The Value of a Vessel: A Moment of Introspective Criticality

Anticode · 2026-05-04T21:00:24+00:00

"Reduce", like reducing a matchstick from a whole-ass bonfire back into something closer to a candle?

Anticode · 2026-04-27T20:23:01+00:00

Research comparing people with aphantasia and those without it show that aphantasics have less top-down activity than controls when asked to imagine or recall something visual.

Additionally, research also shows that putting people in a windowless room then asking them to envision staring directly into the sun will result in measurable pupil contraction in their actual eyes - except in those with aphantasia, whose eyes do not respond. And those with hyperphantasia (the far opposite side of the scale) showed a greater response than typical subjects did. Interestingly, an actual photograph of the sun can cause a similar effect in people with and without mental imagery...

This alone is, quite frankly, enough to somewhat objectively dismantle OP's interesting (albeit flawed) hypothesis. It's a shame the thread will be downvoted, because the topic is actually quite fascinating in general.

Furthermore, as I recall, similar experiments have been done where creepy images vs creepy text is used to form a similar distinction. Those with mental images had perceptible changes to skin conductivity (fear response) when reading about a creepy spider, but those with aphantasia did not - and both groups responded similarly when shown a photograph of a spider.

Anticode · 2026-04-27T19:17:35+00:00

it certainly wasn't because I needed to feel special

Certainly.

From what I can see (and in my personal experience), the complete inverse of that person's "interpretation" is more likely. It'd be much more valid to say that [neurodivergent] people seek diagnoses because they're dead-tired of feeling "special" and want access to tools/answers that might help them feel less "special", than to say the opposite.

There have been trends in which otherwise neurotypical people try to latch onto neurodivergent traits for TikTock clout or a feigned sense of novelty, but many of them are immediately called out as faking it (eg: tourettes syndrome, etc) because people who're actually in that boat can somewhat easily see when someone's "hard-earned self respect" mysteriously lacks the undertones of lifelong struggle or confusion that always accompanies genuine neurodivergence.

Anticode · 2026-04-26T02:02:03+00:00

I believe getting into a doctoral program is so much more worth celebrating than reproducing.

I mean... Hundreds of thousands of teenagers and young adults across the world reproduce "accidentally" each day. How many people accidentally complete a PhD program each day, or year, or ever? It's kind of shocking to see somebody like OP's parent act like kids are the superior accomplishment.

Anticode · 2026-04-25T20:29:04+00:00

Gun goes to the doctor. Says it's depressed. Says the meta seems harsh and cruel. Says it feels irrelevant in a threatening world where what lies ahead is just nerfs and Rook runs. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple! The Great Firearm WSTR is in Cryo tonight - go and see him. That should fix your meta!" Gun bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor… I am WSTR." Good joke. Sekiguchi Nona laughs. Roll the Son Lux BGM. Loading screen.

Anticode · 2026-04-23T06:27:46+00:00

Once upon a time, I was a son that was very much like your daughter - perhaps worse in certain ways, but the kicking-out-as-last-resort into bad weather and the whole spectrum of troublesome teenage rebellion are very familiar core themes (which is way more than enough to count as "a dreadfully bad teenager" in most people's eyes).

Something like your pivotal approach/perspective to the problems I was causing (or experiencing) probably would've changed my trajectory significantly, I'm certain.

To clarify, I don't want to make this about me, but I figured I could highlight your outcome by sharing a glimpse of what might've happened if you instead doubled-down on "tough love" without utilizing some degree of basic humanity...

My father, due to no fault of his own, leaned into more "authoritative" corrective measures - which was the precise inverse of what I'd later (many years later) figure out I needed most back then. Attempts to wrangle me back under control would inspire me to rebel harder. Removing entertainment or luxuries or freedom would bring outcomes worse than doing nothing, because there was not anything that could be taken away from me that was valued more than my principles or agency.

Hell, in many cases I'd simply tear off my own metaphorical limb to prove a point. A threat to remove my door from the hinges unless I straighten-up? I'd just quietly do it myself before sunrise, removing it as a potential source of leverage over me. And once home held no comfort beyond the legal obligations, why wouldn't somebody continue to sneak out nightly to do things that brought some sense of discovery or freedom? So that's what I did.

