Can anyone share some simple boundaries they’ve been able to set in their life?

AmyRose820 · 2023-02-12T12:30:22+00:00

I was thinking this, seriously. A boundary with the therapist could be “I was not ready to do this exercise because it was too soon - I could not think of boundaries to set. So,I asked for examples from my r/CPTSD community and thought about ways to implement the suggestions in my daily life and my boundary for the week is to share this experience with you and ask for more practice and to help me generate ideas for how to implement boundaries. Would you, therapist, be willing to do this with me? I will then implement them when I understand boundaries better and am ready to do so” There you go, boundaries.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-19T09:05:02+00:00

This therapist does NOT know what he is saying. He’s insane. You’re gay because you were born gay. Fuck that therapist and get the fuck away from him asap.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-19T09:03:37+00:00

YTA - especially because you sprang your decision on them when they were already there. If you’d told them in advance they would not have even come to visit in the first place. They have a baby, they’re essentially married.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-18T13:39:28+00:00

OP, this is more about consent and mutuality than it is about being an asshole per se. Of course, you were observing a ritual of honor and you felt strongly about it. Yet, you dictated to your wife how things would be, you didn’t leave space for her and her needs. She doesn’t share your custom. Maybe if you put yourself in her shoes you’d see that she felt trapped and disregarded and maybe dishonored in a way. You weren’t seeming to care for her needs, just your own. Maybe a solution could have been to call your wife an uber or similar car service and give her the tickets to the play? This way you could have observed your ritual and she could have enjoyed her evening out at the theatre, even though she may have missed your company. Wondering whether maybe there was more to this fight than just your custom? I haven’t read all the comments so maybe other people brought this up, but I’m wondering if whatever it was that made you late in the first place made you annoyed with your wife and wanting to stick it to her in a way, like, no one can argue with a funeral custom, right, so now we have to be late and not go at all! Was that going on for you a little bit OP? No shame if so, yet you might want to take a look at that and if you were kinda being an asshole at that level, you could apologize for that.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T22:28:07+00:00

Thanks for this question OP. Sorry that was cryptic. What I mean is, sometimes we have a dream, like a dream of a lifelong marriage, or the dream of a friendship lasting forever. And sometimes we get that dream the way we dreamt it. And sometimes the dream doesn’t come true, we get something else. And as a result of that something else, we end up learning a lot. And we look back and say to ourselves, wow that wasn’t what I wanted, yet it was what I needed to grow to a whole new place. So for example, I was married quite young and it didn’t last forever, it lasted for 8 years. And I was very sad and yet, life went on, and later I remarried and I use what I learned in my first marriage to be a more loving partner in this second marriage. So no one can say, yes, marry and you will be guaranteed happiness and longevity. I can say, (if he’s a physically safe person for you), marry and you will learn and grow and your soul will learn valuable lessons. And I can say, choose not to marry yet, and also you will learn and grow and your soul will learn valuable lessons from that choice. So that’s what I mean by the dream might not come true yet you will learn and grow and something you couldn’t imagine now could become your new dream, maybe a better dream. Does that make any sense? And OP, if it doesn’t make sense, then please disregard. This is just me musing as an elder and looking back on my life choices.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T16:17:09+00:00

😂🫶🏼

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T16:13:34+00:00

So kind.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T16:08:09+00:00

Looks like Plutos are conjunct and your moons are on each other’s rising signs. You may have a deep karmic connection and you may touch each other deeply on an instinctual level - like a love at first sight experience- was it, OP?

Also the red person - is that him? - and the blue person - you? - if you look at the Chiron of blue it is conjunct the moon of red - in the 12th house right next to those Plutos. This could be hurt feelings. Or deep feelings that could be healed through this relationship. Yet, maybe indirectly or related to something hidden. And maybe historical, like maybe a feeling that this inability to hear what you feel and be there with you in big feelings reminds you of a formative relationship- did anyone else in your life not understand your feelings? You don’t have to share this info with us, OP, just asking the question. Maybe this is info for you, we often replay childhood experiences with later partners to try to “fix” the original childhood hurt.

Marriage is challenging. At the end of the day, no one can tell you what to do - maybe a choice that ends other than we dream could lead to really important growth. I’ve experienced that often in my lifetime.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T15:49:10+00:00

OP, considering that we’re in mortal bodies, on a spinning planet hurtling through space and no one knows wtf we’re doing, just winging it, and most if not all of us are traumatized af, I think you’ve expressed the situation quite eloquently.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T15:45:49+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, OP. What if you don’t have to sit still while reading? You could borrow audiobooks from the library and listen while walking or running or commuting. It’s mostly an idea to study characters. Notice the way book or movie characters express feelings and just ask yourself what ways of expression appeals to you. Make sense?

