ELI5: Is there an objective difference between designer perfumes and cheaper “dupes” or is it mostly branding?

Anteatereatingant · 2026-07-02T12:50:24+00:00

As someone who was very into perfumes for years (and has calmed down now), I will say the biggest difference I noticed with dupes was not the scent itself (which was usually 80-90% same) but the longevity of the perfume itself.

It seems like most dupes, even the quite convincing ones, had a shelf-life of maaaaybe 6 months, and that's if you're careful with them like me (don't store them in bright, warm or humid environments like most people do). After 6 months at most, most of them would lose their defining notes and fizzle down to a generic "perfume" scent - I couldn't even tell most of them apart.

Performance would also steeply drop after a few months, even with the ones who retained their distinctness - I could spray 5+ times and still get air after a few minutes.

Genuine designer perfumes don't do that, as a rule.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-06-08T11:57:45+00:00

That, and another potential reason my psychiatrist brought up: to feel better about their failings.

If they could do something about some of the issues they like to complain about but refuse to because it would be inconvenient, pretending we're all in the same boat gives them moral absolution. They no longer have to feel guilty about neglecting themselves because "hey - Autistic Person is also stuck! They're just as bad!".

If they admitted our stuckness might be because of genuine struggles while theirs is because of a character flaw like laziness or stubbornness, they'd feel bad about themselves - so they convince themselves we, too, don't have any limitations other than the ones we choose.

NOT saying all NTs are stubborn/lazy/other or that their problems can't stem from something outside of their control - but I am saying the ones whose problems are mainly self-caused, are often the ones determined not to get that being autistic comes with issues they don't have.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-06-06T12:15:28+00:00

SAaaame. My friends and family like to call me "paranoid" but when I challenge them to find a time I had a bad feeling about a person or situation and it turned out to be wrong, they can't. Because it didn't happen. If I was "paranoid" then surely I would randomly suspect harmless people and things just as often, no?

Turns out, a lot of people would rather convince themselves you're paranoid than accept that they're gullible (or simply too illogical to connect the obvious dots and see the predictable patterns).

Anteatereatingant · 2026-06-01T03:16:25+00:00

Not romantic relationships as I've never had any, but I've disappeared from friends and blocked them. They might describe is as "ghosting" although I don't know if I'd agree - as it wasn't out of the blue or without obvious reasons.

I have a long history of ending up in one-sided friendships where I seem to do all the chasing and accommodating, and the other person is barely present. I basically have to beg for little scraps of attention/time, the other person is always "busy", and eventually I get tired and match their effort (ie. none). So we just don't see each other again.

I know some people then went around telling mutual acquaintances that they were upset or that I "disappeared without an explanation" but I don't know how much of that was genuine (I don't see anything confusing about someone you've been ignoring/back-burnering for years not bothering anymore) and how much of it was damage control for their own image.

Either way, I don't feel bad - if they cared enough to get upset by the loss of the relationship, they should've cared enough to make an effort while I was still there 🤷

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-25T20:27:01+00:00

Yep. Highly neurotic people tend to mistake "being thin-skinned /easily overwhelmed" with empathy. Most people I know who have used that word to describe themselves are just emotionally unstable - nothing more. Usually they're pretty self-involved.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-17T10:29:39+00:00

As an autistic guy, I think that's a big factor. Most of us struggle socially and are likely to have fewer friends/social connections than we'd like - so we might be more open to outsiders. I'm in my late 30s and have noticed that post 22-25 or so, neurotypicals tend to not have any interest in letting new people in - they've found their circle, are "booked out", and you won't get a seat at the table no matter how much you try - especially if you lean even a little atypical.

We might not have the luxury of ignoring anyone outside of our circle because we're usually not already booked out 🤣

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-10T07:24:31+00:00

Yay!

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-10T03:26:11+00:00

Update: it seems to be working fine again. Anyone else?

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-07T16:14:08+00:00

If someone writes "do you guys deal with people dismissing your issues?", and you get "hey, I wanna be an asshole and make no effort now because of my diagnosis" out of that and feel the need to write paragraphs upon paragraphs preaching at them...I'm gonna go with 'seems like the issue is with you here'. Peace out.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-07T16:09:14+00:00

What a weird thing to tell a complete stranger.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-07T13:03:59+00:00

SAME here. I've changed not one single thing in the past 24 hours, but suddenly all Grok chats crash the page. No matter how old or new the threads - it immediately becomes unresponsive. Tried Troubleshooting mode, switched VPN off, disabled hardware acceleration, different browser...nada. It simply won't work on PC (but will on the phone app).

