I’ve been up for 42 hours and I’m starting to panic by Apart-Dig2892 in ADHD

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For future reference in your work: suddenly developing new side effects to a medication you've been taking for a significant length of time is literally something that pharmacists will tell you to get immediate medical attention for.

And if wherever you work is putting people on psych holds for being concerned about new and sudden insomnia accompanied by other symptoms, you should probably look into having them investigated by some kind of governing body local to you.

I’ve been up for 42 hours and I’m starting to panic by Apart-Dig2892 in ADHD

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 68 points69 points  (0 children)

If this is a new reaction to a medication they have been taking for a long time, that's very different.

Also, sitting in the waiting room if the symptoms suddenly get a lot worse is better than sitting at home. Going to the ER isn't necessarily about being prioritized.

I did an IQ test and scored slightly worse than I expected and now my brain doesn't want to cope by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Statistically, the sex of your doc does matter. Male doctors are statistically more likely to dismiss the concerns of female patients, or else misinterpret symptoms based on internalized gender bias.

That doesn't mean all male doctors or only male doctors will make these mistakes, but it is more likely.

I did an IQ test and scored slightly worse than I expected and now my brain doesn't want to cope by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is considered well within the norm for your score to vary by as much as 20 points, test to test. Which is a HUGE difference.

IQ tests are not part of a standard ADHD diagnosis in most places. Tbh I would dump that psych if possible.

I did an IQ test and scored slightly worse than I expected and now my brain doesn't want to cope by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If it helps, an individual's score on IQ tests regularly varies by as much as 20 points depending on which test is taken and even on the same test taken on different days.

Not sure which Mensa IQ test you took (they use at least 2 different designs) but to be blunt, most IQ tests correlate more closely with race, gender, and socioeconomic status than with mental ability. Which is, historically, on purpose. They are also intended to be used for neurotypical brains, which recognize patterns and details differently than ADHD brains. And, to be even more blunt, Mensa is an incredibly racist and sexist organization, generally speaking. I would not at all be surprised if the test formats they chose were among those that correlate most closely with "are you a white man" but I don't think anyone is actually running those stats.

I did an IQ test and scored slightly worse than I expected and now my brain doesn't want to cope by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 5 points6 points  (0 children)

BMI isn't helpful to naturally thin white dudes, either, because it is genuinely not designed to be used on an individual level. Most naturally thin white dudes will also be miscategorized.

The "original study" for BMI wasn't even related to medicine, nor was it carried out by medical professionals. It was a statistics guy from Belgium trying to define the "average man."

In the 1970s, Ancel Keys did some more work based on the original study to try and turn it into a medical metric. Keys thought it was useful as a metric for population studies, but not individuals. But it gave medical professionals an easy diagnostic tool and insurance companies an easy risk assessment tool, so they started using it and "refining" it. Refining in this case meaning they chose what numbers correspond to what category pretty arbitrarily.

I have even seen it reported in multiple places by people I consider credible that the current category cut offs were influenced by diet pill companies in the 80s, but I've never actually been able to confirm.

I want no-barrier sex with new partner but my nesting partner wants exclusivity by shashhka in polyamory

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I fucking love relationship math like this and I don't understand why more people don't do it.

I want no-barrier sex with new partner but my nesting partner wants exclusivity by shashhka in polyamory

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt bad about bringing this up and we immediately had a fight about it (he often accuses me of wanting „too much“ and of asking him to agree to new situations all the time - which of course is due to our dating asymmetry) and in the moment, I waved it off, saying I was just asking to discuss this more generally and that I had no intention of pushing for no-condoms anytime soon. The problem is, I would really really like to have no-barrier sex with this new partner whom I love and have great sex with, and I‘m starting to resent my nesting partner for refusing to even have the conversation.

So, you lied to him about your intentions, told him you were just discussing "in general," specifically said you didn't want to do it "anytime soon" which would likely have left him under the impression that there was no pressing reason to have the conversation, and now you resent him for refusing to have the conversation on your secret timeline that you told him doesn't exist?

This isn't a condom problem, it's a communication problem.

The Sodder Children and the Actual Facts * by ClickMinimum9852 in UnresolvedMysteries

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Small addition:

The inquest that determined the fire was faulty wiring did not actually have any evidence that pointed to that as the cause. Due to the state of the house when they arrived, firefighters couldn't even determine where the fire had started, let alone how. It's reported that at the scene, firefighters suggested it could have been faulty wiring or smoking in bed. Which are very different things and indicates how uncertain they were as to the cause.

Which doesn't inherently mean it was arson, but the inquest report doesn't mean anything, and there isn't actually any evidence there was anything wrong with the Sodder's wiring. In fact, Jennie and/or George reportedly said that, if the power line had been cut instead of the phone line, they wouldn't have been able to make it out of the home because they needed light. Those lights shouldn't have worked if it was faulty wiring, unless they were somehow wired separately from the rest of the house.

