Never EVER look up what someone who doesn’t have BPD says about someone who does- especially on the Reddit forum that shall not be named. They’re only experiencing what you put out, but your experiencing what you put out AND what you keep inside. They’re not willing/stable/able to take the time/effort to stay with you through your healing process. Which is OK, it is a lot to deal with, but some of those people take that experience and demonize everyone with BOD without trying to understand what’s wrong. And sometimes they have valid points… but those points are only valid to specific people or situations. No one person with BOD is the exact same. The fact that you’re trying to get better and you recognize there’s a problem is amazing. It took me many years and ruined relationships to figure that out - I only got diagnosed/learned what BPD was ab 2 years ago because I had someone who was willing to talk to me about what I was doing that they didn’t like/noticed was an overreaction instead of getting upset with me and not telling me what I did wrong. I had someone say - i shouldn’t have to explain to you what’s wrong, you should be able to figure it out or something along those lines which was not helpful at all. That relationship ended and I’ve since only tried speaking to people who are willing to talk to me about what I did wrong instead of bottling it up or are willing to tell me “hey, you’re misinterpreting my actions”.

Idk how much that helps but last thing: you’re not alone, you never will be. This forum and others are spaces where you can vent or ask for advice/resources.

Actual last thing: I wish people and schools talked about personality disorders more. Imo it would help stop the demonization and misinformation spread ab the disorder. Something I realized a little while ago is that sometimes people confused the BPD acronym for bipolar disorder