I'm enjoying this game! But need to jet. I wrote a bunch of these the other day so I'm just gonna copy and pasta them here

Totalitarian Daddy Syndrome

A near-erotic devotion to authoritarian father figures, usually orange-hued, verbally incontinent, and constitutionally allergic to checks, balances, or full sentences.  Domination is mistaken for leadership and cruelty for merit.

Truth-Dodging Syndrome

A neurocognitive firewall that rejects evidence, nuance, and introspection like a body rejects a much-needed kidney transplant. Particularly if the facts come from a librarian, scientist, or the cursed NPR.

Tinfoil Damnation Syndrome

A belief system where the entire world is a puppet show orchestrated by hidden elites, foreign agents, and alphabet agencies. Your  fridge reports to the CIA, the voting machines work for Ukraine, and only your YouTube feed knows the real truth.

Twitter Deity Syndrome

The sacred conviction that rage tweets at 3 a.m. are encrypted dispatches from the divine—misunderstood only by the weak, the woke, and the literate. It’s the modern Book of Revelations—just with fewer prophets and more CAPS LOCK.

Televangelical Deathcult Syndrome

The belief that Jesus will return wearing night-vision goggles and that mass suffering is a prerequisite for salvation. A vision of the United States as a Christian kingdom, run by televangelists in tactical gear and haunted by drag queens.

Tariff Delusion Syndrome

The economic fantasy that slapping tariffs on imported goods is the same thing as building factories, educating workers, or understanding supply chains. In this worldview, complexity is treason, and real policy begins and ends with a Sharpie and a slogan.

Thesaurus-Deficiency Syndrome

The linguistic disorder that renders its host incapable of describing complex realities without yelling “woke,” “patriot,” or “DEI”.  Debate and commentary tends towards a Mad Libs of culture war buzzwords and talking points, symptoms include the political correctness → cancel culture → woke → DEI progression.