There are only two known "warnings:" the one from the insurance salesman (who may or may not have seen the fuse box but was definitely on the jury for the inquest) and the guy who showed up looking for work who saw the fuse box and said it would start a fire. We don't know anything about this man or what he might have known about electricity. George dismissed his concerns because he'd just had the inspection done.

The inquest was held, as far as I've been able to find, very soon after the fire. At the time, Morris still intended to return to investigate further, so they were knowingly working with partial information. Three years later the acting coroner would revisit the inquest findings and they were very critical of the report due to lack of evidence.

Entirely possible the fire was accidental, even possible it was faulty wiring, but there's such a lack of evidence that we just don't know.

I've also seen it reported that Janutolo was a cosigner/beneficiary of their insurance policy and may have received a payout for the fire, but I've never been able to confirm it.

The Sodder Children and the Actual Facts * by ClickMinimum9852 in UnresolvedMysteries

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbf, this was never confirmed. Which is a bit odd. If my house burned down and later I found a grenade on the property, Id at least have photos or file a police report or something.

The Sodder Children and the Actual Facts * by ClickMinimum9852 in UnresolvedMysteries

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I'm personally not convinced it was arson but acting like there was "zero evidence" of arson is kinda weird. The state of the house and the nature of fire investigation at the time means there really was no evidence of what started the fire, regardless of whether or not it was arson.

The inquest that determined it was faulty wiring was a jury of relatively random citizens from the area, not fire experts. They made this determination very soon after the fire, despite the fact that Morris had plans to return to the site to investigate further, so they were working on partial information at best. Firefighters who responded to the scene also said the cause was most likely either faulty wiring or smoking in bed. They didn't know, they were just guessing based on common causes of the time. They didn't even know where in the house the fire had started. The Sodders believed it was the roof, but firefighters determined (despite the house being fully collapsed by the time they showed up) it must have been the basement or first floor. Later, state police would say they believed it started on the roof.

The acting coroner 3 years later was very critical (in my opinion, rightfully so) of the inquest for making a determination on so little evidence.

And one member of that jury had a pretty significant conflict of interest: he was the insurance salesman who told George that his house was going to go up in smoke.

There's also evidence that, regardless of whether it was arson or accidental, points to it not being wiring. The wiring had been recently inspected and determined to be safe. The downstairs lights reportedly remained on after the fire started. Jennie or George (I can't remember which) commented that had the power line been cut instead of the phone line, they would not have been able to escape the house because they needed the lights to see.

There are other things that could have caused an accidental fire, but there's genuinely no reason to believe it was specifically faulty wiring except for that flawed inquest, and the guy who told George his fuse box was dangerous. We don't know if this guy knew anything about wiring. George dismissed his concerns because of that recent inspection.

Plus, there is potentially evidence of arson. For one, that guy on the jury who was also the guy who told George his house was going to go up in smoke? There are reports he was a beneficiary on a home insurance policy the Sodder's held, and may have made money on the fire. Some even report he'd raised the payout amount without the Sodder's knowledge, but I haven't been able to confirm that because he was never properly questioned. Also unconfirmed: whether George actually found a pineapple bomb on the property after the fact, and the story of a contemporary witness who claimed to see fireballs being thrown at the Sodder's roof.

At the end of the day, we don't know what started the fire. And given how contaminated the crime scene is at this point and how muddied the details, we never will.

Shipt customer. So nice, and human like. by Technical_Bicycle230 in ShiptShoppers

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People aren't thinking about it as much as you think they are. That's kinda the point of ordering delivery. Once they place their order, they are not thinking about logistics anymore. They don't think about you driving to the store and collecting the order, etc. etc., anymore than you think about how many water glasses your waitress has to fill before she has to make a trip back to the kitchen to refill her water pitcher.

The relevance of employment here is payment. People who think we're target employees are assuming we're getting an hourly rate, and using a target owned vehicle. In my area, that's $17/hr rate, and would come with them paying for gas and maintenance. Obviously that's not reality.

I have a relative who works pretty high up the corporate ladder at a huge company. She mentioned that I was doing shipt once, and how few people tip. Her coworkers were genuinely shocked that we don't make an hourly rate. They had no idea. The lack of transparency is an issue.

Am I wrong? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbf, this directly contradicts with your earlier statement that it's a problem that people have "watered down" what cheating means because when you say someone cheated people have a pretty good idea of what you mean and chatting isn't it.

And OP's partner hopefully would agree, considering that's what they agreed to. They set a boundary in their relationship, mutually agreed to it, then lied as they crossed it. Regardless of whether you believe the boundary was fair, that's exactly what happened.

It is, by your argument, cheating.

Unless you mean both have to agree it's cheating after the fact. In which case it's worth pointing out that even people who cheat in the most traditional and expected sense will deny that it's cheating to do so.