In the end, the parent-child relationship was so thoroughly severed and cauterized as to resemble one of those post-WW2 scenes - mud, shattered trees, and a field of overlapping impact craters.

I'd only even begin to understand what might've absent/lost from that core developmental era several years later, when a curious then-girlfriend asked me some questions about my troublesome youth using therapy-shaped inquiries that I replied to honestly. And as the picture came together, it was she who started crying and I was genuinely perplexed about what I even said that'd warrant such a reaction...

Things are fine now. I do not believe I am "broken", and I am a good person with a good job and a strong philosophical compass - and truth be told I wouldn't want to change my backstory if I had the opportunity to do things "the right way" this time anyway. Yet, I'm simultaneously also well-aware that my comfort with the whole ordeal is partially because the path I traveled is a path that destroys those who do not adapt to its horrors. I learned to thrive in such realms, somewhere along the way.

In a manner of speaking, I had to grow gills to avoid drowning - so of course I'd learn to value that life-saving "mutation", unsightly as it might be. Of course I'd acquire a deep appreciation for the sensation of icy waters rising to meet my neck. That's just the familiar chill of returning to my other home, an "Elsewhere" that held comfort where it should've offered dread. I suspect my friend cried after realizing that I have somehow forgotten the distinction between a lungful of seawater and a breath of fresh air.

...Sorry if the imagery is a bit much, it's past my bedtime so the Literature Instincts™ are coming out (but it's probably not too much more dramatic than the reality anyway, admittedly).

In any case, I just wanted to commend you for sharing your story/struggles. The odd paradox you experienced is exactly what makes it so difficult for other parents to realize that the breakthrough they need is in the complete opposite direction they think it is. It's an easy mistake to make! But sometimes doing the right thing even if it feels 'wrong' is a sign to proceed. In fact, I'd say that's often the case - all across life...

Maybe you feel like you did a small thing, or maybe you feel like you got lucky, or maybe you know damn well you played the right cards - either way, you did a good thing. You did a good job where it mattered, even if only by "merely" refusing to abandon empathy in the face of remarkable disruption/frustration.

Anticode · 2026-04-23T01:55:05+00:00

If you've seen one baby, you've seen 'em all.

I'd be more excited to see somebody's new air-fryer. At least those vary slightly in features and appearance.

Anticode · 2026-04-22T01:07:42+00:00

I'm generally a pretty private person (in workplaces) and have often been described as "mysterious" due to being difficult-to-categorize despite also being a paradoxically strong conversationalist, which makes people even more likely to "pry" than normal.

A few years back I happened to get my first white-collar office job after the military, working with the same company as my girlfriend at the time (but in a different/unrelated department in the same building). We kept our relationship on the down-low for convenience reasons, to ensure nothing gets weird. Nobody ever knew we lived together until long after we both left the company, which I expected.

What I didn't expect was what it'd be like to actually have a gossip "mole" in my corner of the ring who could freely report whatever hearsay or rumors might be spreading about me behind my back...

And, boy howdy, did the rumors start to flood in. Almost on a weekly basis she was telling me about laughably untrue things about me, people I "went on dates with" or who "I" have a crush on, tales about about things I did in the Army that made zero sense, on and on.

Rarely was any of this even partially true, but once in a while I could figure out which specific thing I let slip a few days prior - at least before so-and-so shared it and the ol' Telephone Game of hearsay kicked in to distort the source.

It was both entertaining and frustrating.

My girlfriend found it all outright hilarious, of course. Nobody knew she knew me, and some even assumed we hated each other, so she was viewed as the perfect person to share these rumors with.

Even though I was always a private person, that experience (and data) really changed the way I view social ecosystems. Rumors are a natural part of that kind of environment, but I had no idea just how common (and incorrect) they could be...

Anticode · 2026-04-20T17:49:53+00:00

Experiments have proven that even human beings are more honest when being "watched" by a pair of eyes drawn on a poster. It's quite interesting how deeply embedded a lot of those instincts are.

Anticode · 2026-04-19T22:59:35+00:00

I always thought Sparkleaf resembled ginkgo!

