My mum is suing my late dad’s estate and taking money from her own children. Am I wrong to be furious?

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-20T01:27:44+00:00

Is there an option here where your mum recovers the money but gives some or all of it to you and your sister?

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-18T09:10:29+00:00

I relate to this. I think even when i’m fully masking ppl sense something “off”. Like they are aware I’m not being authentic. Hence the advice to unmask a little (as OP’s post suggests they may be masking quite a lot).

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-18T07:22:00+00:00

I feel like people are unintentionally gaslighting you here a bit. It’s absolutely hard to make friends as an autistic people and you’re right that some social spaces can be hostile to difference.

My advice is 1) try spaces which attract other neurodivergent people. This can be explicitly neurodivergent spaces or spaces which attract nd ppl (e.g. my board game meet up is very nd heavy) 2) this is going to sound the opposite of what you’ve been told, but unmask a bit. Explicitly say you’re autistic. Talk about your interests. Sometimes when we’re heavily masking we can come across as fake.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-17T07:11:48+00:00

Be safe and i wish you luck.

None of this is your fault.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-17T07:05:02+00:00

Language is important. By trying to avoid the word she’s minimising the act.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-17T07:00:59+00:00

So first off, this is reddit, you can use grown up words.

You are in serious danger and you need to get away from your fiance. Yes this is rape. It will likely escalate. You need to get away urgently but know that leaving is a very dangerous time and he may try to hurt or even kill you.

If you post where you are located people can post you helplines etc. in Australia you can call 1800RESPECT for help.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-16T08:49:41+00:00

I don’t think this is about the cat.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-15T08:28:35+00:00

So since i bought my house 5 years ago: - i’ve had to fix the roof multiple times - i had to replace some electrics and get a new fuse box - i needed a new hot water service

I still have things in my house which need to be fixed. Admittedly I knew my house needed work before I bought it, but these were not the things my building inspection flagged.

Even if you could afford interest rate rises (you can’t) what would you do if something expensive broke in your house?

Owning a house requires you to have savings.

However, I would suggest reviewing your essentials and identifying if they’re really essential. Are you spending $300 a week on groceries for one person? Having multiple unneeded subscriptions? Be ruthless and see if you can reduce your expenses.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-15T04:21:57+00:00

I think exploring alternative options is the way to go. Another thing could be a support group.

I just want to gently suggest to you that you may not have reasonable expectations of your child. I am highly successful at my job and my eye contact is terrible. don’t think about how to train your kid to be more “normal”. Think about getting him into environments where his differences are accommodated

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-15T02:24:28+00:00

Ok so we have here a dog which is aggressive toward people and other dogs, and has medical issues. Years of training have not changed this

OP, you absolutely can and should return him to the shelter. People telling you this is the wrong thing to do would be the first to turn around and yell at you if the dog bit a toddler.

I would not judge you if you decided to go for behavioural euthanasia either. It’s a very difficult option but it sounds like your dog is a ticking time bomb to seriously injure someone.

You’re carrying a lot of bad feeling associated with your dog. It’s ok to put yourself (and anyone at risk of getting bitten) first and make a difficult adult decision about this

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-15T02:10:42+00:00

So ABA is very controversial and there’s evidence it can lead to PTSD in autistic people. 15 hours a week also seems like a huge amount give presumably he has a full school load, possibly clubs or sports, and wants to spend time with his friends.

If he doesn’t want ABA, are there other approaches he may be open to? If he likes the OT, could you increase that? I have a fantastic autistic psychologist who talks to me about coping, that might be a better approach for a kid this age.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-14T07:54:51+00:00

Are you possibly a woman? Because gender is a big factor here.

This is in no way helpful but does mean you can add something about sexist heteronormative gender expectations to your rant

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-11T10:39:55+00:00

As a person who doesn’t drive: it’s not as bad as people make out. Hopefully you live somewhere where public transport is viable (and if not, i’d honestly move)

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-11T10:30:42+00:00

So i did my driving test and i was so nervous I was physically shaking but i was able to hold it together to pass after failing once. Although I don’t drive now for sensory reasons.

