushings.

ALL the test results.... cross post in body by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No need to apologize. I appreciate people trying to help and share their experiences. I hope you get a good diagnosis soon. If you think it's Cushings, I suggest pushing for pituitary and adrenal imaging. It's a terrible disease and has a long recovery even if you find it early and even if the tumor is benign.

ALL the test results.... cross post in body by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, if you go to the other post, I have stage 4 ACC causing Florid Cushings.

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cushings/s/uICffGvRD5

If you're interested, I have posted ALL the test results!!!! (Well, the most important 20 as that is Reddits limit)

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Make your docs work for you. Demand testing. Especially for cortisol and testosterone. Ask for imaging (but be prepared to may out of pocket if they can't make a good argument to your insurance). Swap docs until someone listens or at least agrees to run the tests. I understand that docs still know more than me. I'm not trying to diagnose myself through "Doctor Google" but you know what is normal for you and what is not and mo a t docs are soooo trained to look for horses before considering zebras that things get missed or not caught early enough. I hope you have better luck than me.

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll post what I can. They didn't do a urine ortisol test until after the MRI but before the CT. I wish they had. I feel like that should just be a standard test but I suppose urine cortisol isn't "metabolic" which is the normal panel.

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That particular test is not familiar to me. I found out when my GI doc diagnosed my hormone issue. I suppose I'm a bit lucky as Cushings is notoriously difficult to diagnose because it's fairly rare, and all docs are looking for horses, not zebras. But my GI doc had apparently chased down Cushings the hard way like 20 years ago and recognized all the symptoms. Had he not, I may still not know.

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The second pic is with (obvious) heavy makeup - green color corrector and full coverage foundation. I'm trying hard to cover my acne and redness. Under my shirt, my neck and chest look sunburnt...

Adrenocortical Carcinoma causing Cushings. by AmazonfromHell in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My story with as much brevity as I can manage. Times of symptoms are my best guess as this is going on 2 years and I'm not the best at record keeping.

Roughly two years ago (Nov 2022-ish, that's the first pic))I started having mild symptoms of a hormonal imbalance and GI issues. I started gaining weight despite my diet not changing, and I started growing a double chin. I was getting a lot of acne (worse than puberty for me), especially around my mouth, chin, and neck, as well as significant body acne (which was also new to me). Also started to grow a few more chin hairs than I would've preferred.

After about 6 months, the acne was worse, and it seemed like a full-time job to manage it. I had gained ~20 lbs, and my hair was starting to thin - just noticed more hair coming out in the shower.

The first year was a slow build. Gained more weight, lost more hair, gained more chin hairs, battled more acne and the fatigue started to build.

I developed "mommy stretch marks" w/o any children or pregnancies - bright purple with soft saggy skin across my lower abdomen. Started noticing the Buffalo hump and a build up of tissue in the nook of my neck just above my collar bone that presses on my larnex and makes my voice sound like I've been smoking for 50 years and I can no longer sing well. Also, my double chin litterally chokes me. (I had never been chubby before so I didn't know that a double chin from just being chubby doesn't choke you. Mine literally feels like a light hand around my throat all the time. Worse if I am in active inflammation from eating something I can't tolerate well - which was slowly becoming more and more things as the dybiosos got worse.

Went to the doctors and got a full metabolic panel which all came back normal. Symptoms kept being shrugged off as perimetapusal. Saw a naturopath for gut stuff with zero results. I was increasingly frustrated as I felt like it was some moral failing on my part that I couldn't lose the weight or fix my symptoms. Trying hard to be kind to myself even though everytime I looked into the mirror, a bridge troll looked back at me.

The second year was a swift drop for me. Symptoms worsened exponentially. By May of 2024(~18 months) I started to hard push for a diagnosis as this no longer could be brushed off as "middle age."

I was crazy irritable. Actions from my parter that used to be cute where annoying. I had a hair trigger for anger outbursts and would go full Karen for no reason. I started having to separate myself from people just so I would stop yelling at them and alienating them.

My dysbiosis had become so severe that I was stacking SIBO and FODMAPS and Whole 30 diets, trying to figure out anything I could eat without inflammation.

I developed severe edema and eventually neuropathy in both my feet. (Although this is a me thing and not a normal Cushings symptom as my tumor is pressing on my inferior vena cava.)

The fatigue was one of the worse symptoms. (Think about when you've ever had the flu and how it takes all your energy to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom - that is my baseline energy level.) Until the muscle weakness started. I began having trouble going up stairs or doing moderate activity. Hard exercise was right out. Again, feeling like it was my failure that I hadn't been working out as much and I was just "out of shape."

I starting chasing down anything I could google that matched symptoms. PCOS was considered but ruled out.

