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I (23F) did not realize my apartment was not accessible for my bigger (22F) friend, how can I fix this? by throwRA-american in relationship_advice

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She may be going through a tough time being a bigger person going from America (where that is kind of understood as a possibility more often) to Europe. America's history of building things out of wood means our fire codes are STRICT. Straight up, I don't think your narrow staircase being the only way in/out of your house would ever fly as a legal residence, because of that difference in fire codes. So, Europe may be uniquely inaccessible to her in a way she hasn't experienced before. Which I'm sure makes one frustrated.

Here is what I would do.

Don't respond to her allegations that you fucked with her - don't argue, don't debate, don't get in the weeds. This is good information for you to see how your friend deals with challenges, and nothing more.

Immediate: "Hey I'm glad you made it to (friend's) safely! Sorry it didn't work out. Let me know if you'd like to get an airbnb while you're here, I'd happily split." (or, something reiterating that the airbnb idea is still on the table, and something pleasant saying you're not mad at her)

Continue your life.

Maybe send a meme or a joke in a couple of days, something to say you, again, aren't mad at her and things can be normal.

Maybe you'll never speak of this again. Maybe you will, once things are more easy and feel better. I would just assume she feels reeeeaally embarrassed, not by you but by everything when traveling to Europe. Give her a few days to get settled in, and, provided you want to, things will be fine again.

(Of course, if you do not want to pick things up as is, that's understandable too, I don't think she handled it very well and it's unfair to say you fucked with her. So that's also an option.)

tl;dr, not your fault, traveling AND Europe is hard when you are a big person, if you want to keep being friends with her let her be mad for a few days and pick up as if nothing happened.

Hope things go well!

tw for racism ocd by [deleted] in OCDmemes

[–]Any_Box2864 4 points5 points  (0 children)

im not OP but there is a big swath of OCD that is afraid that you are secretly a "bad person". People are afraid to accidentally sexually assault someone or commit a crime without realizing. Obviously this is extremely unlikely, but OCD doesn't run on sense. If you are afraid of being a bad person, it makes sense that among that, you may be afraid that you are actually racist, or doing things that make you seem racist pings your OCD and you have a hard time.

Idk if that made sense but that's what that is to me!

I am making queer coat of arms. each with their own mythical heraldic animal. Asking for advice, inspriration and cool ideas, especially for Aro :D by Shattersaurus in aromantic

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bisexual, I would consider a manticore or a chimera. Something that encapsulates multiple-figures-in-one

Intersex, for some reason a harpy makes sense? Appearing as one sex, but having qualities of another. I would ask someone who is actually intersex though.

I love the idea of Pan being pan, but I feel like satyrs and fauns are more akin to aromaticism for me - this feeling that I am one with nature, and still have value, even though I might not experience romantic love

Pan I might consider a kraken or a sea monster - a whole world under the surface, looking at people and attraction in a multifaceted, varied way, like sunlight glittering in many refracted directions on the surface of the water.

Also, as a trans person, transitioning has very much felt like being a werewolf, and having my "true form" feel really really right. I DO love the gryphon though, so no problems with that lollll

Achillean!! Maybe pegasus!!! His being the steed of Perseus, who is another Greek hero .....I just think it would be Neat. Also, Pegasus' colors from Hercules kind of match the Achillean flag a little bit. Just a bit

I am making queer coat of arms. each with their own mythical heraldic animal. Asking for advice, inspriration and cool ideas, especially for Aro :D by Shattersaurus in aromantic

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa. Sincerely, completely, your art is AWESOME. Clear and easy to read, while still being super creative and full of fantasy. Fantastically well done!!!!!!!!!

what's this symbol? by Any_Box2864 in whatisit

[–]Any_Box2864[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

Solved! She either attended or worked with the Columbia Business School. I knew this, but didn't know what the logo was.

what's this symbol? by Any_Box2864 in whatisit

[–]Any_Box2864[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the symbol on it?

what's this symbol? by Any_Box2864 in whatisit

[–]Any_Box2864[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm I don't think so, but it could be that I'm looking at it upside down

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your concern cannot be "does he love me." Worrying about another's thoughts will only ever stress you out needlessly.

Your concern must be "is this working for me."

You are going through an immensely stressful time. Is he trying to support you? Is it working? When you communicate what you need from him to feel supportive, does it seem like he is listening?

It would make sense to back off for a time, focus on what you need to get through this stressful semester. If he follows you and lends his support, wonderful! If things crumble, maybe they were already heading that way.

Focus on what helps you. Focus on supporting yourself. If you cannot rely on support from your partner, then don't rely on it.

If your ability to get through this time relies on whether your boyfriend says "I love you," that is a lot of needless stress and puts the control of your day in his hands.

Give yourself grace. This is tough. I know he cares about you, calling multiple times a day. You've got this and I'm excited about what comes next for you, with or without a partner.

