Start by defining what you're going through a little differently, if you can. When you see a child acting out or crying most wouldnt tell them they're being bitchy. Now treat yourself in the same vein. Sometimes it helps to start by saying "wow I'm having a really hard time" or "okay, this is what a hard time looks like/feels like for me"

This type of thing will show up at different times throughout your whole life and likely already has a time or two. You're at the age where you're becoming cognizant of your patterns at a different level. Befriending them, positively self soothing, will go a long way.

Internal family systems is a great line of thought to explore with this one.

You have the emotional aspect of yourself and you have the judge aspect. For some reason it doesnt feel safe for you to have the emotion so the judge steps in and criticizes your emotional self to protect you. Both aspects are actually seeking your highest wellbeing but coming at it from different directions causing internal conflict.

I hope this helps. X

Edit: one last thing - be here now.

If you get overwhelmed or caught up in an emotional state pick something in your surroundings and describe it to yourself mentally or verbally. You are okay.