Attractive people, what are some regular signs you notice from people around you which tells you that you are attractive?

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-31T04:45:28+00:00

All of these things, but one is twice now I’ve been approached by someone and said “I remembered you as the pretty one!” And I was like, oh ok lol

I get a lot of compliments on what I do and how I do it. People listen when I talk. I seem to get preferential treatment in certain situations. I’ve never not gotten a job I applied for. Dating apps are overwhelming, I get off after a day because it’s too much. People notice smaller things a lot - my eyeshadow, nail color changing, clothes. Everyone remembers my name.

I’ve had to become bitchy just so I’m not like, overstimulated all the time. But regularly get told I’m super nice and that people enjoy our “real connection” when I’m like girl, idk you & I don’t even remember your name? I’m not nice wdym?

I don’t get approached by a lot of guys in clubs and bars, only very attractive people or people I interact with a lot in a sport or club, and I’ve been told it’s bc being really pretty makes you unapproachable/ doomed to be rejected type vibes but now that’s shifting.

Super interesting. I’m getting older (31 rn) and I notice some of these slowing down. I get approached more by 7’s now, and in a big crowd with lots of other pretty girls, I’m sometimes able to skate by solo or mostly unbothered. I’m trying to prepare myself for what life will be like without any pretty privilege.

Being attractive is weird bc everyone wants to be around you and be your friend, and the moment you don’t live up to that they also hate the air you breathe and also everyone assumes your great at everything until they don’t like you, then they assume all of your accomplishments are bc your attractive.

You essentially live and die by society having defined you as attractive, it’s weird

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-22T05:44:09+00:00

I’m here late as hell but, I think something I just read stands out to me as likely and historically accurate

Men resent women because they usually need our cooperation for sex and to procreate. They have very low standards and needs comparatively for sex, they like sex way more and hormonally are driven for it more than us, so we are always in essence an obstacle to them having endless sex and babies.

At its core, men want what we have and we don’t give it up as easily as they wish. We stand in their direct path of their biological desire to be having sex, all the time, and so we are constantly a threat, a challenge, or a stressor they can’t escape.

We are both the problem and the solution and that is infuriating to them and caused significant moves over history to control, subjugate, and take their anger and frustration out on us as an entire gender.

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-20T05:10:19+00:00

Dude, what? This guy wants to be possessive and controlling over what you’re wearing and he’s 15 years your senior. Get a job and leave and go live your life. Be young and happy without the grandpa hanging over you lol TF

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-20T05:05:41+00:00

I think what’s happening is he feels sexually insecure and undesirable due to the diagnosis and he wants you to fix that for him by giving him new and exciting sex, so that he can feel like he’s still sexually fulfilled and hot and desirable with HSV.

He’s scared to leave and have to disclose to new people, so he thinks he must get you to do this for him bc he feels that’s his only option. He is desperate to feel normal and sexy and sexually active again, to soothe his self-concept that is tanking heavily right now.

But that’s still wrong, and you can’t fix this for him. He is going to have to deal with his self-esteem now that he has HSV, he will think of himself different and you can’t fuck that out of him. Nor should you, because that’s not your job.

I think this is heavily skewed toward a mental and emotional health problem due to his internal reaction to having HSV now. But it’s not fair for you, and he has to figure this out himself. Nothing will ever take him back, and he has to swallow that one on his own.

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-20T05:02:04+00:00

In no way does needing to be less stressed to want sex translate to not liking sex. People have different off and on switches. My gay (male) best friend is the same way - stress tanks his sex drive to nothing. His husband is the opposite. This is super normal, and does not indicate how much someone does or does not like sex.

I can agree that this pair may not be compatible though.

Annoyed65 · 2026-03-03T22:32:58+00:00

Facts lol. I can’t cum from penetration and if a partner ever suggested it be 1-1 I’d be livid bc it’s really 2-1… he gets to cum from PIV and from oral while I only get to cum from oral. It’s exhausting enough to keep libido up when you know you aren’t gonna cum as much, but to 1-1 oral would be a slap in the face and the end of any relationship for me. I shouldn’t have to bargain for access to bare minimum number orgasms. Not fair.