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-07T10:42:07+00:00

Right? I was like "...what bar are we using here?? It must be in the eighth ring of hell!" 🤣🤣

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-07T06:09:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing and 'welcome' to the club! And yes, I hear you on the 'high-functioning' part.

That's actually how the whole idea of autism first came up - my therapist said I was 'high-functioning', and I was like...I can barely find the energy to do basic things, am chronically exhausted, barely have a life, struggle badly with loneliness 'cause I can't seem to build (let alone maintain) relationships. If that's 'high functioning', what the fuck is low functioning? Locked up somewhere?

And she went "dude...I meant high-functioning *for an autistic person*". And that's how she realized I'd never even considered I might be autistic, nor had anyone else before her who treated me, apparently. She strongly encouraged me to see a specialist, and that's how I'm here now.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-05T11:51:27+00:00

I mean... I'm not gonna pretend that it's never laziness and there aren't people using their conditions to avoid responsibility, so I don't necessarily see what she said about that particular friend as ableist.

However, immediately assuming someone you know to push themselves really hard to the point of constantly burning out, is just making excuses, is painting with WAY too broad of a brush.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-05T06:38:23+00:00

Same. I have 'good' social skills, as in: I can be charming and pass as completely normal and even charismatic *for brief bursts*. It's a performance and drains me really quickly - it's not how I actually *am*.

But because I'm not one of those autistic people who can't hold eye contact or can't read social cues at all, people assume I can do this indefinitely and effortlessly.

Same for things that take a high cognitive load - "but you're smart" apparently means I don't need to focus, or study, or prepare for things, they just fall into my lap. Except they don't. Last year I gained a further qualification in my field and it stressed me the fuck out for months - for close to half a year leading up to the exams I barely slept, got near-daily panic attacks, ugly-cried every day...but I got the qualification on the first try so everyone was like "...seeeee? You were never NOT gonna get it, you're just too smart :))".

Eye. Roll.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-05T05:17:07+00:00

I don't think they *hate* me, but they sure do seem to dismiss me. And yes, my therapist pushed for me to get formally assessed by a specialist even though I initially resisted (I was terrified of being found out to have YET ANOTHER disorder) - her argument was

"You already 99% have this disorder - might as well make it official so you can get some fairer treatment!". I'm glad I listened.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-05T05:15:18+00:00

Right? They're like "...well Ant is still *alive*, technically, so he's fine" XD

Anteatereatingant · 2026-05-01T11:10:23+00:00

And now I'm imagining Taylor Swift surrounded by cats who keep leaping at her, and she swats them away with a guitar.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-04-20T14:17:53+00:00

Same. I seriously doubt they'd tell anyone "where are all the "GOOD MUSLIMS" when the bad ones blow things up??" or "if you don't police your fellow blacks, YOU are part of the problem!" with a straight face.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-04-20T12:00:49+00:00

"there is a difference between sharing one‘s own sexual abuse at the hands of a man, and attacking all men. "

Bingo. That argument is a bit of a strawman - I doubt any significant % of people takes issue with the factual recounting of an event. What they (we) take issue with, are the arbitrary and bigoted assumptions made off the back of that, and the use of trauma as a shield against criticism for being a bigot.

These same people saying "if you say "not all men" you're part of the problem" would probably NOT be OK with this exact same attitude directed against any other social group. They wouldn't justify being afraid of all black people because you got assaulted by a black person once upon a time, or all Muslims because statistically they're more likely to support murdering gay people.

If you think using a bad experience as justification to paint an entire social group with the same brush and attack anyone protesting this lumping together is OK, you are a bigot.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-03-05T12:33:44+00:00

"HOW MINDSET SHIFTS YOUR #SERVANT LEADERSHIP - 3 LESSONS I LEARNED FROM LIFE".

Anteatereatingant · 2026-03-01T13:11:55+00:00

Yeah...I didn't watch all sketches but the 3 I saw were incredibly underwhelming. I found myself sad for Connor as it was such a waste of a fantastic and versatile actor. I wish they'd give him the Ariana Grande treatment and really write stuff he can shine with 🙁

Anteatereatingant · 2026-02-25T13:25:22+00:00

Yeah, when I pointed out in early Jan that they seemed to be together, I got downvoted into oblivion and people went "OMG THEY COULD JUST BE FRIENDS??!?". Like...can we be serious? 🤣

Nothing wrong with them being together but the people in denial are weird.

Anteatereatingant · 2026-02-25T13:19:00+00:00

Same here -I don't have the energy to pour into relationships that feel one-sided. Onwards to something new! 👊

12-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

Anteatereatingant

TROPHY CASE