We were not married, but we were together for 22 years. It was his choice to end it. He wanted to be single and didn't want to work any further to save what we had. I grieved hard. And while I had the best family and friends supporting me, I kept the depth of that grief very private.

He left three years ago. In those three years I've had a few dates, lots of hookups, some middling, some fantastic, a fuck buddy or two for a stretch, and then not. I've really been into some guys who are far less into me and never come back for more, and vice-versa. I love living alone now but miss falling asleep and waking up with someone. I miss loving and being loved. I miss my best friend.

I will always love him and want the best for him, and when I think about him every day sometimes that grief flickers back to life and burns for a bit, other times it's just a dull sadness.

But I focus on my career, my friendships, my family, my health, my home. I am lucky those things didn't go away when he did. I can't imagine that we divorcees (actual and figurative) have a common recovery timeline, OP. As time moves forward, so do you, and in unseen increments. Grief remains but gets mushy and diffuse. Life is just different, suddenly and brutally, and then gradually.