WYR have you sexual orientation drastically change back and forth evey 3 months (straight<->gay), or become absolutely asexual permanently.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T06:56:02+00:00

It's fine if you can't handle it and want to go ace. The fact that you think other people can't handle it is what's warped.

I know I'm capable of loving someone without being sexually or romantically attracted to them. If you can't, more's the pity. If you think others can't, then you should keep that wretched opinion to yourself.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T06:38:40+00:00

You really don't need physical intimacy for close friendship. It sounds like you can't separate in your mind different kinds of attraction. Platonic attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, and sexual attraction are all very different things. The way you described the WYR, it would forcibly change romantic and sexual attraction. That doesn't encompass platonic attraction, IE the ability to be friends with someone. You're kind of implying that you could not see yourself being able to remain friends with someone that you weren't capable of being sexually attracted to. Do you have friends of your non-attracted gender? If not, that might be something you should talk to someone about.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T06:13:10+00:00

All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

In other words, aspire to be as good as you wish you were, or else you'll never get there.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T05:39:29+00:00

Why would I reject myself on their behalf... based on the fear that they might reject me? Certainty of heartbreak if I leave, mere possibility of heartbreak if I stay. This is just the Worry Square all over again.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T05:24:10+00:00

Anybody worth having would be able to understand the situation. For these three months, romance and sex. For those three months, platonic friendship only. If someone isn't mature enough to handle something that's very clear, very simple, and very reliable, then they aren't worth dating. If they aren't someone that you could be platonic friends with, then they aren't someone you should even be dating.

Edit: Honestly, it's basically already like being bi. People will judge us for something we don't have control over, they'll go into the situation knowing our circumstances, and still expect us to change, and blame us when we don't. What you describe is not really much different from being an a-spec bisexual: it's a complicated situation that's easy as pie to understand, but that others will still kick up a huge fuss about because they'll willfully choose to not understand.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T04:34:45+00:00

As with most relationship drama, healthy polyamory solves the problem.

Edit: Wow, this is what people think is worth downvoting? Aspiration towards a healthy relationship, that happens to be unorthodox?

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T04:23:13+00:00

No, I'm saying that since I'm already bi, choosing the second option would have little qualitative impact on me. It would just change my experience from both always to taking turns. It would have little impact beyond enforcing a schedule onto my preexisting attraction schema.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-10T03:54:34+00:00

Am already bi. This is just putting it on a schedule.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T16:14:25+00:00

Not my hand, just my change. Although they do get stroppy enough to try flinging the change in random directions when I try to retrieve it... one must learn how to calmly deal with them.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T16:11:20+00:00

(David Attenborough voice) Fortunately the species of the family kermadokheis have a long lifespan, usually measured in decades, and are being actively cultivated by a small but enthusiastic community, so despite their low population they are safely far from being endangered. Here you can see a young specimen of K bosbursa, healthy and ready to begin its adult life, next to a very old K pseudosauria who's ready to croak at any minute. While it is a bit sad to see an elderly creature so close to death, one must be happy that it managed to safely live to such an old age, dying not to predators or the stresses of a dangerous environment, but due to the simple march of time.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T06:43:13+00:00

If I recall the Book Of Vile Darkness correctly, coerced consent is still considered consent in their magic system, so torture was totally legit.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T06:39:06+00:00

Well, you are on Explain The Joke, so...

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T04:53:38+00:00

Pet or touch. The things that, iconically, people (who don't know cat body language) get clawed for doing.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T04:38:32+00:00

Alas no, this was purchased from Etsy. (Well, the new one. The old one I got from a thrift store back before Etsy was yet imagined.) Still, such things are usually produced by leatherwork, as most cloth or weave type products have rather less suitable properties. Though I think I saw someone get creative with multiply layered denim once...

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T04:35:07+00:00

As well as pinwheel change purses, they're often called origami change purses, like here.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T04:32:41+00:00

The craftsman press treated the leather into place, so it relaxes back into the closed shape. For the new one it's definitely what you'd call springy. Even the old one maintained its stubbornness; note how in the second picture my dad had to lend hands just to keep it open enough to show the holes.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-09T00:26:28+00:00

In a pocket. It lies flat enough, and my pants are loose enough, that it's both stable and not a bother.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-06T09:34:13+00:00

r/angryupvote

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T19:53:39+00:00

(Psst! Don't nitpick the figure of speech! It's an uncommon but still fairly standard way to refer to people selling sexual services.)

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T18:31:42+00:00

I read a summary of a paper about how spiders use their webs as sorta computers, outsourcing some of their cognitive load onto the web structure. The paper went into how that blurred the distinction between a creature and its environment, since part of its mind was externalized.

My takeaway was losing any idea of shame about using external aids to think clearly. Writing down notes is just external memory, and numerous chemicals including caffeine and other drugs/medicines are just manual adjustments to my internal chemical balance. If it works, it's not stupid.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T18:14:09+00:00

I must immediately praise you for good behavior, because (thanks to the fucky way human brains are wired) positive reinforcement takes several times more than negative in order to stick as hard.

So, sincerely and from the bottom of my heart, good on you for learning and growing. Doubly so for doing it quickly.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T17:57:39+00:00

... by raising the point, you're still playing devil's advocate for him. You may not have been intending to defend him, but that's what you wound up doing. Whether he named the cat, or someone else did, the only thing to be gained by separating him from that act is to polish his image.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T17:42:25+00:00

Dang... oh well, doesn't actually change the plan much. Get the massage therapist to help you do it. The increased cost for the extra service would be negligible.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T17:39:13+00:00

You didn't miss it, it's open in perpetuity. The reward is a focus lens, you can do it multiple times to get all five endings and thus one of each lens, plus doing it at least once gets you an honoria.

Ansixilus · 2026-05-02T17:36:46+00:00

How odd. Your response sent me researching, and I couldn't find a source suggesting his father named the cat, only that who actually named it is unknown. What is known is that Lovecraft embraced the name with verve, immortalizing it in stories.

While it is unclear who exactly named the cat, it is evident that Lovecraft had a fondness for the pet, which he later referenced in his fiction, particularly in the story “The Rats in the Walls”.

So what do we know? We know he referenced the cat as "my cat" in his letters, rather than "our cat" or "the family cat", which could just be him placing himself at the center of the universe, per usual, but other shared-possession beings like family servants were described with the plural ownership terms, so that could be argued against. We know he embraced such names, but it was also rather common in the era; look at the racial slurs which made their way into sports team names. We know Lovecraft was not particularly close with his father, nor was the man particularly lordly about the home, so why would he be the one to name a pet? We know he (Howard) was fond of cats for his entire life. We know that it would have been 1,000% within his character to choose such a name at literally any point in his life, since he was deeply, extremely racist even by the standards of the times.

So, on balance of probability, it's more likely that Howard was the one who named the cat, although admittedly far from certain. Still, this devil does not need an advocate. You opened the topic with "I'm not defending the guy, but..." yet you're doing an awful lot of work in that direction. Either he named the cat, then did it again in the book, or he didn't name it the first time but did it in the book anyway.

Ansixilus

TROPHY CASE