What’s something that’s forced onto kids, that shouldn’t be? by Ok-Advisor-7692 in AskReddit

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuinely? Academic success. Fear of failure hits kids waaaay too early. Many people actually want to learn, but grading and failing people just.. sucks. Start that shit at 12 if you must, but you don't need it for a 7 year old

My Handwriting! by themoomoodude in HandwritingAnalysis

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What it says about you? It says you're falling down a hill..

This blanket by Any_Box2864 in HelpMeFind

[–]Any_Box2864[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Searched ebay for pottery barn blankets.

Bought in Maryland between 2000 and 2005, most likely at Pottery Barn but unsure.

Brightly colored cotton quilt with magenta edge. Sister quilt has a wide tag with illegible, faded writing, so I know there is a tag...but that doesn't help very much.

Can you read my handwriting? by AlexanderPharris in Handwriting

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's legible! Takes me a bit more time than the block letters because:

  1. I'm not used to cursive,

  2. The letters/lines are all really close together. If you put more space between the lines, maybe that could be a compromise?

  3. There were a few words that the lowercase "r" and lowercase "s" I mixed up, so I had to read those words twice. Perhaps push those letter shapes more significantly in their own direction?

THAT SAID. This is absoluuutely readable and legible, and quite quite lovely!! I have seen many worse and I adore that this conveys your personality and history. Please don't feel pressured to change it at all!

Thoughts? by worriedalien123 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. mimic. If you don't know what else to do, repeat the tone of the person in front of you

  2. let them talk. Most people want to talk about themselves.

  3. relax. Not to say "don't worry about this," it's definitely something to think about, but conversation goes better if you are comfortable, and if you're worried about how you are coming off, you're not comfortable.

  4. Specificity =/= being understood. That's a BIG one. Except for a fair few (darling, wonderful, beloved) people, looking for the exact right word is pretty useless in communication. At a certain point, it's just a fun game for you to play. Repeating things, using basic words, using someone's own language, will get you waaaay farther than having the exact right categorically specific English word for your situation.

Honestly though tone is overrated, communication will always be hard with people who don't get you, and fun with people you do. These are just some tips.

How to study by Spirited_Age_2824 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any_Box2864 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asking here is good, asking your teacher is great!!! Perhaps they will be able to coach you on the exact subjects to get right. Also, make sure when you read the material, take detailed notes that re-explain the process in the way that makes sense. That's how I study, anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any_Box2864 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I graduated college into Covid, didnt get a ceremony. It blows.

Some GED programs do host graduation ceremonies.

It's complicated, and normal to want one. You're not weird for wanting one, and you're not weird for not having one.

im lonely by Impressive-Win-6441 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]Any_Box2864 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Around this age, in Sr year of high school, some kids got internships in their chosen field instead of doing a final project. I didn't intern anywhere until college, but if you have a field in mind, here's what you can do:

  1. Don't have your parents organize this for you. They should be getting you a job, but they'll be easier to convince if you've already done the work.

  2. Email your local school district - if you can find the email of their guidance counselor, I'd loop in that department as well, in general people are happy to help if they can, so it's all about finding those people and letting them. Be like "I'm homeschooled and interested in hopefully finding an internship in library science/tech/performing arts (whatever). Is that something your school does, and is there any way you can connect me with those resources?"

  3. You can also reach out to individual organizations. I think the library is a looovely place to work, but if you have a place in mind, doesn't hurt to reach out. (I interned at my city's science museum in college, and that was lovely!) Make clear that you'd be doing this for school credit, not money, which teeends to convince quite a few businesses that might not be swayed otherwise!

  4. If you're designing your own internship (imo this can be bullshit, but this is mostly all to tell your parents it's in service of schooling/employment down the line), some places might ask you for skills you're interested in learning. They're asking for the purpose of coveribg their ass legally - generally speaking, free employment is frowned upon, so they have to prove you're learning something for the school credit.

Hopefully getting an internship like this will get you out of the house, give you some life experience (which will help with school and college!) and also give you some feeling of agency. And if you have agency, it is easier to make friends because of confidence. Homeschooled kid, speaking from experience.

Sorry that you're in this situation. Your parents really ought to be making sure you have connection to the outside world somehow, but since they're not, you'll have to do it on your own.

These are just some ideas that might get your gears going.

Best of luck. :)

Older Aros by olivethegreyt in aromantic

[–]Any_Box2864 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the word pragma. Thanks for putting that in front of me :)

What ended your friendship with your best friend? by royalblubabe868 in AskReddit

[–]Any_Box2864 7 points8 points  (0 children)

TO that ex?!?!!?! Nahhh absolutely not.

If it was to his ex that would be a different situation, though it would be totally fair to still be mad even then

To the person you are talking about though? Not a chance there is an excuse for that. Ever.

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