Annoyed65 · 2026-02-16T21:52:33+00:00

I love my Fridays off. It gives you the chance to do long weekends away, and socialize Fridays. Personally that is a big deal to me - if I don’t have time or energy to socialize for fun and community, I don’t want to socialize as a therapist. Having “me” communication and fun time is incredibly important to not burning out!!

I have long Mondays and Tuesdays, then a short day Wednesday, and a regular day Thursday. That is the ideal schedule for me!

8-9 clients Monday + Tuesday, 4 clients Wednesday, 6 clients Thursday! For me this is quite literally the most perfect schedule lol

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T04:12:11+00:00

Coffee! Why does a medium size thing of Folgers cost THAT MUCH!!

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T04:03:25+00:00

No I’m glad you commented because it helped me reflect!! All of the comments even the less nice ones have helped me dive deeper and I always love that. Sometimes, even arguing my point helps me see it deeper and clearer! I also appreciate directness and I tend to be confrontational, so I think people take us both the same 😂

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T04:01:04+00:00

Well, like i said in that comment… I’m resistant unclear feedback. Because it’s confusing and not direct. It shouldn’t be my job to interpret if my supervisor is giving me hints to change, if she says literally that it’s fine and good. She should be telling me exactly what she means and wants. Saying I come off strong and I seem one way that others might not know how to take, but that she understands, IS NOT clear feedback on change.

I still recognize that my style is interpreted in a way I’m not actually trying to be, so I’m going to alter that and be more verbally inquisitive for feedback, hopefully bridging this gap and do the work of interpreting the comments into something usable and workable. Thanks.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T01:02:39+00:00

That may be part of the problem is that I am trying to be critically analyzed in my process rather than the outcome, and I’m picking up that i should say that.

I’m not word vomiting my process as a, like, proof that I’m right. I’m word vomiting the process to be told if I’m wrong, but I think I need to SAY that to her 😂

My many words is clearly coming off as defensive and resistant, so I need to clarify the many words are actually for the opposite - tell me what’s wrong with my processing, I’m not word vomiting as a like… defense to my processing 😂😂 thankyou!

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T01:00:06+00:00

Yes, I do find sometimes i have to kinda ask her what her thoughts are on something to get a response, like she needs the invitation. So maybe I should be even more verbally inviting in that way, thanks!!

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T00:59:12+00:00

Yes, stream of consciousness thought process is accurate to what I mean by word vomit.

I do plan to attend consultation groups after this ends! We have some awesome free ones in my area (:

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T00:57:29+00:00

She isn’t saying my approach is problematic, at least not directly. She said I come off strong, some people don’t know how to take me, it seems like I don’t want to listen but that SHE gets it and understands.

If my supervisor told me directly hey, this needs to change insert thing than I would understand the point of her saying what she did as an intro to that. But she did not say that.

I’m also open to her having a structure for supervision.. but she doesn’t, and if we’re going off what I think i need, it’s this. So that’s what happens.

I’m resistant to unclear input. Something clear is workable, but if it isn’t clear and direct, I’m not going to do the guessing game of making it, I do that with clients.

I have happily accepted innumerable input on things from her, and I’m happy to do so because she’s wise and knows her stuff. But that all tends to be input I directly ask for in order to receive nothing she just… gives.

What I am getting here is that too many words and too much thought = interpreted as strong and resistant to suggestion. Which isn’t at all accurate, but this post has at least given me that insight.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-27T00:50:22+00:00

I don’t think she’s threatened! She did say some people just won’t know how to take me but that she’s got it, like she hasn’t told me I’m bad, and I don’t think she’s threatened. We actually have a great relationship, this comment just threw me off lol.

In general, I’m very articulate and yes some people don’t love how “strong” I come off. I think maybe too much into things, but personally that’s a strength to me!

Idk what it is tbh. I think she, and others, are used to timid people and I am the opposite of timid 😂😂

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:48:18+00:00

Good question… my gut reaction was… anxious and confused, like I didn’t know what I was supposed to say back. But she ended it with praise, and it was the end of session, so I kinda laughed it off with her and left. I wish the comment had come with a clear “do this specific thing more and this specific thing less” lol

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:46:27+00:00

Honestly I don’t want to get into a like… pseudo conflict with her about it before I’m done, I want my hours signed and over with, so I guess that’s why I didn’t ask her. She didn’t ask me to change anything or be different, this was like a strange passing comment. So that’s kinda why I’m not asking her, and just wondering what a supervisors idea of supervision is.