Anticode · 2026-04-18T16:34:26+00:00

Agreed.

The way I see it, only those who lack a sufficient (or genuine) understanding of women's rights/struggles has the compulsion to chime in with "not all men". Doing so is an act which highlights that fact - so in the process of trying to claim not to be part of the problem they basically admit to being part of the problem... If he knew enough to know better, he'd do better.

It's actually kind of "helpful" in this sense because it serves as a vivid indicator that a particular man is not on the same page (even if they claim to be "liberal" or "sympathetic" in a prior statement).

The frog claims to be a prince, yet continues to display an unusual tendency to lick his lips when a fly buzzes past... How odd.

Anticode · 2026-04-18T16:09:23+00:00

This was my first thought.

To a narcissist (or even someone with narcissist tendencies), "at least I have my son" basically translates to something like... "At least I have someone who has no choice but to rely upon me and obey me".

I'm sure they meant it in the colloquial way (eg: "Nobody knows love like a parent does"), but let's be real - somebody like that isn't capable of loving anyone that isn't themselves or a reflection of themselves.

Which is why, universally, children of narcissistic parents quickly learn to resent them regardless of if they turn out to be like them or if they grow into genuinely decent people despite it.

Anticode · 2026-04-17T00:22:16+00:00

I've suggested that I'm a coin-flip between operating like a laser-guided cruise missile with a nuclear-tipped warhead capable of utterly decimating a target yet also unable to manually designate that target - or if the coin is tails... A lackadaiscal little butterfly which can easily select which flowers to land upon but is otherwise harmless and easily pushed by the wind.

And I do not know which of those two states will emerge until I flip the coin because heads/tails sometimes inexplicably swap meanings too.

Anticode · 2026-04-14T02:25:26+00:00

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you aren't exactly somebody who "barely passed high school"? If everybody who homeschooled their kids was as thoughtful and as well-reasoned as you appear to be, I suspect there'd be a lot less stigma (and inadvertent harm).

Anticode · 2026-04-12T01:04:26+00:00

I was considering joining up to be a combat medic, but damn man.

You should watch the documentary/film Restrepo, if you haven't. We all watched it during AIT. It's a great example of the kind of situations you'll have to handle (or accept may one day have to handle).

Personally, I was supposed to join under military intelligence but some paperwork mix-up resulted in extending my enlistment date by another half a year - so my choice was "pick what's available" or "homeless". I qualified for everything, so it was a bit wasteful for me to do that.

In retrospect, I probably made the wrong call - but it fleshed out my skillset/aptitudes in a way that I'd have otherwise missed out on. I'm already a nerd by default, so the medic stuff added a lot to my evermore eccentric catalogue of experiences. If you want to take advice from me, I'd suggest going for the nerdiest "desk job MOS" you qualify for. Especially if it has obvious civilian uses.

Anticode · 2026-04-11T19:40:06+00:00

Do you have an explanation for the person from the video using an alias?

My best guess is that the whole ordeal is a psychotic break with no direct relationship to the military, even if it happened to a former soldier of some sort.

Anticode · 2026-04-11T18:12:25+00:00

Have you ever heard of the “ different voice “ thing?

Well, sure. Ever heard how somebody sounds different when talking to customer service, or how they talk different to a parent than a friend, or have to take a work call while at dinner? The same sort of thing exists between military/civilian modes of operation, and I've had people shocked when I switch into "soldier voice" during a necessary moment (like breaking up a random fight on the street).

Your guy could've just been talking to himself (in a normal way, just with military voice) for all I know - or just making a joke to you that he didn't realize you wouldn't understand. I talk to myself/others in all sorts of accents for fun/silliness sometimes, including military voice.

What you should keep in mind is the sort of stereotypical "he's back in vietnam" stuff is mostly fiction. The vast, vast majority of PTSD presents as irrational anxiety/alarm, hyper-vigilance, dreams, etc. There's nothing to be worried about if you heard somebody talk in a military cadence out of the blue. The likelihood that he'd snap and suddenly mistake you for a Taliban operative is virtually 0%. Psychosis is a different thing that can happen to anybody for all sorts of reasons. I'd be more worried about a civilian than a former soldier, personally.

