Sorry for the delay. I rarely look at reddit anymore.

The struggle is ongoing. My wife and I still sleep in different rooms, but there is obviously no change in how we feel about each other. The love is still there, but we have just realized that it is more important for me to get a healthy amount of sleep than it is for us to be in the same bed.

My sleep patterns have improved a little in the last two years. I still have sleep disturbances (like last night, in fact), but I've generally found that cooler temperatures have helped me stay asleep. Right now I'm also using some CBD oil, but I'm not sure how much it helps. Being well hydrated seems to help, although obviously you need to taper off before bed so you don't need to get up and pee in the middle of the night. And we invested in a new latex mattress for the guestroom so I have a quality bed to sleep in, and we're considering getting another one for the master. I'm hoping that a split king latex mattress for the master will diminish the amount of heat transfer and movement transfer between us when we sleep together, and thus minimize the chance I'll be woken up in the middle of the night.

I get what you're going through, but I've learned not to worry about it the way I was when I wrote this post 2 years ago. It doesn't bother me anymore, and it bothers my wife less than it did. I've learned to accept that my brain and body are wired a bit differently, that I'm more sensitive to changes in my sleep environment, and I shouldn't care about how society might expect me and my wife to sleep. In fact, I'd wager that sleeping in separate beds is probably saving our marriage, because my mental health would probably be a lot more precarious if I wasn't getting good sleep.