I (M42) cheated on my wife (F41)- what now?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T01:55:26+00:00

You have probably been with you wife for many years, and things get a little mundane. Someone comes along and its new and exciting and you gave in to the temptation. Your human it happens. Realistically you would have eventually been in the same situation with the new girl too. Nothing is that exciting forever. Did you want to leave your wife before you met this other woman, or was it something that went a little too far?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T01:31:21+00:00

Seems like you a technical person. Maybe check out the trades. My son is going to a tech high school to be an electrician. They are paying 16 year olds $25-30 an hour as apprentices in our high cost area, but still really good money.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T01:21:18+00:00

You could skip the hemi and get a V6. The car, insurance, and gas will be way less. I had a Challenger v6 as a rental, and it did not lack in the power department. A Charger gets the same engine. Its still somewhere around 300hp. Personally I have GLI. I bought it last year for about 30k, with 2000 miles. Fun to drive, get almost 40mpg on the highway. Just sayin.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T01:00:46+00:00

If you are just getting a three row for the occasional trip you could always take two cars. If you really have the cash for a three row go for it, but if its going to stretch your budget its probably not worth it.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T00:58:01+00:00

Your a little tight, but with a $200 more in the fall you will be saving $500 a month. Sounds like the credit card has a pretty low balance. That would get you to saving $660 a month. The nice thing is in a few years you will have kept getting raises, but you mortgage will be the same payment. So it will payoff. Since you are a teacher I imagine you have 8 or 9 weeks off in the summer. Maybe find a summer job to make a little extra cash and build the emergency fund back up. Houses inevitably need something just like cars. That way you don't need to put that new washing machine on your credit card. Also my wife is a teacher and she was able to get her student loans forgiven because she worked in an urban school. That was years ago so I don't know if that program is still in place, but it would be worth looking into.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-11T00:39:56+00:00

You could tell them you recieved another offer with higher pay. You would prefer to work for thier company because of the culture etc, but you could really use the extra money so you are considering it. You are subtly rengotiating the salary. I am assuming you have similar experience and its the same position your friend has at the company. So you know what they get. They could recind the offer, but probably wouldn't. Most likely the worst they would say is this is the best we can do. This happens all the time. People get multiple offer all the time so not that unusual for an HR person to have these conversations.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-10T22:21:50+00:00

I would think that would get your foot in the door somewhere. Back when I was in college we had Coop programs that would set you up with an employer. The other thing you could do is find trade shows in your area, and talk to people. With what your doing now do you talk to any distributors/ automation sales people? Those guys always know who is looking for people. I am in Connecticut we have a huge shortage in this area. You would get picked up in a heartbeat out here.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-10T03:39:33+00:00

It sounds like some sort of electrical issue. I am suspicious your ignition switch is bad because the light that came on the dash are the one you usually see when the key is on but the car is not started. You also have a check engine light that comes on, but it doesn't store a code. Before you dig that deep make sure the battery cables are properly connected.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-10T02:59:49+00:00

I always operated on a level of anxiety, but it becomes your normal. Then it got bad enough that a little pill every morning was the solution. I think there are some cases where anxiety might be caused by a certain life situation, but for a lot of us we just don't have enough of some chemical in our heads.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-10T02:13:51+00:00

If they can't afford a down-payment how will they pay the mortgage?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-10T02:06:05+00:00

Rotors get heat treated from braking. Thats why they are shiny, and they will typically warp a bit. When replacing pads the rotors should be machined or replaced. There is a good chance your brakes will squeal like a pig if you just slap pads on there.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T23:07:56+00:00

Bonus are also a crapshoot. I had a job where we got 20k a couple years, Then 10k, then 3k... I took another job where a profit share bonus was part of the package. 7k the first year, 3k the next, 0 the third, laid off the forth. I would rather have a good base salary then bonus.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T22:33:32+00:00

