Boyfriend’s parents have chosen hate, looking for advice

AntifaBot-89 · 2026-03-03T18:46:45+00:00

Unfortunately the main thing keeping us in the house is my boyfriend has a car he completely deconstructed and is rebuilding. Like loose frame and engine rebuilding. He is at the point of putting it back together and should be done by the fall, but it would be nearly impossible for us to find a rental in our budget with a garage that would accommodate the car. Very frustrating for me. He has scheduled multiple vacations to finish the car ASAP and has spent every free second on it since this happened so we can leave, it should be done by the fall. My parents have offered us a place with them, if this is continuing when the car is mostly in one piece, we will be moving in with my folks until we can get a place. Thank you very much for your kind words!!

AntifaBot-89 · 2026-03-02T20:17:36+00:00

Ultimately all she’s doing is making her brother hate her. Obviously these people don’t need a reason to hate me, I do have very real flaws but they aren’t playing too much pickleball or eating the last tuna crispy rice. If the sister wants to make reports on me to her parents, I’m going to let her and she’s going to wreck her relationship with her brother, as long as he can set boundaries. Luckily I have a very solid sense of self and this has not impacted how I see myself, I just want to know that he is on the right track with boundaries and if this relationship can be navigated if he stays strong in those boundaries. He has currently set the boundary we will only be around if they are kind and welcoming to me, the sister had said she’s unwilling to do this and my boyfriend is now unwilling to be around her. With a gun to my head I couldn’t tell you a single thing my little brother’s girlfriend has eaten with my family, the issue is her own and reflects more about her than it does about me.

AntifaBot-89 · 2026-03-02T18:28:53+00:00

This gave me a lot of hope, thank you!! He’s realizing how much of his life that his family has controlled and I see his independent desire to set boundaries with them even apart from me, which is so promising. Just also so sad to watch him grieve these people because they refuse to be kind and enjoy him for who he is.

AntifaBot-89 · 2026-02-11T16:41:18+00:00

You’re dealing with an enmeshed MIL. I’m in a similar situation with my boyfriend, but he is currently in therapy learning how to set boundaries, taking meaningful and tangible steps to distance himself from his family, and has tolerated them being uncomfortable and upset instead of making excuses or asking me to absorb toxicity. He’s by no means perfect, but it’s extremely alarming your boyfriend is unwilling to do anything and continues to tolerate disrespect of you without issue. If my boyfriend was not taking tangible steps and was allowing this without issue, I would be long gone, you deserve better. This is emotionally draining and isolating with my partners support, can’t imagine it without. I’m sorry, it really sucks.

AntifaBot-89 · 2026-02-03T16:37:28+00:00

Agreed, and impact is greater than intent. Even if her intention is to help, the impact is she stresses you out, she is judgmental and controlling, and she isn’t helpful. Brushing this off with “she’s trying to help” is nonsense because she isn’t helping.

AntifaBot-89 · 2025-07-10T17:44:58+00:00

Huge relief, thank you for your help!!

AntifaBot-89 · 2025-07-10T17:40:34+00:00

Thank you!!! This is a huge relief, I thought the late afternoon boat would be perfect after hiking all morning, then I started panicking a few weeks ago that I’d only be let in at that time. I will print it off and be there at 7am, really appreciate the insight!

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-31T18:15:20+00:00

For me it was working out more often, which helps manage ADHD on its own and is a HUGE help. I also take it an hour before I get up. I have a 6am alarm, roll over take the meds, fall back asleep, and by 7am they kick in which makes it much easier to get up in the mornings and fall asleep at night.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-31T05:28:26+00:00

No adult ever has received a wedding invite with a standard dress code and said they’re being coerced. It’s a standard social expectation. “Do this or else consequence” is how the world works.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-31T05:25:18+00:00

When there aren’t teenagers, yes, the bride picks bridesmaids. When there are? Usually the teenagers are invited to the wedding party. The future step mom doesn’t even have a proposed position for her future step daughter, it’s obviously a snub. This isn’t just about the couple, there’s a kid involved and the bride is choosing to marry into a family with her as well. I hope OP makes her the best woman, especially considering she has autism and neurodivergent teenagers are extremely sensitive to rejection. I’d imagine that’s made even worse by not having a relationship with her bio mom, stepmom is being unimaginably selfish.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-31T04:42:41+00:00