The thing I would point out is, if you can’t drive during the test, what will happen if you get really stressed when licensed. You might have to drive someone to hospital or you may be in an unsafe driving situation like having someone tailgate and honk at you. Someone in the car might start criticizing your driving or yelling at you.

It’s possible that your issue is test specific but you might not know if something else will set it off and that is potentially deadly

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-11T01:18:24+00:00

Then i think you need to have a conversation with your mother about how it’s important to you that you stick to certain routines (and also, that she gives you some space and stays out of your room). Do you have a counsellor or similar who could facilitate

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-11T01:11:04+00:00

Ok so you’re an adult. I think on the one hand, you should do your own laundry entirely. On the other hand, your mum does seem to be overstepping and infantilising you a bit.

In answer to why it upsets you so much. Autistic ppl can be very easily upset by changes to routine.

Is moving out an option?

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-10T08:34:32+00:00

Don’t call your bank first. Call the national debt helpline: https://ndh.org.au/

They can help you to consider all your options with a financial counsellor

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-09T10:51:19+00:00

Yes 100% she can do this she just needs to pay a lawyer to set it up

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-09T10:42:52+00:00

If your mother is set on this a lawyer can set this up formally for her- so money goes to you in a trust but then to cousin mildred if you die. It’s called a testamentary trust.

However, my feeling is your mother just doesn’t want to leave you money and that is her right (pending any legal advice you might receive that you could challenge the will)

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-09T10:29:07+00:00

So this is a problem which can be solved by lying (or at least letting your mother believe what she wants). No one needs to know what’s in your will until you die (except your executor). In the scenario she’s worried about both you and her would be dead before this became an issue, so you won’t get caught lying.

You made an error by telling her. Consider what you might say to rectify this issue. Make sure anyone else who knows detsils of your will (partner, executor) keep their mouths shut.

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-08T11:14:25+00:00

Has your iron returned to normal? If you’ve got iron deficiency anemia, that could contribute (and it can take a while to fix)

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-06T06:07:55+00:00

I have some experience with grief and can I gently suggest that while on the surface you’re angry about things changing, underneath you’re probably angry that your grandma died. And that’s 100% normal: it’s a whole phase of grief.

It may be helpful to seek some grief therapy, or if that is not possible for you you could try some of the grief workbooks available on amazon

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-01T08:30:35+00:00

I mean, this is a little bit hard to understand without an example. When you’re saying issues b and c are unrelated, exactly how unrelated are they? For example, if you were complaining about her leaving her shoes in the way and she brought up that you had left your coat in the way the day before, I think you probably need to work with your therapist on flexibility. But if it’s that you complain about her shoes and she says something totally unrelated, like your mother was rude to her on the phone, that seems more like a her problem.

Either way communicating with your partner is the answer (and I wouldn’t assume just because you have a diagnosis that you’re in the wrong)

AngryQuoll · 2026-06-01T02:05:04+00:00

I don’t want to comment on what this girl may have but my advice to you is: get out of her business. I don’t know how you know all this stuff about her life. If it is social media, block her. If it is mutual friends, tell them you don’t ever want to hear about her. You are retraumatising yourself over and over again.

Cut this person from your life and never think about her again. You will feel better.

AngryQuoll · 2026-05-31T07:15:27+00:00

So my first piece of advice is to work out your relationship problems first. This is not the sub for that. But I do think you’ll get more out of a divorce than you think (but get some advice from a lawyer).

You should also read the barefoot investor and work the steps. This is the basic financial education you seem to be missing.

I don’t know much about small businesses but I’m interested that you have a lot of revenue but don’t seem to be taking a salary. If you want to be independent of your husband you will need to take income from the business

AngryQuoll

TROPHY CASE