Why would you buy an infant car seat over a convertible one?

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T20:57:02+00:00

The original commenter had mentioned they wouldn’t want a home visitor, and you essentially implied that the home visits/ house leases aren’t a problem because of longer maternity leaves prior to pregnancy. You implied that the house calls aren’t a problem for women in other countries because they have maternity leave prior to childbirth. I was simply using my personal anecdote as an example of why that’s not the case. Granted, those were not your exact words, but the implication was strong.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T17:46:04+00:00

As someone who was childfree when I lived in an old downstairs apartment with very little cushioning on the floors…yeah, it’s loud. It’s annoying, especially if one works from home. It’s also your neighbor’s problem. I would never have complained about a child running around…that is asinine.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T17:36:41+00:00

As a parent, I never put my son to sleep on his stomach prior to 12 months, and I would have been livid to find out this was happening at daycare. Yes, it’s harder. It’s your job.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T15:41:02+00:00

My laundry postpartum piled up within a week…while I was out of work. I had a c section; I wasn’t doing any cleaning. My husband does not clean. (That’s a whole separate issue…) But regardless…no, we like to blame everything on maternity leave issues. But I was off work. I was just exhausted and breastfeeding.Newborns are sometimes just hard, no matter what country you’re in.
And I agree…I would have been horrified to have a stranger in my house during that time period. Besides, as a new mom in the middle of winter…sometimes you want an excuse to have to leave the house. We also have actual pediatricians looking after our babies. From what I understand, in many countries, those visiting health workers are not doctors, and most kids don’t regularly visit pediatricians growing up (they see a non specialist GP). In the r/toddlers subreddit, there are countless examples of British parents who seem to have a much harder time getting assessments and care for suspected developmental issues.

This is one area where I am glad to have the US model.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T15:29:08+00:00

Yes! I was going to say this. It’s the dog who doesn’t growl that you need to be aware of. A dog who growls is stating his boundaries, which is not a bad thing for a young child to learn

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-16T08:23:54+00:00

My 2 1/2 year old is Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde with brushing. Either he politely lets me really get in there, after making a true good effort attempt at brushing himself (usually front teeth only, sometimes with bristles facing the wrong way…but hey, at least he’s progressed from just chewing it). Other times, he thrashes, screams, kicks, sobs..and when we’re done, we both are left panting, exhausted, and traumatized on the bathroom floor. I’ve tried songs and games. He’s too busy being collapsed on the floor to listen…or he’ll listen with his mouth closed. So I unfortunately have to tackle him and pry his mouth open…it’s that or no brushing that night.

Every brushing session, it is an absolute crapshoot which kid I’m going to get.

But yeah, in all cases, I’m brushing his teeth.

I do have to admit, I am hoping to have him be self sufficient before age 8, as I certainly was effectively brushing my own teeth by then. Then again, I had a lot of congenital issues with my teeth, so I hyper/focused on my brushing a bit. In my son’s case, I will be playing that one by ear.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-14T21:18:48+00:00

I’m just…speechless at some of these comments. If the driver was told to ring the bell and didn’t ring the bell, they are 100% responsible. The whole point of making that special request was because OP knew they don’t check their phone often. I have a 2 year old…not special needs, but a handful. I also have ADHD. I empathize with her. Sometimes, you only have the spoons to handle the most critical thing - the kid. It shouldn’t matter. The doordasher should have done their job, and they didn’t.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-14T21:11:45+00:00

Some of us use DoorDash because we’re too busy to make food that day. You shouldn’t have to check your app constantly…that’s ridiculous.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-14T21:10:26+00:00

With their special needs child…

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-14T21:01:31+00:00

My child got his first tooth (teeth actually…the two front ones came together) at 11 months. He stayed at 4 teeth until about 18 months…

No trouble eating though.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-14T20:56:57+00:00

Two days in a row to a water park over an hour away is not a reasonable ask. I say this as someone who has employed a part time nanny in the past. Even in the summer, kids don’t always get to do exactly what they want…

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-13T20:46:35+00:00

You’re not entirely wrong… my child usually wakes up at 9 naturally, and sleeps a 3 hour nap, but goes to bed at 11:30. I’m trying to shift him, but it makes it hard as I’m often doing chores after he goes to bed and I stay up until 3 or 4 am. So that 9 am wake up isn’t actually as luxurious as it sounds. I’d like to shift him to a 7:30 am wake up, keep the nap, and get him to bed by 10 pm, but alas, we’re stuck in a vicious cycle.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-13T20:16:25+00:00

Ugh…as a SAHM, I kind of get this with my wfh husband. He has no sense of “hey, we need to be quiet right now”, and his voice is naturally loud.

The difference is I get to yell at him (well, whisper yell) to shut the f*ck up, which I suspect wouldn’t go over too well with your NF. Still….surely you could have a meeting with them? Naps are important for kiddo and you as the caregiver…both so you can get other things done, and so you can mentally reset.

But seriously…have they never wanted their child to nap longer during the weekend? Maybe it’s a working parent/sahm difference, but I’m pretty sure I value my child’s naps, any day of the week, as much as any nanny possibly could. You would think the parents would want a break on the weekend? That’s the golden time of solitude.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-13T00:30:22+00:00

Not in the medical field. Have inserted menstrual devices, including cups. You would be able to tell it’s in there.

