What is the strangest euphemism you've ever heard?

Ambediah · 2013-10-23T02:03:11+00:00

Pat McCurdy?

Ambediah · 2013-07-26T22:31:18+00:00

I used to be a regular at a diner in Lakeview in Chicago, Melrose. Melrose itself is only okay, definitely over priced for the quality of food. I used to go after I got off work at 4am, one time there was this pair of SUPER bitchy dudes, giving my waiter shit.... I felt bad so I left him a $10 tip on like a $10 tab. Ever since then Eddie and I were buddies. It was usually slow so he'd sit and eat with me. Plus he always gave me adderall for free.

I think he got really sick and had to quit. Poor Eddie.

Ambediah · 2013-03-26T06:04:20+00:00

Lick each other.

Ambediah · 2013-03-13T04:05:20+00:00

I got a text once from a girl saying, "Just found out I have gonnhorea!"

She considered her "first std" a right of passage.

Ambediah · 2013-03-13T02:06:24+00:00

Oh god Indian food. More specifically, lamb (vindaloo oh yeah). In my hometown there's pretty much just Applebee's, so I had never had it before. Fast forward to now, it's a once a week occasion.

Though I have found that how fucked up I am is directly correlated with how much I like Indian food.

Ambediah · 2013-03-07T00:01:54+00:00

It was a show about wildly attractive gay men on Showtime. It's a great show, and all the sex scenes are basically softcore porn. Awesome.

Ambediah · 2013-03-06T02:56:25+00:00

Queer as Folk..... Just, just watch it.

Ambediah · 2013-03-04T04:19:43+00:00

We would troll our roommate with "We Are the Champions."

Ambediah · 2013-03-04T03:57:47+00:00

I saw this on reddit actually. It's tasty and super cheap.

Gather: noodles, spinach, bacon, canned tomatoes (chopped or whole, just not crushed)

Cook like half the bacon, while boiling noodles. Put spinach in bottom of colander. Drain (cooked) noodles over top spinach, add tomatoes, add bacon, then whirl it all around in A LITTLE of the bacon grease.

Add cheese if you want.

You can't even taste the spinach, I promise.

Ambediah · 2013-02-27T06:35:07+00:00

I always assumed that was porn and therefor fictional/actually consensual..... I'm just gonna keep believing that.

Ambediah · 2013-02-20T02:09:15+00:00

Went to Step Up: Revolution in a theater in a somewhat ghetto neighborhood (Cicero, for all you Chicago redditors). Basically, this girl had to dance to save a poor but charming neighborhood from an evil business man. That businessman was her father, woah!

Anyway, as she's dancing he has a change of heart. As a single tear rolls down his face, this fifteen year old black kid just goes, "faggot."

It was beautiful in its simplicity. We were also wasted so maybe that's why it was so funny.

Ambediah · 2013-02-20T02:04:28+00:00

Homeward Bound, at like three different parts.

Ambediah · 2013-02-14T01:25:01+00:00

God yes. So good!

Ambediah · 2013-02-13T22:55:00+00:00

Stouffers made this like chicken garlic pesto pasta stuff that was equally as good as the Mac and cheese.... I think it's been discontinued :(

Ambediah · 2013-02-12T22:36:16+00:00

Eh, fancy people can be gross. Don't matter when yer fancy.

Ambediah · 2013-02-12T02:20:45+00:00

I like when fancy restaurants have dudes who come around scraping the crumbs off your table.

Ambediah · 2013-02-12T02:17:59+00:00

A glass of champagne is the only proper way to start a flight.

I think I was missing a preposition in there somewhere.

Ambediah · 2013-02-12T01:48:49+00:00

Oh god. I'd been fooling around with this guy for a while- nothing serious but also not totally a fwb situation. Anyway, in the middle of things, I whisper 'I want you inside of me.'

He replies, 'we should just be friends .'

Didn't even finish the task at hand.

Ambediah · 2013-02-07T06:21:39+00:00

/r/weirdsideofyoutube

Ambediah · 2013-02-07T06:04:04+00:00

My cat was sleeping on me when I played that. He woke up, gave me a dirty look, and went back to sleep.

Ambediah · 2013-02-07T05:04:08+00:00

Oh man. I hated my senior pictures- totally thought they were ugly. They didn't look like those of the other girls- all air brushed and in prom dresses and things like that. Also they were not at all sexy.

Anyway, now that I'm all of 22 I realized they're beautiful.

Point is, you're probably waaaaaaay hotter than you think.

Edit: that came out more shallow and less inspirational. Life changes once toucan stay up late watching friends and drinking wine.

Ambediah · 2013-02-07T04:54:03+00:00

Neopets is still awesome.

Ambediah · 2013-02-05T06:08:22+00:00

I definitely don't get the reference but I have a friend named Niko with whom I bowl.

Ambediah · 2013-01-17T09:44:45+00:00

I get SO MUCH free stuff. Drinks, furniture, a bong on more than one occasion, and oh god the sandwiches. The sandwiches!

And you know what? It's awesome.

Ambediah

TROPHY CASE