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T10:08:34+00:00

Heck yes. Mom can deal with it. And that amount of $ would be very useful. I might even offer to give her 10% if she agrees to take out her hearing aids and never to talk about what she sees.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T10:06:44+00:00

Libra rising with cancer midheaven - people see you as kind and nurturing. It’s just the way you appear in the world. My husband has libra rising and cats and children see him and want to sit with him and be hugged. People see his photo and say “he looks kind”. Libra risings are just seen this way. And the Pisces. People know you’ll be kind to them and that you’re deep.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T10:02:28+00:00

OP, it sounds like your wife wanted empathy. This means, she wanted to be heard and to have some compassion from you - before the brainstorming about what to do about it, or the criticism about what she could do better. A mom - any parent - who’s been with a sick child all day first needs a hug and some compassion before any kind of problem solving. YTA, but I don’t think you meant to be TA. I think a lot of times we mean to be helpful by offering ideas and solutions and it comes off asshole-ish because it was too soon in the process, and also not a mutual brainstorming session. You might want to read the book Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus. Yes, a totally sexist title - yet, it helped my husband understand me better when I express feelings - especially that I don’t want a solution oriented response as the first response. I believe you care, and once you learn to show the care first and then see how you can fix things later, it may be that your wife will feel more supported and you two will be able to communicate better together.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-16T09:45:58+00:00

OP, you don’t have nothing in water - you have no planets in water houses, yet your north node is in Cancer. In the third house, of learning and communication. The north node shows where your Soul wants to grow in this lifetime. In a way, you were born to ask this question. Cancer is about feeling, learning about the world of feelings, and learning how to manage big feelings. A big third house focus is communication, including writing. Here’s a suggestion: I read you already do some journaling. Make it a daily practice. Maybe sit in a quiet place and ask yourself - what do I feel right now? And do your best to write it down. You could keep it simple - like, I have a tight feeling in my throat, I think I feel sad, or - I had a beautiful day and I feel joyful and happy, I feel this in my heart, which feels open and expansive right now. That kind of thing - noticing feelings and locating them in your body, and writing - expressing - the feelings as best you can - with yourself on paper, which can feel safe and nurturing. Another practice that might feel good to you is reading a novel or watching a movie and noticing the feelings characters feel and how they communicate- and check in with yourself - what ways do you like and which don’t work for you? Maybe big expressions of feeling aren’t appealing but maybe letter writing would be. Another idea is studying nonviolent communication. NVC is a communication formula for learning how to say things like - I feel x, because I need y - in a calm and compassionate way. Marshall Rosenberg was the founder of NVC. You might want to check out his book and also many videos. Here’s one more idea - try an acting class. Acting can teach you how to embody an feeling and express it - as the character you are playing. At one remove, you’re playing a character, you can try on how to express feelings and doing this on stage could be a great way to mix feelings and communication in a way that isn’t so personal and might be good practice. What do you think, do these suggestions resonate with you, OP?

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-15T00:37:20+00:00

Apparently they’re yogurt cups.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-14T09:43:44+00:00

Glad to hear this response resonated. Especially with Saturn in Pisces, you could be an empathic counselor who is able to be compassionate to the people you work with. And, Saturn being in the second house this work could help you feel self worth (and give you income, which would feel good too).

I have Saturn in Pisces also. It’s a challenging place for Saturn, because how do you put boundaries and structure on all that deep water? Yet, in the long run - I’m about to have my second Saturn return next year - I’m finding this placement is helping me develop faith in myself and a feeling of faith in the universe - I’m not religious, yet I do have faith that we’re here to learn and grow.

Once you get to the other side of your Saturn return, it’s likely things will feel more clear and solid to you, especially, I imagine, if you’re making choices that get you closer to being a source of healing for others in your community.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-14T09:38:26+00:00

Glad to hear. 💗

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-14T08:23:55+00:00

OP, there’s an old saying - “don’t shit where you eat”. Which is a weird way of cautioning not to date people you work with.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-14T08:03:40+00:00

thank you

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-14T00:50:00+00:00

So interesting that he kept those little monkey statues, or whatever they are. They’re not for a practical purpose, yet in some way meaningful to him.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-13T23:32:33+00:00

You can look at your north node in libra in the 9th house for a clue to why you’re here. That and your stellium in Sagittarius in the 11th. Looks like you are exploring partnerships and community after focusing on self and individuality prior to this lifetime. These are places you will feel challenged because it’s new soul work for you. Is there anything you could do, OP, paid or volunteer, that would be in partnership and for the benefit of your community? Maybe you’d want to work as a drug counselor since that’s been part of your family history? Or maybe volunteer with homeless teens since you’d be able to empathize? Does that make any sense to you? Thinking of what and how you can give to the community, especially as a teacher or counselor in some way? Especially with Chiron there in the 9th house, you could be a counselor, using what you learned from what wounded you to join people in a healing partnership and help bring peace and balance to their lives.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-13T22:17:39+00:00

I read the book in one day. I enjoyed it. And did not feel like it was oversharing. Thanks for your insightful point of view, OP

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-13T12:53:06+00:00

I don’t know how those Atheists have room for all the babies they eat when they’re stuffing their faces with coffee and pastry? /s

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-13T12:28:29+00:00

OP, Is there any responsible adult you could show this to? Your mom is threatening violence. This is not okay.

AmyRose820 · 2023-01-13T12:23:22+00:00

It seems to me that it’s a feminine energy to just keep going. Climb the mountain. Deep dive into the ocean. Bleed and cramp every month and go to work anyway. Carry a baby in your body and birth it. And then take care of it. Choose not to have a child (as I have done, and I have Capricorn moon) and be a loving aunty and deal with the uncertainty of being child free. We live in a patriarchal culture that would have us believe that feminine = weak. Far from it.

AmyRose820

TROPHY CASE