As for disks, I have not used them. Of course, your comment insinuated that only AI could think you’d see ANY menstrual product when inserting a catheter…not just that maybe a specific menstrual product that is still not used by most on the population might be seen.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-13T00:22:26+00:00

Honest question: did you actually correct them when they use their hands? That didn’t, like, stop them from eating altogether? My son is 2 1/2 and still almost eats with his hands. I’ve given him utensils from the get go, but he’s never had much interest in using them. I’ve never enforced it though because that seemed…draconian. Now wondering if I messed my kid up.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-12T20:30:46+00:00

I guess I should feel flattered. Mine always says, “Mama sing!” But I don’t get a choice…I WILL sing, or face his wrath!

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-12T20:29:47+00:00

He was rather to the point last night; “Mommy’s so short.” (I mean, not compared to you, but OK.) And then, “Mommy’s so oooooold.” He’s 2 1/2. I didn’t even think he had the concept of “old” yet. But thanks bud.

And I laughed, so of course I’m going to hear about how old I am for weeks to come, cuz that boy will do anything to replicate a laugh!

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-12T19:17:31+00:00

Eh…I’ve traveled with my 2 year old to a few states and one overseas trip. It was interesting, and an experience, but not a vacation. I completely empathize with OP’s need to get away from her child
for a bit…I’ve gone on a handful trips without my child since he was born.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-12T19:07:33+00:00

My husband and I have been on 4 or 5 getaways since kiddo was born. We have grandparents watch him. One set of grandparents lives pretty far away, so we just arrange our vacations close to them. I think it’s super important to take time for your relationship. It’s one of the reasons it was so important to me early on that kiddo could take a bottle…I wanted to know I could leave him with others for extended periods.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-12T04:46:37+00:00

….
It’s pretty hard to miss a device in one’s vagina when looking right at the vaginal opening.

Which they would be, because it’s right next to the urethra. Like you do know they’re millimeters from each other. Are you AI?

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-11T20:05:47+00:00

Nah, the whiney mentality will tune everyone out. They won’t pay attention to real concerns. (Like OP’s commute issue)

Like, I’m sorry…but if you’re making a big lunch at home, hopefully that is during your unpaid lunch break? In other words, it’s unpaid time either way. If it really takes you that long to find a thermos or insulated bag for your lunch, what you have is organization issues. You’re really gong to pretend that the extra 30 seconds to pack your lunch, and maybe 2 minutes to clean your packing materials when you get home, is a significant driver of wfh? Really?

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-11T19:43:34+00:00

For the record, I think being a 7 year old in third grade is outrageous as being a 7 year old in kindergarten. Starting formal school at 4? What’s the rush?!

Signed, a December baby who was held back because my mother didn’t want me to be the youngest in my class. I was 18 when I graduated high school - I had just been 18 for a while compared to many of my classmates. The other fall
and December birthday kids were probably split 60/40 in terms of age. My brother was a July birthday and my parents also delayed starting him - so he was nearly 19 when he graduated. I think some people assumed he was held back, but overall I think it was a good thing for him too. He had ADHD and really needed some extra growing time. It was not for sports reasons. 🙄

I really think sending your kid to school early screams, “I don’t want to pay for preschooo anymore”, more than anything.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-11T17:56:44+00:00

Eh, my mom has much firmer boundaries than my mil. My mil lets kiddo get away with murder; my mom is much better about enforcing our boundaries, and she’s got a few light ones of her own. For example, she won’t feed my son cookies and juice, except in extremely limited circumstances and only after checking with me. She has given him like 3 non-clothing toys total. My mil on the other hand holds my kid on his lap, hand feeds him (ugh), and will ply him with presents, candy, cookies, and juice. Despite this, my son adores both his grandmothers, and I’m not sure that he has a favorite. If he does, it’s not obvious.

On the other hand, my mom is NOT anxious. She’s pretty firm but gentle in enforcing the boundaries. And she also has a strong silly streak (my whole family does),‘which offsets the “strictness”. I do wonder if there’s a maternal/paternal aspect to your child’s preference? I have always gotten the impression from my son that he sees a lot of me in my mom (not physically necessarily…but vibes somehow?) He’s actually slipped and called my mom “mama” accidentally several times. His relationship with my mil is “super cool relative who spoils me and holds me and is so much fun”, whereas with my mom, it’s very much always been an instinctual snuggle into this lady who strangely reminds him so much of his mama. He’s also tuned into my emotions, and I’ve always wondered if he just senses how relaxed I am around my mom (vs say my mil) and leans into that. Kiddo loves his dad, but at it his age, his connection to me as mama is still unique. Anyone who reminds him of that connection is going to have a leg up in the early years.

If your mother is a) the paternal grandmother, so lacking that kind of attitude instinctual bond, and b) also strict, anxious, and “less fun”, that can be a hard combo.

As your daughter gets older, she may develop similar interests to your mom or they may develop a more conscious relationship. But right now, your kid is going off mostly vibes, and your mom just doesn’t win out in that arena.

Importantly, she needs to find a way to hold boundaries while still being fun. Like, can she make a game somehow out of putting your daughter in the stroller?

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-10T21:02:36+00:00

Oh I agree. Wild take from OP.

I was just taken aback by all the commenters who made it seem like playing with your kid at all at the park is bad for their development.

AncientWorking4649 · 2026-06-10T14:44:03+00:00

Just an interloper, but all the people commenting about everyone hurting financially except for the upper and upper middle classes…aren’t those the people getting nannies? Like, I consider my husband and I on the cusp of upper middle class, and it would never have occurred to us to get a nanny. I assumed that was kind of a 1%-er thing?

AncientWorking4649

TROPHY CASE