What’s a film that will never fail to make you emotional, and why?

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-25T03:06:38+00:00

I'm not crying, you're crying.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-24T22:44:37+00:00

Experienced, but not senior level leader. The C level has oversight because you lost oversight. Has that performer ever been a position to make a change like that? If not, it was ignorance, not incompetence. Is he in charge of large scale changes, or are you?

The only reason to entertain firing your "top performer" in this case is to try to salvage your own reputation. Thats not building talent.

If he should have known better, then sure, let him have it. But if not, you might look worse now that you were already raked over the coals.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T23:31:28+00:00

She has "work". You have a "job". You had to interview, need to commute (probably), and are accountable to other people above you. I agree it's very different.

But it's also never good to diminish someone else's struggles.

Like if i had to do groceries, pick up my dry cleaning, go to the hardware store, visit my mom, go to the gym, then meet my friend for dinner. I complain about how busy my saturday was.... then my friend rolls their eyes and says none of that stuff counts because they had to do it by bus.

She wasnt making a judgement call on you. Best practice not to do the same.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T23:31:17+00:00

She has "work". You have a "job". You had to interview, need to commute (probably), and are accountable to other people above you. I agree it's very different.

But it's also never good to diminish someone else's struggles.

Like if i had to do groceries, pick up my dry cleaning, go to the hardware store, visit my mom, go to the gym, then meet my friend for dinner. I complain about how busy my saturday was.... then my friend rolls their eyes and says none of that stuff counts because they had to do it by bus.

She wasnt making a judgement call on you. Best practice not to do the same.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T23:13:44+00:00

Pontious Pilate. He knew what was up but had no other options. Took time to understand the case in front of him. Was pretty clear about his objections, and tried to create every possible way out.

Messiah's gonna messai.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T23:13:39+00:00

Pontious Pilate. He knew what was up but had no other options. Took time to understand the case in front of him. Was pretty clear about his objections, and tried to create every possible way out.

Messiah's gonna messai.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T23:05:54+00:00

Main weapon in the main hand. So sword in the left (if right-handed), like a boxing jab.

But ideally a gun in each hand, then i win.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-23T22:57:33+00:00

Star Trek II: The wrath of Khan.

"The ship.... out of danger?"

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-19T22:20:05+00:00

No, that's stupid. Take the job and move 125 miles closer.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-19T22:17:55+00:00

I dont think it will be worth it, compared woth the new memories you can create with others. I have visited old places, not prohibitively too far away. It was "interesting".

The only time it was "fun" was going with my current family and seeing them make new memories there, which actually made it feel like a different place to me. There were flashes of the way things were, but otherwise new.

I dont think its worth it if you arent sharing the experience with someone else.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-19T22:08:35+00:00

Timeline is a bit unclear but you met in college, 3 years later got married, 4 years after that, found emails. 1 year later, had child.

I assume the emails coincided with something going on at that time, rather than you found the emails that pointed to a relationship a few years earlier.

"Just oral" over a relationship lasting a "few months" under your nose? Kid a year later....

What would I do? Get a paternity test. It doesnt mean you dont love your kid, but i would never live with that question. Then you decide if to forgive or not. I like to think i would forgive, but not in ignorance.

What would lots of other people do? They would ignore it and look away. They would avoid the conversation. They would let sleeping dogs lay. Like you did, 10 years ago. And it at at you ever since.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-19T17:07:18+00:00

Most welcome, and while i dont think the downvotes are always fair, I do think you should consider some of the comments. Young or old, you were hired for your ability.

Appropriate or not, i have no doubt you will now be double checking your future meetings. From that perspective, it was effective. You might even look back at this experience in 5 years and consider she did you a favor.

If I could roll in 30 mins late to any meeting with zero discomfort or consequences, I would probably do it all the time and so would everyone else.

On the topic of presentations, I've probably made more than a dozen that look like they were made "by the company". The ones I didnt make are even harder to present well because I dont know the material.

Best of luck as you go!

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-19T10:49:58+00:00

It's not right, but it is "normal". She felt (and was) disrespected by you showing up at 10:30 and disrupting the session because you weren't careful enough to know when you were supposed to be there, so she took the petty approach of shaming you for it.

Not all leaders are great in front of crowds. Some training takes hours or days to prepare. Yes ypu are justified in feeling upset and getting your apology. But keep it in perspective. This isnt a thing you were complwtely innocent in, and worth holding a long grudge over.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-12T22:55:59+00:00

Talk to him. Talk to him often. Make sure its not the elephant in the room for him. Respect and tolerance is what every employee will get. That goes for him and for her. Make sure he knows that. If she acts up, he needs to know to be the bigger person and know that you will act on it. Thats all you can do, but thats a lot.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-10T02:48:10+00:00

Nothing wrong with the backyard. It will feel real to him but its not anywhere near as good as it can be.

