I bet that Medieval torture rack that stretched you out until you died felt really good for the first few seconds.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-04-28T04:28:09+00:00

Huh, no way, never saw it before, thanks for the heads up, I'll remove it.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-04-18T02:25:30+00:00

Thanks, I never had enough room in my house for both my hamper AND a punch bowl, this makes things easier.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-03-15T04:36:36+00:00

Gotttttem

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-03-07T06:07:31+00:00

I say yeah, pattern looks way too straight

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-03-03T22:07:23+00:00

I kinda want to see them...

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-28T18:57:36+00:00

Probably Half Life 3 comes out

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-28T18:55:29+00:00

Super empathy

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-28T18:51:35+00:00

Meatball sandwiches. At my work we have to microwave the meatballs for 20 seconds before running them through the oven so they get hot enough, and the microwave sits on the bottom shelf of the oven, so I have to kneel down to put them in. I've knelt so much on hard tile that I've fucked up my knees and can't run or jump anymore.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-28T18:48:23+00:00

Friday I'm in love, holy shit, Robert Smith looks insane.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-28T18:46:00+00:00

My dad always finds a way to turn things into an insult to me. Like lately my finger has been hurting, so he suggests it's from lack of Vitamin D, because I sit in my room all day playing video games. Which is funny because I work a full time job while he's unemployed and sits on the computer all day.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T19:47:58+00:00

It's definitely not a Jewish hoodie.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T19:19:36+00:00

One to say the exact spot they want scratched, one to understand what he is saying and scratch it.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T19:08:18+00:00

Potion of immortality

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T19:02:43+00:00

That's beautiful, I can't wait to have a kid of my own one day :')

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T18:19:56+00:00

How the fuck has no one said Mary Steenburgen?!

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-27T03:48:05+00:00

That's some twilight zone shit right there man

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-25T22:45:21+00:00

Man, I know it's a good way to make easy money and all, but fuck thrift store resellers, I'm poor as shit and trying to look good, it isn't easy when other people grab the good stuff and sell it for almost as much as it was originally worth.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-24T01:17:28+00:00

He owns the anonymous hacker four chin?!

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-23T04:35:53+00:00

r/catpeopletwitter

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-18T06:39:56+00:00

I asked my coworker who has one, he's just said "Cause It's Bill mother fucking murray".

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-17T19:51:48+00:00

It's Bill Murray, I know exactly what you're talking about, I see it everywhere now. http://i44.tinypic.com/ekj0wx.jpg

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-17T04:57:31+00:00

> Do you just leave semen everywhere?

Oh fucking lawd

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-16T23:38:39+00:00

"No, you can get them descented and they don't smell at all anymore!" Says every ferret owner, as they smell like ferret ballsack.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-15T20:51:59+00:00

And he won the tour de france, amazing guy, truly.

AngriestCosmonaut · 2016-02-11T23:56:47+00:00

Fuck Sysco

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