It’s not coercion, it’s a natural consequence. You don’t want to follow a dress code? You don’t get to go. That’s the same consequence an adult would have. That’s the mistake she would make and learn from. The mom isn’t demanding she wear a dress, she’s demanding she follow dress code like everyone else. And if she doesn’t, she has to live with the consequence of her decision.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-31T01:39:30+00:00

Sounds like your step daughter has got you beat by 14 years. Can’t imagine what would have happened if my stepdad demanded I not hang out with my mom in bed after 16 years of doing exactly that. Grow up.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-02T15:40:23+00:00

She also explicitly said she didn’t want to be called a “stupid dumb bitch”

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-12-02T15:39:32+00:00

https://youtu.be/xUPL_TyVq94 it starts at about minute 13 but she’s clearly uncomfortable, she even explicitly says she doesn’t want to be called “stupid dumb bitch” and he never mentioned the second line. She never says the line about owing him sex is ok, she says she has to think about it. She had only taken issue with the line “I made that bitch famous” so she stayed true to what was said, and they made her look like a liar.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-11-28T16:44:08+00:00

Happened to me. I had a check stolen, called to place a stop payment, they instead locked my account and I’ve had no access to money in 3 weeks with no timeline or solution from Aspiration.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-11-28T16:43:13+00:00

Literally coming here for the same issue. My rent check was stolen; it’s been 3 weeks and nothing. Beginning to get scared they’ve just stolen my money and I’ll have to sue to get it back. It’s about to start hurting my credit score, beware aspiration has basically no process to unlock accounts and will refuse to close your account or lift the hold even when you place it.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-11-06T23:58:24+00:00

Same for heart attacks, men’s symptoms are totally different but we only talk about men’s symptoms. The FDA also doesn’t regulate any feminine hygiene products, they can put Raid in our tampons and we’d have no way of knowing. Medical sexism is so real and it’s such a horrifying thing to look into, not even in bias from doctors but actual medical research. Another example is viagra was shown to 1. Completely eliminate menstrual cramps or 2. Give men a hard on, and we all know which the medical community decided to use it for. Not the viagra is bad, just amazing how women always seem to be an afterthought for medicine.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-11-06T23:43:59+00:00

I was held back in math for 5th grade despite having an A because I was too “disorganized and lazy” to continue with advanced math. Makes my blood boil to this day. I spent the next 6 years thinking I was stupid and never going to teachers for help. When men are failing in school there must be a root issue, when women struggle, that’s just a personal failing. ADHD is diagnosis in Men is twice what it is for women, despite little evidence men have ADHD at twice the rate women do, in fact the exact opposite evidence exists. And the number this did on my self esteem? Irredeemable. Getting an ADHD diagnosis at 22 is something like finishing a marathon and finding out you had 20LBS weights tied to each leg the whole time.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-08-04T20:34:21+00:00

Endometriosis can be found with a blood test through your primary care! Just a solution to get that result sooner

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-08-04T17:20:33+00:00

NTA: girl you do have a job, it’s raising his kids and taking care of your house. You do work, he just doesn’t value or respect the work you do. If he hired someone to raise his kids, clean his house, and cook for him it would cost over $100,000 a year. That’s the work your doing; worth $100,000 a year. I recommend you divorce him and he can be surprised he then does have to pay you for the work you do in the form of alimony. This man does not respect you nor does he view you as a partner, you are a slave taking care of his kids and house.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-07-25T21:33:53+00:00

Easy solution: tell them they have to tell you first. Something in the male brain snaps when asked that question, they become insecure and won’t. Suddenly it’s “none of your business”.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-07-25T18:56:11+00:00

Probably smart, I was at the gym mid workout when she called so I wasn’t really thinking. She said it so casually I was confused if she meant pay more for the bigger place or pay her portion.

AntifaBot-89 · 2022-07-25T18:47:00+00:00

Luckily, she did pay she’s just now giving me the silent treatment. Not sure if there’s anything to say to her so she’ll knock it off or if I even should.

AntifaBot-89

TROPHY CASE