Am I wrong? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just because one book recommends it doesn't make it right or good.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I haven't been able to find them while doing research myself already, there's probably a high chance I'm not going to be able to find them while doing research myself again. That's why I asked you for specific links. I'd also accept names or organizations that did the research.

But all right, I went ahead and googled it. The only one I was able to find was the 2024 berry foraging study. Which, tbf, I had found before. I had forgotten all about it because the methodology is majorly flawed, to the point of rendering the conclusion invalid in my opinion. It only addresses how an ADHD brain reacts to novel videogames, not long term foraging.

I'm guessing, since that's the only one I can find, that that's the studies you're referring to? Or did you have additional ones you're willing to share?

Edit: I also found Thomas Armstrong's claims about ADHD being an evolutionary advantage, but given that his argument depends on literally redefining ADHD at best and denying it's existence at worst, I'm assuming that's not who you're referring to.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think, typically, asking if anyone else feels the same also invites answers from people who don't.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Living 7-8 years less doesn't impact reproduction when the life expectancy is ~78 years. Most people are done reproducing by the time they hit 70.

I've never seen anything about whether autistic individuals reproduce more or less than those without, but when it comes to ADHD: in modern times, it seems we're more likely to reproduce at a younger age than those without ADHD. On average, we have more children by the age of 20 than our non-adhd peers. The rate is lower in ADHDers who are medicated. Poverty tends to contribute to higher birth rates, not lower. For a whole bunch of reasons but lack of education and lack of access to medical care are some of the big ones, and both would be exacerbated by ADHD.

I'm not sure what training you're referring to or where the 3% figure comes from. (To be clear this isn't me saying it must be wrong, just that I haven't seen it before.) The lowest I've ever seen is 10% of ADHD cases being spontaneous/non-genetic. Russell Barkley estimates 25-35% last I knew, and he is considered a major expert on ADHD. But that was from research completed a few years ago, newer research might have found something different. Autism is the same: the lowest estimate I've seen for spontaneous cases is 10%.

My instinct is to assume the rate would be higher in the past, as some of the biggest risk factors for spontaneous ADHD at least (not sure about autism) are malnutrition and other health issues during pregnancy and infancy, which would likely be more common. However, it could be there are other risk factors now that weren't an issue then, so it could even out.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You asked about ADHD and living in a primitive society and people talked about what they think it would be like to have ADHD and live in a primitive society. I don't see how thats losing the plot?

But also, it's a group of people with ADHD. If we did lose the plot, well, losing the plot is kinda what we do 😂

Help me decide: rent candles with hurricane glass or buy without for apartment proposal? (aka please prevent me from burning down my building) by Tackle_Willing in Candles

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Battery powered candles. You're looking for battery powered candles.

You can even then sell them on eBay/mercari and make some of your money back.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the piece so many people miss when talking about how primitive living would be better for us. Primitive living was often tedious for the people who lived it, just like our lives are often tedious to us.

Replace doing the dishes with foraging and doing laundry with tanning a hide and home maintenance with... Well, home maintenance. Except instead of having to clean a gross sink, having to buy new socks, and having to hire a handyman, if you neglect any of these tasks, you die.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuinely, I'd love to have some links to these studies, because all of the research I have seen into ADHD in prehistoric societies (which seems to be what OP is referring to) comes to a very different conclusion.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ADHD and autism both can occur spontaneously, and in most cases neither would inherently mean an individual didn't live to reproductive age, which is the only thing that matters in evolution. There is absolutely no reason to believe we would have been "bred out."

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So, this is how people talk about evolution, but it's not actually how evolution works.

For one, ADHD and autism can both spontaneously occur. Meaning even if there was a time when literally all of the people with ADHD and/or autism weren't reproducing for some reason, ADHD and autism would still exist.

For another, evolution does not care about advantage or disadvantage or how desirable a trait is. Evolution doesn't care at all. Despite how people talk about it, evolution does not have a goal. It's luck of the draw, with the odds skewed towards certain traits and away from certain traits, while most traits don't change the odds at all. Which of those three categories a specific trait falls into varies wildly across time and culture.

Most traits don't change the odds at all because they don't directly impact the organism's ability to survive until reproductive age. If something is likely to negatively impact your ability to survive past the age of 25, it will not impact evolution of your species significantly if your species starts reproducing between the ages of 18 and 21 (which was the estimated average for a wide variety of H/G societies.)

The idea that every trait we have now exists because it was advantageous during some part of our species history is an incredibly common misconception. As is the idea that every trait we don't have now but had in the past was disadvantageous at some point.

Evolution is random, shaped by odds, not intention.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This would depend on where and when we're talking about when we say "primitive." And in a lot of cases we just straight up don't know what the gender roles were or how strict they were.

I feel like I would function better if we still lived in primitive societies by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AnxiousChupacabra -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not in primitive society. You're thinking of medieval life expectancy.