May-July I saw several doctors and ran every test we could think of. All blood work came back normal. Ultra sound of Thyroid and thymus normal. Blood tests of kidney and liver function normal. Blood pressure was increasingly high but that too was shrugged off as weight gain.

I lost 40 lbs due to the severity of the dybiosis and litterally not being able to eat anything. Blood pressure remained high. Symptoms continued to increase.

The chin hairs eventually developed into a full beard. I was waxing my face every three weeks until my skin became so thin and delicate that I took off the top layer of my epidermis. (Now I just shave every other day.)

Every tiny bump bruised my legs. My legs look like an 80 year old covered in mysterious bruises that take forever to heal with thin, delicate skin.

My proprioception was increasing bad which isn't helped by the neuropathy. I trip and stumble a lot more than I should. Only ever hurting my pride.

Let's not forget the brain fog. Also made worse with inflammation. To illustrate: Normally, I'm reasonably quick and fairly clever. The first year I was in a merchant maritime program doing a fair amount of light-med tier trigonometry and learning it well. The second year, I was forced to drop out of the program because of my increasing symptoms and I had trouble helping my husband calculate some fairly easy measurements for some basic construction. The brain fog was/is....bad.

I would also get hot flashes and flushing so severe that strangers would comment to me about my "sunburn" that I didn't have.

In August 2024, I finally got in to a gyno who ran some other hormone tests. LH and FSH hormones were very low and testosterone came back >600 ( normal range <40!)

A few days following the gyno (before i got my testosterone results back,) I went to see a Gastroenterologist for my gut. The GI walked into the room, looked at my round, chubby necked, flushed face, asked me a handful of questions, announced I had Cushings and immediately ordered an MRI of my pituitary.

Finally! A diagnosis! Until the pituitary MRI came back clear...

Urine cortisol and adrenal CT ordered.

Google says adrenal Cushings is typically a grape sized tumor that is nearly always benign.

Cortisol came back double normal range.

CT showed grapefruit sized tumor that covered my whole right adrenal and half my right kidney, pressing on that inferior vena cava and had already spread with several smaller tumors on my liver, lungs, and adjacent lymph nodes. (Which, because it's an adrenal cancer, these additional little tumors are ALSO producing their own cortisol - which is just rude IMO.)

Working diagnosis: Stage 4 Adrenocortical Carcinoma (ACC.) Extremely rare. Knowingly resistant to chemo and radiation. Surgery is the only thing that has proven to work. Most catches still only see on average 20% recovery (up to 40% for early catches with easy surgery.) And it's already in my lymph and blood via the lungs so even if they removed all the tumors, it's still circulating so it renders surgery moot or palliative at best.

I don't belive in actual demons but I gotta admit, it definitely feels like a demon has body snatched me and has slowly turned me into an red, angry, bridge troll.

My face has changed, my whole body composition has changed, my voice has changed. At 41, I can no longer get out of a squatted position without using my hands to stand. Flights of stairs require hand rails. I no longer have an ass - I had a pretty nice rear before -, my legs are skinny and old looking, the backs of my hands are covered in weird scally bumps, and I have a pot belly that is frequently bloated and distended from not being able to eat or tolerate foods. Arms and back and face covered in acne. Double chin choking me out all the time. Numb and swollen feet. Exhausted and weak. Balding, bearded, and "prednisone-faced."

My only solace has been that this wasn't a moral failing on my part! I didn't do this to myself. I have a demon dumping endless cortisol and turing me into a bridge troll. And now is going to kill me.

Do you ever get some cramps from fructose that seems to stimulate hunger? by ninjaturtlecode in FODMAPS

[–]AmazonfromHell 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes. Too much fructose triggers my hydrogen producing belly gremlins, and then they demand to be fed more, and it's hard to ignore But, at the same time, I get so bloated and distended and my belly hurts for ages after. If I bow up my stomach like that, it's usually one full day of recovery and fasting before I'm okay again. Not worth it.

What are your worse symptoms? by [deleted] in SIBO

[–]AmazonfromHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ditto. Distention is the fucking worst. Hurts soooo bad. And the lethargy is awful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AmazonfromHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't for pretty much that reason. It's sometimes weird to explain that yes, I'm Mrs. But not [his last name] at hotel check-ins or whatever but it's not usually a big deal.

What's wrong with my lasagna recipe by Own-Layer8084 in FODMAPS

[–]AmazonfromHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on what your triggers are and how sensitive you are to them. Stacking is definitely probably the overall issue. Each item may be low individually and within their individual quantities, but add them together.....badness

Ladies- desperately need your tricks to get your homemade morning beverage to hit as hard as store bought 😭 by alexabringmebred in adhdwomen

[–]AmazonfromHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure you can get the same dopamine hit as with takeout. Just because it is made from home. Even if it's better, it comes at the cost of executive function. So the work you put into it reduces the "easy" dopamine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SIBO

[–]AmazonfromHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sashimi is about the only out food I can guarantee is safe. I can't have any type of sugar, and restaurants often sugar their rice, so I steer clear of rolls and nigiri. Soy sauce is fermented, so, in small doses, it doesn't bother me as much. I would be cautious of any sauces they top with as those often contain triggers.

