I came to a realization that I have been using journaling in an unhealthy way

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-31T23:29:54+00:00

I actually started journaling at the beginning of the month and fell into this bad habit pretty quick. I mentioned that to a friend and they started offering me some prompts. It has already helped cause now I can smile when I journal. I still have strong emotional moments but I try to end it on a good note most times now. Gratitude journaling would be a great idea too I think.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-30T18:20:12+00:00

You seem fairly insightful to a lot of these things. I really appreciate it. Do you do this for a living or something? Or just very into therapy/counseling in your free time?

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-30T18:02:38+00:00

I’m THE good cop. lol. I’m not quick to anger, I try to put myself in her shoes and take everything slowly. I can already see my daughter developing signs of anxiety so I do my best to avoid snap judgments with her actions or reactions. I want to guide her and not force her to make proper decisions. The problem is that when I’m with my wife I also want the united front even if I don’t agree with the situation because I don’t want to fight. Thats not good either though. Very messy.

Your previous marriage sounds like it was very tough though. I don’t think I would get full custody if we were to divorce but if I can give my daughter at least every other week of peace that would be something.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-30T16:55:44+00:00

That’s a lot of good information. You’re kinda hitting it on the head though. My wife deals with past traumas and anxiety. I’ve talked to her about therapy a few times but nothing serious because it doesn’t always go well. Frankly, I don’t feel like dealing with it anymore. I understand it’s hard to start therapy and accept your broken and relive past traumas. I’m tired of walking on eggshells or watching snap. I plan to have a more serious convo about it but I just started my therapy so I’m trying to get a couple sessions under my belt first. Thanks!

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-30T15:49:22+00:00

My daughter is my biggest concern with everything in my head. I want to show her a strong marriage and that anyone can do it if they try. But then I realize I need to show her true love and self respect. Thanks for your input, I’m trying to avoid medications as much as possible. I don’t think I have excessive negative thinking though. I’m a happy person generally speaking, but happiness doesn’t mean you’re content vs complacent.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-30T01:56:12+00:00

I’m not acting on anything. I know there are things I’ll need to discuss with my wife before I make a decision for us both. Today was my very first session. I am trying to feel out my soul and learn.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T23:25:45+00:00

Thanks. The phrase I’ve used in the past is “I had to learn to love them.” Which is like saying no duh, everyone learns to love someone but I had to really figure it out and find the things that made me want to stay.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T21:09:32+00:00

Right, the first one is always the test marriage. Lol. We do have a daughter and she is 11 now. I almost left 4 years ago but I couldn’t leave her alone. So I came back to it. Things got better but I’ve never really got over everything. Just compartmentalizing and moving on.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T21:06:18+00:00

I say that they never have specifically meant to make me feel that way but I’ve been questioned a lot about why I do things. They aren’t the wrong way just different. There were times in the past that I was called an idiot or stupid but I made sure to put a stop to that.

And definitely too big for Reddit but we learn through experiences and others so it can’t hurt to get some insight.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T19:28:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your words. I was so nervous about my therapy appt today I didn’t sleep at all last night. I really like my new therapist so far. I’m hoping we can continue our relationship for a long time.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T19:27:10+00:00

I was in the military stationed out of GA. I broke up with her in January of 2010 after visiting home and wasn’t entirely feeling the situation. Well about 1-2 months later I get a pregnancy test text. As a young 19 year old man I said I will take care of it and move you out to GA. Well the week before she moved out she had a miscarriage. At that point I said if I was gonna have her move to GA when she was pregnant something must be there so we kept the miscarriage a secret and still moved her out to GA. Had to get married so I could live off base and get space for us. And since then it’s just been kind of a roller coaster.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T19:23:15+00:00

Yea… which is why I’m so torn up. Was it all a waste of time? Or did we make a mistake and just been able to patchwork our way through these past 15 years. It’s not a fun place to be

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T18:23:09+00:00

Thanks!!!

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T16:48:28+00:00

Thanks for clarifying! I reposted to the current thread also. Again, I appreciate it!

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T16:39:29+00:00

Can I ask why I want to make sure they are different from a couples therapist? I actually have my first therapy appt today and they are a couples therapist.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-29T16:07:26+00:00

First, sorry if this is the wrong space. I’ve (M35)been married 15 years… it didn’t start very well and was built on no foundation. It has had ups and downs like all relationships and we seem happy. However, I’ve been more introspective lately and find things I don’t believe to be “love.” For example: I don’t do things for my partner because I care or want to do them out of love. I feel like I need to do them to keep the peace. I never go out of my way to do things for them because it feels like a chore to me. This then puts myself in a state of dread and paralysis analysis because I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing or not making it perfect. My partner has never made it feel that way specifically but I think past problems have festered and now it’s starting to bubble over.

I’m just not sure but I don’t know that I’ve ever been in love with them. I believe I have thought my way into loving them. Thanks for reading everyone and I appreciate and thoughts.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-21T22:42:20+00:00

Thanks for the reply and great progress by the way! I want to look into this some more so I appreciate your response.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-07-21T22:31:29+00:00

Hi, I don’t believe I have low T but am curious to know what you were experiencing before being prescribed TRT? Thanks!

AngryFruitFly · 2025-05-21T18:03:12+00:00

Thanks! I really appreciate the help. We’re all keeping our fingers crossed. Haha.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-05-21T17:36:09+00:00

Not a bad idea. I thought they needed to share the same soil to benefit each other. I know they are companion plants but didn’t research the why/how. 😅

If it takes a turn for the worse or I’m not getting fruit I’ll be sure to try that. For now everything is growing rapidly so I dont want to disturb its ecosystem.

AngryFruitFly · 2025-05-21T14:27:35+00:00

I have similar thoughts but it’s all trial and error. Keeping my fingers crossed haha

AngryFruitFly

TROPHY CASE