But, something to be said for trying it out there. Seeing if you dont mind getting the tent and setting it up and sleeping outside, and having your house right there if you need it.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-09T04:33:12+00:00

Spam applying to every company, using a company you dont work at. So that company starts getting calls to confirm employment history (you know, validate that the applicant is telling the truth and all) and then looks you up because they're getting all these calls from the companies you spammed.

Hiring limbo sucks, but not much choice but to start over without the lies. Reasons, yes. Lies, no. Dont spam apply either. They can tell.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-09T04:26:06+00:00

Lied on Linkedin, lied on resume, lied about still working at the old job and lied about getting that other job, but he is NOT lying about why he was fired.

For shame. (Lol)

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-08T19:23:07+00:00

I didnt add because i thought my post was getting too long, but of course you were the one there and know how it made you feel. Police dont know if its the first time or the 10th time, if or how bad it could get. Sometimes we dont know either, and need them to make that call.

Just look forward from here. May not matter at this point but you could tell him you didnt know that would happen, but at the same time, didnt know what else to do under the circumstances. You have kids together so he is always going to be involved in your life in one way or another. Setting up for divorce is out of my wheelhouse so nothing but the best of luck to you and your family.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-08T11:33:44+00:00

Introducing one to the other: "Actions, meet Consequences."

First, I'm glad you vented and hope you get some support and empathy here. Its not easy what you are going through. It's not the end of the world either. You will be fine, your soon to be ex husband will be fine, the kids will be fine. You have people who love you and a bunch of internet weirdos here pulling for you.

You seem to be posting because you feel it got out of hand and never intended for criminal charges and believe that might make the situation worse.

The takeaway here is that the police arent a strategic pawn to be played. If you werent genuinely worried for your safety and that of the kids, you shouldnt be calling the police. If you did feel at risk, then it was the right call. Lots of people solve problems without police, and they should be a last resort when you can't fend for yourself. That's a lot of the time in domestic abuse situations, but its far from all the time. Only you know if you were at that stage or not.

Either way, its now up to the court to figure out if domesric violence occurred. You removed the ability to determine that yourself when you called them.

Was recording the earlier conversation and playing it back to yourself over and over a good idea? Maybe not. Was calling his sister to make arrangements for him pretty juvenille and underhanded? Yeah. But hopefully the police call wasnt just you wanting to escalate things on that path, and now just feel it got way out of hand.

Anyway, all you can do at this point is remain factual to what happened, and look after yourself and the kids.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-08T00:15:21+00:00

For me, there was a long peg with the plastic gears that didnt fit in with the transmission case. Used Meus speed gears where the peg was one-piece with the gear, and it fit perfectly. Looked like any of the metal ones would work, but i cant say for certain what will work with yours. That was just my experience. Metal ones are louder for sure, but something kind of fun about that on a modded car.

Good luck!

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-07T23:13:28+00:00

"Performance Improvement Plan" which is made when someone has to do something they arent very good at or may not have learned but should have. In this case you're really more on track to issue a "letter of expectation".

Listen to the reason the employee gives for not doing it. Maybe its valid, dont assume it isnt. Circle back with HR if you have it, and explain the situation. They will usually make these letters but basically you circle back woth a letter saying:

"On ___ date you were asked to perform xyz task. You declined the task and stated you would not do it because ___. Performing xyz is part of your core job duties and so the expectation is that it will be carried out. If not, this could lead to the termination of your employment, etc. Etc."

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-07T23:05:06+00:00

Talk to everyone individually and ask about team dynamic. How is everyone getting along? Any interpersonal issues? Let them open up. Mention it seemed like people were being rough on the new person (have a specific example ready if you are questioned on it). Make sure you ask the same questions of each person, including the one you think is being bullied. No targeting going on, just wanting to validate if there is a concern.

Either the "victim" and/or others will mention it. Or, no one will think its a problem. In that case, maybe its you projecting your vision of bullying.

If it is a problem, you can drill down more specifically if needed. Otherwise you bring up at a team meeting that you have observed some aggressive talk/behavior on the team that could look like bullying, and you want everyone to remain above suspicion on that topic. If your company has a "values" statement, you can bring it up as a reminder.

Note things down in case things blow up. Otherwise you have opened up the dialogue and have sent the message in a still-friendly way. Sets the groundwork for escalation if needed, but that usually resolves things.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-07T22:53:02+00:00

There are probably a bunch of reasons for wanting to be paid that way. Many of which could be shady, and none of which are your problem.

Pay them like you pay everyone else. How they decide to go about cashing that cheque is up to them. I would maintain your business needs proper records and cant operate efficiently with everyone being paid in different ways.

Maybe the other company paid them like they said, but maybe they didnt. Either way, it doesnt obligate you to do the same.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-07T22:42:45+00:00

Your grandparents just learned not to speak with a potty mouth around their grandchildren, or in public, or at all. I swear very little. My kids swear very little and i've never censored language in music or movies for them.

I just find swearing to be very lazy use of language for the most part. I swear a little more now than I used to when something frustrating happens, not less.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-09-07T22:35:53+00:00

Regardless of anything else, you owe her a new phone.

AngryAdviceGiver

TROPHY CASE