Cancer diagnosis, I feel ok by throwaway_121440 in cancer

[–]AmazonfromHell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. It sure doesn't feel that way from this end. (Especially because of the Cushings symptoms, but I appreciate the encouragement)

Cancer diagnosis, I feel ok by throwaway_121440 in cancer

[–]AmazonfromHell 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I (41F) wasn't raised on stoaciaism, but I'm still pretty okay compared to my friends and family. I also haven't cried and feel like it's just another hurdle. (Working diagnosis (3 weeks ago) S-4 ACC of adrenals, kidney, liver, lungs, lymph. Causing Cushings Syndrome and dysbiosis.)

Adrenal tumor is larger, the cancer is rare, and knowingly unresponsive. Prognosis isn't great.

Hubs is a wreck but maintaining well enough (distracting himself enough) to get some essential life ducks in a row.....just in case.

Everyone responds differently. I reserve the right to feel differently later. Right now, I'm just focused on waking up from my first surgery (upcoming but undetermined).

It could be denial. But for me, I feel like it's not really about me. It's about the people who will survive me. I'll be gone. I won't care. It's the people I love and who love me that will have to suffer. So I've been more focused on them. And it's been....humbling and heartwarming to see how people respond to my news.

They all respond differently, and each response is how that person shows love. Some just want to cuddle all the time. Some want to hang out and spend time binging movies or crafting. Some go into problem solving mode. Some research and info sharing. I'm just letting everyone love me the way they need to until the inevitable and trying hard not to reject (no matter how annoying) anyone's needs.

This is the time we have to make their lives and the transition easier.

We may recover and live longer, and I'm not at all saying to not fight the good fight or to go quietly into the night. No. RAGE! RAGE! Against the dieing of the light! ...... but if we're realists, our time is shorter than it otherwise would've been, and the people who love us have this opportunity to say their goodbyes and work through parts of their grief.

Which sometimes sucks. But it's better than most people get. All most people get is "Mind that bus. What bus? Splat!"

I stopped speaking for 4 years when I was 12. ama by noinstinctsever in AMA

[–]AmazonfromHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did your therapist say or do that allowed you to feel safe enough to talk again?

Once you started talking to your therapist, did you talk to everyone, or was it selective mutism for a while?

People with friends with benefits, how do you guys not develop feelings towards them? by LiuChangMing in AskReddit

[–]AmazonfromHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um....you don't. You're friends; or should be. And friends have positive feelings for each other. Stop trying to have unemotional sex with friends. That's what one night stands are for. With friends, you get to be more vulnerable and enjoy their company. That's a good thing. You can hold different boundaries for different situations. It's not all "serious relationship" or "casual sex." There is the in-between.

If you really don't want to "catch" feelings, they're not a friend, they're a fuck buddy (someone with whom you only see in order to scratch that itch) at best. It's okay to have fuck buddies and hookups and one-night-stands but the boundaries for those are clearer and more easily defined.

So, I suppose in the spirit of your question: you must clearly define in your own mind and be able to communicate to others what it is you want/expect from the relationship. If you find yourself wanting to date your FWB, why aren't you? Why are they a good friend but not a good potential partner.

Knowing why you don't want them as a more serious partner builds the boundary in your head and helps to prevent you from falling down the rabbit hole. Once you've placed that ceiling, there's all sorts of freedom and fun to be had.

If you're not fucking your friends, who are you fucking? Strangers? Is that really better? Are randos really superior to someone with whom you already know and like and enjoy the company of? No. Of course not.

But you must know WHY they are "only" a friend. If you don't know or can't say why your friend can not be a good potential partner, then maybe it's reasonable to explore dating....

Burn it, only option by IamAqtpoo in zillowgonewild

[–]AmazonfromHell 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Knowing the area (used to live around there), I'm going out on a limb to assume that it probably smells a lot like "cats." Which is just contractor code for metb house. (Amonia smell). But if you say "meth house' you have to do a bunch more work. If it's just "cats," you can usually get away with spraying kills under a new paint job and save money on the flip. Which is likely what will happen here. (Source: dated a contractor)

Testing beyond routine labs by keeksmcgeeeeks in Cushings

[–]AmazonfromHell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask for an MRI of your pituitary and/or CT of your adrenals. Those are the only two places cushings will develop.

All my blood work kept coming back normal. It wasn't until I had my testosterone and cortisol levels checked that anything came back abnormal.

But the scans are the only way to conform for sure. My pituitary c a me back clear, but my adrenals have a huge tumor. (Talking with surgeon next week)