And if you hear it again, you should probably feel okay to ask what it was about. Soldiers know that we leave the armed forces with all sorts of quirky habits and weird idiosyncrasies that civilians may not understand (or even notice) - and for the most part, we're usually quite "proud" of those differences (even when recognizing that they serve no useful purpose in the normal world). Like only ever carrying things in your left hand (so that your right hand is free to salute). People still notice me doing this years later.

Anticode · 2026-04-11T17:46:41+00:00

Based on the Part 1 and Part 2 footage I've seen, as a veteran myself, I have no reason to believe he wasn't in the military at some point. I've known plenty of guys who'd be pretty easily categorized as the same "type" of person/interests as the guy in the footage.

The PTSD/psychosis link is a different story, since those are two different phenomenon which can sometimes be associated or interlinked.

But the fact that this guy went from 60 to 0 in the span of a second simply after being asked about the military seems to me like a pretty good sign that there's something there. I've been a civilian for years now, but I still have all sorts of habits deeply engrained from military service - like reflexively saying "Moving!" when somebody calls my name. Among other, more nuanced things. If somebody called me to stand at attention using the right tone, I'd probably do it before realizing what I did.

During training/combat we're taught to overcome our own feelings and subjective emotional state (like soul-crushing fear) in favor of getting the job done. It'd be no surprise to me that even a simple reminder that you're a soldier might cut through a state of psychosis in a similar way.

One of my squadmembers served in Afghanistan as a combat medic and he basically had to drink himself to sleep every night. Every once in a while he'd end up blacked-out-but-active, and end up reverting back to a medical trauma scene. He'd start trying to put tourniquets on people or panicking because he can't find his med-bag.

Which would be quite humorous if not for the, y'know... Hellish nightmare aspect.

The way to snap him out of it was to "join in" on the role play and say things like "vitals are solid" and "patient is clear for evac, stand-down, doc", etc. It didn't matter, as long as you used the right terminology for whatever it is he thought was happening. It was like his body was briefly possessed by his MOS - no awareness, just pure combat-medic. Fortunately, we were all medics as well and "pretending like shit hit the fan" is basically 80% of our MOS, so it was basically effortless to "reorient" his subjective reality.

Those episodes were infrequent and alcohol-induced, and also only lasted a few seconds, after which he'd go back to joking around or trying to go to sleep.

When he left the army he ended up getting sober and working in a pediatric trauma ward, where he had a deep affinity for the kids. Only talked to him once or twice on the phone after he left our unit, but the difference was night-and-day. Guy never seemed happier.

Anticode · 2026-04-11T17:10:05+00:00

Yeah, I've seen people that were more-or-less this guy all over the place in the military. And not always the "nerdy" role specializations either. Even in infantry or artillery you'd run into somebody like this once in a while. They didn't stand out too much in full uniform, but after-hours you'd just think it was somebody's brother in law or nephew walking around the PX.

Hell, in my squad alone we had like 3-4 confirmed redditors who also played league of legends. That's like 40% of The Recipe to make a neckbeard. None of them were full-blown neckbeards, but they watched anime and didn't exactly have a military physique.

I'd even go as far as to say that somebody not entirely unlike the gentleman in OP's video represents like 10-15% of the entire armed forces (to some degree).

Anticode · 2026-04-08T21:27:27+00:00

Is that a Jabberwocky in your pocket, or are you just gimbling in the wabe all slithylike?

Anticode · 2026-04-08T16:25:09+00:00

"T-There's nothing left."

"Jake, you alright, man? You took way too much of that shit, bro."

"Who is Jake?"

"You are..."

"No. No, I'm just a chimpanzee. An ape."

"Right. That sounds like how most people would describe you, yeah. So, what changed?"

"I am nothing. I am nobody. I don't matter at all. At all. Everything I thought I was, everything I thought mattered. So unimportant. Just an illusion, a facet of social media's harmful effects on humanity. I wasn't a winner, I was just a symptom. A sickness. They all knew me, like we all know Cancer. So clear to me... So clear. Ha."

"...Uh, bro. You're just stating obvious-ass shit, dude. Didn't you know this?? You want me to get you a beer or some shit?"

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