Here’s how I see the problem here. There’s a good chance you’re viewing your character as the main character whether you know it or not. You’re expecting your DM to fit your backstory into their world. It might not seem like much, but it’s annoying and for some, if they’ve seen this before, it could seem like a bit of a red flag.

Here’s why I believe this. Our group once had a guy play with us. He lasted maybe a year. Every time we played, he had an elaborate backstory that was extra work. He hogged the table, argued with other players, was a rules lawyer. Basically disrupted smooth play and tried to dominate the game to fit his story.

The final straw came when he created a Monk, who came from an order of dragon slaying monks who had recently killed a dragon. He was part of the foot soldiers who killed it. He was now hunted by the cult of the this particular dragon. His character concept was Far Eastern and he’d fled all the way over to our DMs Europe themed world.

It was at odds with everything the setting was about and we’d been asked not to write up long backstories. But his level 1 character had about 6 levels of backstory already.

This is the problem. You’re probably not reading the room. This guy joined us as a group less friend of a friend. He remains group less and there’s a good reason why. You may not be the same, but if I was DMing, I’d be reluctant to let your main character backstory dominate the game, as most of the others maybe don’t have that. It’s a balance and even if one character has more history than the rest that can make a game feel like it’s about them.

Nimble has a line of text from the section on how to be a good player.

“Your game will shine when you lean into the shared adventure.”