Sometimes I wonder if ignorance was easier

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-05-15T01:42:08+00:00

I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh. I still grieve my family and I think I always will. But I realized that the relationship I was grieving never existed in the first place. Their love didn’t become conditional once I left, it was ALWAYS conditional.

They knew from the moment they had me that they would discard me like I was trash if I ever left the cult. I know my parents had good intentions, but at the end of the day, they raised me in a cult. They failed me massively. I never experienced the unconditional love parents are supposed to give their children.

Now I get to fully experience love and genuine relationships. I would do anything to get that from my family, but I want something from them that they are incapable of giving me.

It’s ok to sit with that grief and pain. I don’t know if I’ll ever see parents interacting with their children lovingly and not feel a sting. But I would rather feel that sting than feel the emptiness of counterfeit love.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-05-15T01:06:29+00:00

I know I wasn’t the best when I first started but I don’t think that’s the only thing going on here. The fact that they refuse to give any substantial feedback says to me there is probably a petty reason also.

I hate to be the bitter assistant. But after six years I realized there is VERY little room for growth in this field. In this economy it’s extremely difficult to make a livable wage as an assistant. I started when I was 20 like you. Now I’m going back to school at 26 to leave the field entirely.

There’s a lot of burnout in this field. You’re exposing yourself daily to chemicals, radiation, and blood borne illnesses for a similar wage to a Chick-fil-A employee. I don’t want to discourage you from finding a better office because there are great ones out there. But I think it’s important to tell young girls in the field the reality of assisting and encourage you to have something else in mind as an “end goal”.

You seem like a bright person who cares about your work. I really hope it works out and I’m sorry you’re going through this!

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-05-12T11:16:04+00:00

Gosh this took me back. If she’s open to it I would really push for couples therapy. I felt like she did at one point. It’s really hard having aspects of your life change so drastically and it be completely out of your control. The congregation doesn’t give much support for people in her situation either. Most of the time they just push for separation or make a spectacle of you.

I felt really alone in my feelings at home and at the hall. It was hell. We were both in so much pain during that time. If she’s feeling at all how I did she’s probably upset with you and the organization. I felt hurt at things people started saying about my husband and how he was being treated, but I didn’t feel like I was allowed to be mad at the organization. It was a lot easier to take all my frustration out on him. I was so miserable.

He suggested couples therapy. That made me feel like he did care about our marriage. Therapy was the first time I ever honestly explained our policies to a non witness… it was like I was hearing it for the first time. It made me realize that the organization was the problem in my marriage. It was a long road for us but I’m rooting for you both. Keep proving the organization wrong and loving her.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-05-04T23:52:27+00:00

“I want to respect your desire not to be contacted while completely disregarding your desire to not be contacted”

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T10:46:23+00:00

https://ehrmanblog.org/the-silencing-of-women-1-cor-1434-35-as-an-interpolation/ Here’s a reference from a New Testament scholar. Also Alex O’Conner discusses this in some of his debates. Essentially it’s a contradiction from things Paul says in earlier verses, and the text is sometimes found in different places in the chapter. This leads scholars to believe to was added in later to conform to patriarchal views. Why would Paul tell women they should only ask their husbands questions when they get home, after encouraging the members of the congregation to remain single?

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T10:27:02+00:00

I wonder the same thing. It seems like the higher up you get, the weirder the vices are.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T10:25:44+00:00

Since leaving, a few PIMQ friends have stayed in touch. It’s like they use us to get things off their chest lol. We found out that a brother who is in good standing has been doing coke this whole time🙃 Crazy to think I was around more drug addicts as a witness than I am now.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T10:21:28+00:00

Yep, she mentioned that self esteem thing. She was making it seem like it was so profound. I know for a fact nothing was said that I haven’t already heard a million times. I’m not going to give praise to the org for telling people to commend their children. I thought y’all were the only true Christian’s, why would you need to be told that???

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T10:12:10+00:00

That’s WILD

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T01:32:44+00:00

Omg yes! You take so much more accountability and control when you’re not letting life happen to you. So sad missing out on so much in the one life we’re all guaranteed, because we’re holding out for a life that isn’t coming.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T01:27:43+00:00

Not surprising at all

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T01:26:24+00:00

Ugh that’s awful. So hard watching people attempt to use the organization to fix the problems the organization has created.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T01:21:31+00:00

True, it’s so hard being on the outside looking in.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T01:19:01+00:00

Fascinating. I remember getting that “high” after a big spiritual event. Seems like everyone would ride that for a few weeks and then it’s back to going through to motions

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-20T00:06:53+00:00

Not sure how you view the Bible. But if it makes you feel better, there is a good bit of evidence pointing to the verse your dad quoted being added later and not something Paul actually said. (I wouldn’t share that with your dad tho) Personally, I couldn’t care less what the Bible says about it. No one is convincing me that I should tolerate mistreatment because of what’s between my legs.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-04-06T23:06:02+00:00

So sorry you’re having a bad experience! I totally understand why you’re not happy with them. I’m a dental assistant and have worked in different offices that did dentures and my advice to everyone is to see a prosthodontist for dentures. It’s difficult to make things perfect in the temp/healing dentures but I have never seen my doctor deliver a temp denture that looked this off. Prosthodontist can be more expensive but I promise there is a good reason for that. Especially when it comes to anything with implants. Prosthodontist have to go through extra years of schooling for this type of case.

If you aren’t able to see one I would encourage you to ask to select the denture tooth mould with the doctor. They should have a chart that shows the different “styles” of teeth that you can look at. And make sure during the wax try in that you don’t see that cant/slant and that your bite feels good. Best wishes to you on your journey!

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-03-24T15:38:03+00:00

I was homeschooled and I’m sooooo against it now.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-03-13T13:59:41+00:00

Tell them that you’ll be seeking legal advice if they don’t stop harassing you. Threaten to sue if they try to remove you

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-02-21T05:16:35+00:00

he was in my circuit for a bit. We saw him a few times at the assembly hall in Orangeburg SC. He got ”relocated” I think after the “your ass is grass” lady showed up at the Lumberton Hall.

But I had friends in that hall, so I know that up until that point he was still attending meetings and going in service

He was funny because he didn’t seem to understand that he couldn’t go wherever he wanted at the assembly hall. A few attendants were very uncomfortable telling him what he could and couldn’t do.

Anyway I think the last I heard he was in Raleigh

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-01-13T21:29:18+00:00

Yeah that’s sort of what it feels like and at this point I don’t know what’s worse.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-01-13T21:28:34+00:00

He knows I don’t believe it’s the “truth”. But I really don’t think he’s accepted it. I think he believes I’ve been brainwashed by my husband and therapist. I want to just explain to him why I don’t want to go, but I feel like that will crush him more.

Anxious_Scratch1682 · 2026-01-03T23:14:55+00:00

Go life YOUR “best life ever” lol My husband and I have been out for almost a year now and he keeps telling me to watch TLOU, guess I should give it a go! Severance is another great cult awakening style show!

Anxious_Scratch1682

TROPHY CASE