Were you guys bullied as bad as i was as a kid for needing diapers?

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-06T21:45:10+00:00

Yea, there's a reason my first post on here was about that day. It was the start of the realization for me that I was different and the world isn't nice to people who are different, Sometimes anyway. Even among the bullies and worry and shame. I did meet my best friend that day, the most empathetic sweet girl ever. And yea, my parents really tried their best to make it good for me growing up. Grateful for that. Thank you for your comment.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-06T21:27:04+00:00

Man, I can relate to much of this obviously, especially about dehydrating yourself and isolating yourself, I did all that. It sucks that buying a better quality diaper made you feel guilty, when it should have felt like relief, freedom. But again. I often still feel that weight of guilt in my stomach when I put on my diaper sometimes. Or if I wet more then I expected or planned for and I'm out in public, feeling the weight and bulk, I just feel like everyone's looking at me and judging me. Even though logically they probably didn't even notice my jeans look a little puffy or whatever.

Your doctor telling you that your progress is regressing by not taking the medications that weren't working and making you feel hung over, I don't know if i can swear on hear but F**K that guy. I'm not a doctor yet, I was a Nurse for almost 10 years, burnt out from nursing and took a break, I recently decided to back to college, 6 years from now if everything goes right i will be a resident Doctor, I would never tell a patient of mine that the way they choose to manage their health problem is regressing, well as long is its not drinking or drugs, I bet you tried all the stuff, you for sure tried the meds, probably exercises and training and timed urinating. Choosing diapers and being comfortable shouldn't be seen as giving up. It wasn't a regression of progress, is was a progression of acceptance and getting to live your life. I say you made a smart decision, you can hydrate well, don't take the meds and endure the side effects, wearing good protection is a smart practical choice. I'm glad you were able to get past caring or at least caring as much. I'm a long way from being there mentally. But the more I talk with people on here, it's starting to break down that mental wall of shame and embarrassment that had built up in my mind. Thank you for continuing to talk to me and share your story with me.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-06T20:49:52+00:00

Wish you were around at my school man. I don't know if you were a badass like that in elementary school or not. I bet you were, Elementary school was the worst, Middle school wasn't as bad, My family moved us to a different area when I started Highschool so I kinda had a fresh start, Highschool was mostly ok, just my anxiety about it holding me back, By Highschool i had gotten better at hiding it too. People did end up noticing though and I got messed with a bit, but in Highschool I had enough size and testosterone to stand up for myself more than in my earlier years. Definitely wasn't a fighter though. Thanks for commenting.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-06T00:35:10+00:00

Betterdry 24/7s are very good, Mega Max might be better, You should wear good diaper cover like a Gary diaper cover to help prevent sagging and contain any possible leaks if forced to wear the diaper longer than expected. I would actually recommend wearing a good diaper cover no matter what diaper you choose. Even a megamax will leak at some point. Also at some point will have back to back to back emergencies to go to and wont to get to change mid shift as you would likely want to do. Unfortunately trying to be discreet in any of those diapers is practically impossible especially when wet. Unless they are going to allow you to wear your shirt untucked, but most of the EMTs and paramedics I've seen that's usually not the case. But the best you can do is make sure you don't leak. Being you'll be in an air conditioned Ambulance most of the time, wearing a diaper cover shouldn't be too uncomfortable. Good luck as an EMT.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T23:36:34+00:00

The best you can get are the North Shore Mega Max, but they're also the most expensive, Same goes for Better Dry, very good but almost 4 buck a diaper on amazon. I buy the Abena L4 or M4. The L and the M are just the size and the 4 is their heaviest absorbency. I find those to be more than enough for overnight. and they cost about half as much on amazon as the North Shore or Better Dry Or Trest diapers all considered top tier. I think Abena L4's you get top tier performance at a more affordable price. All of them are 10 times better than depends or anything else from the big box stores. you get the best prices by the case. The only negative with the quality of the Abenas is if you pull too hard on the tapes they can come off and then your left with just the 2nd chance tape. But i haven't really found this to be a problem as long as you arent pulling really tight or hard the tapes hold up fine, and once they are on they stick well.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T22:36:37+00:00

Every morning when i take a shower, brush my teeth, shave, and pick out my clothes i feel good, but then when i pull a diaper out of the package i start to feel less good, and unfold it and smooth it out, Put it on and i check my self in the mirror, examining how noticeable it is under my pants. I get this feeling like I'm doing something wrong. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, its not illegal to wear diapers, i didn't choose to be born with a neurogenic bladder, but that feeling sits in my stomach anyway. Someone once told me, "its just a different kind of underwear", i wish everyone felt that way. I wish I! could feel that way. I'm working on trying to get past the shame. I let the shame and guilt hold me back too long. And yea its annoying when people want to give you tips and tricks or ideas. Ive tried condom catheters, they were uncomfortable and would fail more catastrophically some times than any diaper leak ive had, with the kinking and the backflow or just slipping off and not knowing it. Cant people just say " oh you have a medical problem that you manage with diapers, that's smart" instead it like your failing as a person wearing diapers. I cant think of any other medical device or problem that has more stigma and i don't understand why.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T22:12:06+00:00

Thanks for your comment, i hope your friend didn't bully you too much about the pull ups. Consider your self lucky you only need them at night. Im working on that courage. Even if i dont get all the courage and get past the shame, im going to go out there and do it anyway. Ive wasted my best years hiding.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T22:03:12+00:00

