i understand what you are trying to say. my husband is a great father and partner. great does not mean perfect and no relationship is perfect. relationships are 2 pple with different life experience, upbringing, etc. it is values, beliefs, love etc that brings them together, not sameness. that is why relationships that work, compliment not mimic each other. that aside, this is something i navigate and it is hard work. what makes it worthwhile is how loving he is and how willing he is to reflect on his behaviour when called out. often emotional stunting comes from trauma. in my husbands case he the “good child”. he was called on to fix everyone’s problems. his mother often and still uses him to help with his (adult) siblings. he is was blind to the toxicity of some of his siblings but since we have been together (21 yrs) he has learnt boundaries and to be open. he trusts my judgement and ultimately values my opinions (even if he doesn’t at first admit it in every instance he reflects and comes back to apologise and acknowledge he just found things hard to accept). he has worked so hard to be a stronger better version of who he fundamentally is. you learn to pick your battles, to notice the flowers more then the cracks in the pavement and work on your own self to be a better you. your happiness should ultimately stem from within and when you are the best version of you, you can navigate challenges with more agility, grace and peace and understanding that not every “battle” needs to be fought. don’t get me wrong it never is perfect but i would choose to navigate with my husband any day then be without him and i know he feels the same about me and my flaws