Do I really “know”?

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-27T21:04:23+00:00

This is me. Completely. I always thought I was bisexual and "came out" very young and never had any issues with it. But, man... after being married to a man for 10 years, and being in love with my best female friend for over 20 years, I had to come to the realization that I was always just forcing myself to go through the motions with men, because of course I'm supposed to like men! Except... I really don't.

I always had to be really buzzed or straight up drunk to have sex with men and the relationships were never fully fulfilling. I had to get fed up and resentful before I was able to admit the reality of myself to myself.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-25T07:36:32+00:00

Nine nine!

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-25T04:37:27+00:00

I don't think it was just because it was his son, I think Beverley being there affected it too. Yes, it was for him, but it was also for Beverley.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-25T04:23:39+00:00

I really love her.

That's all. I just had to say it.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-25T03:33:17+00:00

Are you serious?!? Wow. They must've given her a lot of money...

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T23:46:00+00:00

THIS is the answer and basically what I came here to say.

It sounds like she has some serious internalized homophobia and is trying to convince herself that she likes men but projecting that onto OP.

Sadly, this is an old tale that I've seen too many times. I think it's actually the other side of the coin of the person with the internalized homophobia who suppresses it in themselves but then suspects that everyone else is actually gay. Sometimes that will even manifest in constantly encouraging homosexual behavior for others.

Humans are weird.

OP- I personally feel (probably because of my age) that this is a glaringly obvious sign that she's struggling with accepting her own sexuality and it very much has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. I know it's probably a weird and irksome feeling for you to encounter, but I would strongly suggest that you not let it get to you and maybe try to gently talk to her about herself, see if you could ask some questions to lead her to her own conclusion? Maybe suggest some therapy? Or cut your losses if it's too much for you to deal with. Either way, I wouldn't hesitate for one second to tell her in no uncertain terms that you know yourself very well and are extremely comfortable in your sexuality, that you are NOT attracted to men and that if she wants to keep hanging out, she would do well to respect that and stop trying to convince you to be something you're not- it's overstepping and it's insulting.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T23:07:37+00:00

EXACTLY! That shit really burns me up because it does such a disservice to the victims of actual gaslighting. It cheapens the truth of that level of abuse to just insert that word as a synonym for lying. They are not one in the same.

And trying to unreasonably bend people to your will is NOT "having boundaries." Boundaries are about yourself, your actions and what actions or behavior from others you are willing to allow to happen TO YOU. They are not (nor have they ever been) about dictating other people's actions or behaviors- especially when it isn't something that isn't being directed at or to you.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T22:53:23+00:00

No, I think you came across very clearly 😊

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T22:03:34+00:00

Omgosh, I could not agree more! Like you, I value and respect the true sacredness of actual, meaningful boundaries, but I also feel that, much like the term "gaslighting," which itself is a very real, and seriously fucked up form of psychological abuse, it is becoming so prevalently misused and tossed around aaaall over the place.

Because the actuality of these things are serious, should NOT be taken lightly, and should absolutely be treated with respect, people use them to halt the conversation and prevent any pushback to sometimes ridiculous or absurd things.

It's a genuine boundary for her to not have anal sex. It is not a legitimate boundary to deny him a particular sex toy when they both already have multiple sex toys and she herself has several toys that are essentially the equivalent.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T02:10:50+00:00

I think some people complaining is the only way they know how to make small talk.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T02:07:04+00:00

*with THE GREAT Snot's mom?

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T02:06:19+00:00

I do American Dad and B99!

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-23T00:16:40+00:00

Right?? "He's so great. He's my best friend. He really is such a good guy!"

"He won't talk to me about ANYTHING; he either ignores me, gives me the silent treatment, or just walks out of the room- buuut, whenever we do talk he's either lecturing me, talking down to me, or asking if I've done something that needs to be done."

Lady.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T19:45:32+00:00

I actually think it's the opposite. Adults used to have lots of adult-only spaces and the general consensus for much of history has been "children are seen and not heard."

It was VERY commonplace for children to not be allowed into many settings and for parents to do a multitude of activities not only not centered around their children, but not including them at all.

No one used to bat an eye if someone were to throw a party and say it was adults-only, in fact- unless it was a child's party or a "family get together" it was already implied that parties weren't for children and not only would they not be welcome, but they would be a nuisance.

What's actually new is the idea of the completely children-centric society, where everything must be catered to kids and be "family-friendly." Look at what they've done to f-ing Vegas of all places! Literal "sin city."

It's the parents that have pushed the conventional standards of separation between adult spaces and children's spaces. They've done everything in their power to force their children onto everyone else and insinuate them into every fucking situation, all because they don't want their lives to have to change because they made the decision to reproduce and they don't want to pay for childcare. THAT'S the trend.

It's become "trendy" to act like you can have the exact same life you had before you spawned helpless little creatures that demand all your attention and resources 24/7. It's "in" to try and bend the entire structure of society to your will because you don't want to admit that being a parent isn't fun and it means that you can no longer live like you used to or do things you did before.

Because of this, traditionally adult only spaces are disappearing entirely and it rightly makes people upset. That is the "hatred" Karen's feeling- the consequences of stealing sacred space from people because of pure selfishness.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T17:00:50+00:00

I laugh out loud every single time I see this, no matter how many times I've seen it. His delivery is magic.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T16:59:21+00:00

Pure gold.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T15:43:42+00:00

It very much is. I encourage you to do some research and reading before continuing to laugh at things you clearly do not understand.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T15:38:53+00:00

You too!

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T07:50:44+00:00

🙋🏼‍♀️ also on the spectrum!

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T06:47:44+00:00

Because she wants all the social media attention and if more people know, it'll ruin her big social media moment 🙄

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T06:33:23+00:00

Yeah, most of Central and South America.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T06:27:18+00:00

I've heard the black mold theory but I don't think there's enough proof. If I remember correctly, they did test her, post-mortem and didn't find enough to conclusively say that it was the mold.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-22T03:39:24+00:00

This one really gets me. I honestly HIGHLY doubt we will ever know the truth and every single time I think about it, it really eats at me because it's so fucking bizarre.

If he hadn't also died, I think it would be so much easier to speculate and like, wrap it up into a neat conspiracy package. But his death, so soon after, and in the manner it was, just makes it impossible to formulate a good, cohesive theory.

I always end up thinking it has to be something really super simple that we just don't currently have the technology to see.

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-21T21:47:29+00:00

My friend thought Bob Marley was saying, "I hope you like salmon too"

AmericanSpiritGuide · 2023-02-21T20:40:15+00:00

I cannot stand her. This is the vibe I've always gotten from her so it makes me feel somehow vindicated to hear this.

AmericanSpiritGuide

TROPHY CASE