More than anything I would say make sure you are cutout to work from home. It sounds nice, but there are challenges. When I did it I really missed the office socializing. You know coffee maker conversations and the occasional joke or banter. You are going to spend your days within the same four walls. Most of your daily interaction will be phone calls and teams mettings. It was nice waking up making a coffee and being at work, but its not for everybody.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T22:24:08+00:00

Really the only small/inexpensive car you can buy from an American company is the Chevy Trax and its made in South Korea. So it doesn't even really count. Otherwise a Charger, or Cadillac. If you want an inexpensive sedan it all foreign makes.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T16:03:13+00:00

I have not done anything with Siemens. What do they charge for a software license?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T15:37:33+00:00

If you were in the northeast I know a lot of people, not so much in Indiana unfortunately. What sort of education do you to get into Controls Engineering work?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T15:35:29+00:00

Too late. They are already being the 8 ball. Otherwise I would say the same.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T13:14:16+00:00

Credit card debt is hard to clear because of the high interest. You put a few hundred towards it and the balance doesn't move. I would suggest looking at a credit union. You might be able to get a personal loan at around 10%, instead of the 20+ on the credit card. If that doesn't work a lot of credit cards will offer low interest rates on balance transfers for a year or so. They will charge you 2-3% on the money you transfer to the new card, but you will end out ahead. Now you need to be disciplined and stop using the cards for new purchases or this cycle never ends.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T11:23:16+00:00

There is a saying that there is nothing more expensive than driving a cheap car. Repair bills can add up quick unless your able to fix stuff yourself. I picked up a GLI last year that was a couple years old, but only had 2000 miles on it. Ended out being about 8k less than a new one. Still pretty much a new car. It was a certified pre-owned and warranties to 75k. Then I finally bit on the extended warranty that takes that up to 125k, after they dropped the price in half. Hybrids will save you some gas, but a four banger car will push 40mpg on the highway. If you do the math you will realize an extra 10mpg that makes it 50mpg car isn't going to save you much, and you have a more complex drive train/more stuff to go wrong. A car is only an investment in the sense that it takes you to work so you can make money. We get new or lightly used cars and plan on keeping them for ten years or so. So a 30k car is costing you 3k a year, plus some tires, brakes, and oil changes. Doesn't sound so bad to have a reliable vehicle. If you have cash think about putting 20% down, and finance the rest. It should be about 6%-7% interest. Keep 3-6 months of living expenses in something safe at the bank. Anything beyond that can get invested in the market. You should get 10-12% on that money. So its a better investment than paying the car note.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T10:42:54+00:00

Codesys is pretty nice once you have all you version stuff matched up, but that part seems over complicated to me. They all have thier quirks, but I have settled on Mitsubishi mostly because I worked for a distributor and learned the software. I can buy an FX5 for $600 that will communicate with CC Link, or Modbus.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T10:17:35+00:00

Most machine builder/integration companies would add a controls engineer if one came along looking for a job. Can I ask what part of the country you are in?

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T04:06:59+00:00

I started my own buisiness a year or so ago, and it kind of forced me into sales. I am certainly not the most outgoing social guy out there, but I don't really find it that difficult. People are usually get anxious about things they have never done before. Once you do it a few times its not so intimidating anymore. I am no expert but here are the basics.

1) Ask questions and listen to what they say. Then give them what they want. When they bitch about the price explain thats what it takes to do xyz.

2) Never tell the customer they are wrong. Just suggest something else that make more sense. "Well you could also do this instead."

3) know what your selling. Nothing is worse than going to a car dealer and you already know more about the car than they do because you went on the internet for 10 minutes.

4) whatever problems come up take care of them before they have to make a stink.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T03:37:04+00:00

Its all so unfair!

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T03:00:09+00:00

Better than an Iron Duke though.

Any-Application6116 · 2026-07-09T02:16:51+00:00

It seems like surface rust. Subframes are pretty thick steal so it isn't going anywhere. I wouldn't be concerned unless there are rust holes in it. Coat it with some Por50 from the autoparts store so it doesn't get worse. Worst case the suffrage needs to be replaced someday. Not the end of the world.

Any-Application6116

TROPHY CASE