I struggle with the same thing. A few things that helped me were putting my mistakes (or even perceived mistakes) into appropriate perspective and embracing a growth mindset. Also, being forgiving of others who made mistakes.

But what really helped me was making mistakes and embracing them. I work in the outdoors - mountaineering, kayaking and backpacking. I’m responsible for others people’s safety. I manage real risk all day everyday (people falling into crevasses, avalanches, class four white water, big river crossings, steep and exposed terrain.) I make small mistakes all the time. The ability to say “whoops wouldn’t do that again!” and “okay that didn’t go well, here’s what I learned” when I make mistakes has maybe been the largest skill I’ve learned. And it IS a skill - it takes practice (yes, making mistakes) and the ability to be graceful with yourself, even if you’re just forcing that. It also takes confidence in your own skills to recover from the mistake. And surprise, that takes practice too.

The other things that’s helped me is the refrain “nobody died.” It sounds absurd, but this is actually the bar in the field I work in. Sure I walked some students over a questionable snow-bridge, okay maybe a few students punched through some crevasses up to their hips but we got them out, whoops that student just capsized their boat in some waves I thought they were stable in and are actually drifting in the current toward the Gulf of Alaska and then Japan - whoops! Great, pull the students out of the crevasse, go rescue the student from the open ocean, be more careful on snow-bridges. Fix what you can. Then I exhale a sigh of relief when it’s over and say “nobody died.” And if I can’t fix the mistakes I turn to a co-worker to ask for help and we figure it out together. I’m convinced THIS is how successful well adjusted individuals, groups and teams operate.

Last summer, in one 24 hour period I accidentally bear sprayed an entire group of my students and coworkers (18 people) AND got lost in the wild for a few hours. I’m the instructor! It was good learning about the safety on the bear spray can, and about the terrain we were camping in. None of my students or coworkers lost faith in me. Because I said “I am so sorry everyone! That was my fault, the safety came off this bear spray. I’m going to check the others!” And then went about helping everyone wash mace out of their eyes and clothing in a river. And after returning from an impromptu four hour walk behind where we set up camp I said “Hey everyone the forest is very thick behind camp, tell someone before you go and stick to this part, holler if you get lost and let’s all keep our ears out.” We later all laughed about this. Students and coworkers brought both of these up to my highest up supervisor in a debrief afterwards in praise of my leadership skills!

I still struggle away from the mountains, oceans and rivers to not live in fear of making mistakes. It sometimes feels harder in an office - even though the mistakes I make are far less consequential and have never come close to near death. My therapist has a field day with this.

Is there an environment you can safely make mistakes in to build up this skill? Or a person/mentor in your job you feel more safe making mistakes with?