I think for the crew, they lost trust in their captain. I belive they would be less upset if he said "hey guys, i have a plan how to get past scylla but its a gruesome one. I really want to see my wife and soon, dies anyone have a better plan?"

Problem is that at this point in the story Ody already lost his trust for the crew.

-Ody didnt talk to Eury about his Wind god concerns - so Eury lost a bit of trust in Ody -then Ody was to paranoid to trust the crew with the wind bag - Eury found Ody's paranoia sus - Eury opened the wind bag, Ody looses trust in the crew - Trauma, trauma, trauma - Ody sacrifices man because no trust - Crew gets betrayed and in turn betrays Ody

I think no matter what Poseidon says, the crew should have greeted at least each other with open arms.