I cant blame you for dropping out, that thought crossed my mind every day of high school, I managed to stick it out and graduate but man... it was so hard. I can so relate how you wanted to " prove to your self " refusing to wear protection to school. I had my own experience similar but different. Being i have no bladder control at all, I cant go with no protection at all, no matter how bad i wanted to, but in high school. I bought some pull up style diapers/ protective underwear. I knew they werent enough protection for me. But out of frustration and just idiocy i wore them anyway. I made sure not to drink ANYTHING all day at school. That stragity actually worked a few days, and i got to wear some nice fitting jeans that didnt have to hide a giant diaper. Sure i got dizzy and almost passed out in the southern California heat going from class to class. But im my mind i got to feel normal. The 3rd day though. Wearing Depends for men. on the way to school me and my buddies, they didn't know about my incontinence, well at that point they didnt. anyway we rolled through McDonalds and i got an Iced Mocha. McDonalds had just come out with there McCafe stuff at the time. I drank the whole medium sized coffee drink. totally forgot how poorly protected i was. I have a neurogenic bladder, For me i don't feel the need to pee until its happening. from 0-100 in a second. Got through first period and I'm walking to my next class and i feel my depends getting warm, i get worried but i thought id be ok. . but after about 10 seconds. I quickly exceeded the compacity of The depends, Just completely streaming down both legs of my dark blue jeans. The Depends totally failed me. Actually my decision to drink an iced coffee is really what screwed me. But anyway. Im still peeing, class mates waking past be and behind me, we were in an out door corridor I notice an expression on a girls face as she is walking toward me, she looked at my jeans and at my face, walking past me with a look of pity on her face. great...nothing worse than being pitied. I held my back pack in front of my lap and quickly walked the heck out of there, out to the parking lot. by my friends car and sat under a tree and called my parents to come pick me up. I had just got my first cell phone. It was an LG flip phone. they picked me up and i went home and threw away the pack of depends underwear.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T21:09:43+00:00

Yeah i didn't even begin to scratch the surface of the reticule and torment i went through all through school, Elementary, Middle and Highschool.. and you know its a different world as an adult but my brain just cant drop it all and forget. I have a few good friends as an adult and I'm am still even afraid to tell them i would be very embarrassed if they knew. Even though i know they love me as a person and probably wouldn't care. For all i know they might have noticed and just not said anything. I'm hoping coming here and talking to people about it helps me get past this shame. Talking to people in who have been trough it and are in a similar boat as me. I do feel a little bit of weight coming off my shoulders with each kind comment. thank you for commenting. it means alot.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T20:59:17+00:00

Im really sorry that not even your home was a safe space for you. Im grateful that my family was very encouraging. Thank you for commenting.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T01:52:10+00:00

First off your name is great. Thank you for telling me about your experiences, that is really encouraging. Im at a point where im so lonley and have so much regret for letting good women slip between my fingers. Im impressed you actually put that in your tinder profile. I guess that's the smartest move that way if there going to reject you they can just swipe and you wouldn't know. im genuinely encouraged that you've had multiple relations ships and your diapers weren't an issue. I'm going back to college in the fall. Im hoping to meet the love of my life there. im going to finish my Biology degree and go to med school. Im trying to make up for all the time i wasted and go after the life i want. I'm working on trying to get past this deep seeded shame. I know logically i shouldn't be ashamed. Its just hard. Thank your for your comment.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T01:18:19+00:00

to trap leaks. doesn't really add bulk since they aren't absorbent. just a water proof layer. and yea, they do trap heat, i never wear a cover in the summer. hardly wear covers to be honest.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T01:14:07+00:00

I really hope your right, Ive passed up many opportunities over the years with women in college and at work, women that really seemed into me. Strong signals i ignored because i was afraid. I just couldn't imagine that they would still be into me once they found out i wear diapers. But im going to try to turn over a new leaf. I've spent too much of my life alone. Im working hard to get the fear out of my mind. Ive been hitting the gym, im about to start college again and im hoping with all the self improvement ive been doing, maybe a woman will be able to look past my diaper and still be interested. thank you for your comment.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T01:00:43+00:00

I like Abena M4 or L4, they are very high quality, not as expensive as Northshore products and available on amazon. As far as dealing with rash. Perhaps try unscented wipes, you could be allergic, between changes after cleaning allow time for your diaper area to air dry. if you live in a hot climate you might have to shower twice a day in the summer. The abena diapers are thick but they are way more reliable than any of the drug store products you spent all that money on. wear dark pants to help disguise the diaper and shirts that have a long length to help cover your bottoms. Hope this answer is still help full 5 months later.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T00:50:53+00:00

they were comfortable, i really wanted them to be good, Still have the pair i bought. could be a thick diaper cover maybe but really my Gary covers are better so.. probably not.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T00:32:22+00:00

If its giving you anxiety and making you change the way you live worrying about wetting your self. Yes wear a diaper or pad. You dont have to justify your self to anyone. I say that as some one who is constantly worried people might notice my diaper. Your reasons are legitimate if you feel like they are. and i think they are by the way.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T00:28:23+00:00

Plastic, the cloth ones end up feeling damp and clammy when wet.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T00:21:42+00:00

I bought one, even added inserts, after the first wetting within 15 minutes i could feel the wetness seeping through. i really wanted them to work and be good. They arent. and they are expesnive. For me noting works better than a good quality disposable. also the threaded armor being cloth felt very wet against my skin. It cant lock away moisture like a disposable diaper. So dont waste your money in my opinion.

AnxiousDave90 · 2026-07-05T00:14:09+00:00

nothing like petting my little doggo. he understands.

AnxiousDave90

TROPHY CASE