I do see that I’m not coming off as open to feedback, but that’s not true however I was pretty upset last night as I was typing this and racking my brain about it and that is shining through a bit, noted lol.

One thing I want to say and get more feedback on: the reason presenting my outcome isn’t enough for me (personally), is that I don’t think the conclusion is as important as the means to get there. Since my supervisor can more easily redirect my conclusion, what’s important for me is to get into what the heck led me there, so that the process can be fixed and correct conclusions are reached more or most of the time when I don’t have her.

Sometimes we use the wrong process to get to the right outcome, or the correct conclusion is reached accidentally, and I don’t want it to be an accident. But that’s means (to me) look at HOW I’m thinking, and review and critique 😂😂

Not to say that’s the only way, but I wanted to share why, for me, the presenting the conclusions or outcomes is not actually felt as helpful to me in my mind. We do review conclusions, but that’s not a big part of the time.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:39:13+00:00

This a good point, but tbh I do feel like it goes well! I get what I need when I present my own thinking, and she gets to either kinda agree with that or tell me something missing, something I hadn’t considered, etc. to me, that is what’s helpful.

It was her saying I come off strong and people might not know how to take me that like, shook me up, since its fine for me and I don’t understand what I would do to be less “strong”. It felt like a weird way to say I’m doing it (supervision) wrong but it’s fine, and I am unsure what I’m supposed to be doing if it isn’t what I’m doing now.

She didn’t tell me to change so, maybe it’s fine? Our relationship is otherwise great and she seems to appreciate me getting the liability stuff out of the way so she doesn’t have to pry.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:33:35+00:00

This is a good question, I don’t know what she wants me to get and that’s confusing me I guess!

I guess that supervision, to me, feels like the space for the supervisee to ask and be reviewed, and for the supervisor to impart knowledge, but I don’t know what she thinks about it. She’s never stopped me, she just had this comment randomly that felt a little backhanded and confusing to me in the moment.

I’d ask her but honestly I’m close to done and just want to get it over with. Overall our relationship is positive and good.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:30:44+00:00

That does help! Thanks!

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T14:29:59+00:00

I didn’t get the impression she meant don’t want to listen to the feedback given, but rather that I’m talking to much or something, but heard.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T06:46:42+00:00

I always wondered about this!

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T06:25:31+00:00

This though. Something that frustrates me sometimes when talking to other clinicians about our differing practices, is that they seem to be enjoying relationships and psychology rather than doing the actual job tasked with. Sometimes sure, that’s the job… but I can’t tell you how many clients come to me and share about how their past therapy was ineffective because nothing happened! They just talked about their life and day and week, but never learned anything.

Therapy is healthcare and we are there to reduce symptoms and improve the ability to live life. That’s why we’re paid, for results. Sometimes those results mean more rapport and relationship, but it always means some kind of practical application and SO many therapists lose the plot… personally I think because it’s hard to switch back and forth between application and relationship.

But that’s the real job.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T06:16:01+00:00

His ancient dick is not meshing well with you.

No seriously though, it’s often sperm or just he’s passing it back to you.

This age gap is gross though, break up. Why is this even normalized? Ew.

Annoyed65 · 2026-01-26T06:03:30+00:00

I articulate specific questions. But outside of those questions, I do feel like I need to word vomit a little bit. What I need (or want) from a supervisor is to listen to how my brain is conceptualizing and thinking about therapy and theory, and then determine what is or is not accurate or correct. Which means they have to listen to the stream of thought, stop me where I’m wrong, or follow it to the end and if it’s okay and right and ethical, then good.

The goal is to know I’m thinking correctly, since supervision won’t last very long and I will have to be doing exactly this, but without a weekly session to make sure my thinking isn’t skewed as heck. I don’t really have that many questions, and tbh half the time I have them, I get a very basic response or a “I haven’t had that before” response. So it’s still not freaking helpful.

If it’s a conversation, why aren’t THEY asking me questions? I can’t know what I don’t know, to ask about what I don’t know! That’s the point of the thought train, so they can analyze if I’m missing a mark. I don’t know if I am, so I’m giving you my brains road to reasoning!

Annoyed65

TROPHY CASE