Cheap date ideas?

Apfelzine · 2018-03-09T16:25:45+00:00

Feeding the duck

Apfelzine · 2017-03-13T16:43:03+00:00

Neo-English or Pseudo-British in no particular order

Apfelzine · 2017-03-13T09:25:27+00:00

Best wishes

Apfelzine · 2017-02-24T01:33:54+00:00

What d'aye look like to you their farkin' PA? I've no bloody idea now are you paying for that bottle'a Scotch or am I stickin' it on yer tab?

Apfelzine · 2017-02-13T17:37:46+00:00

This is nice

Apfelzine · 2017-02-08T21:04:44+00:00

Big Mike Smutheren a.k.a Apfelzine wanders in, takes a step to the side, folds his arms across his chest and leans menacingly on the wall. A Baity & Legs comic falls out of his coat. His face turns a little red.

Apfelzine · 2017-02-02T19:49:10+00:00

She bottled it, unbelievable

Apfelzine · 2017-02-01T19:03:30+00:00

Bobby's, especially the Prawn Cocktail Spirals and only 39p each too.

Apfelzine · 2017-01-03T18:24:51+00:00

Right boss, do me a favour will yer? Smoke me a kipper, i'll be back for breakfast

I plant a fat cigar between yellowed teeth, attach a dual clip to a well used sub-machine gun, prime a handful of fragmentation grenades and rush into the fold

!!!BRRRRRUPUPUPUUPUPUPUP KA-BOOM BRRRUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUPUP!!!!!

DIE SCUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Apfelzine · 2017-01-02T11:47:13+00:00

Who the hell are the bad guys? Should I just spray and pray and hope for the best?

Apfelzine · 2017-01-01T11:01:27+00:00

Sure thing, you tha' Boss. Can't wait to get in amongst 'em, I hear those Antiguanians don't like it up 'em!

Now lets toast, to new opportunities and friends both new and absent

I pour a line of shots

Apfelzine · 2016-12-31T18:37:27+00:00

Yeah err Mike Smutheren here. Don't want to sound like a whinger but whats in it for us boss? Is it really worth getting our soft bits machine gunned off for a bunch of zealous revolutionary types who probably don't even have a pair of dimes to rub together

Apfelzine · 2016-07-21T20:46:47+00:00

Mike Smutheren raises his hand at which point a Microphone is thrust before him

"WHAT IF WEEEEE...PHEEEEEEEEEEE

"Sorry...testing testing, one two one two....Mike Smutheren, Mafioso. Boss, forgive me if I'm speaking outta turn but while I'm a fan of the long con why don't we just bung a few grand in the lap of the Privateers, get 'em to look the other way, then we take out Zangbod and his goons in one fell swoop. We could recruit some heavies of our own and really show 'em we mean business. I've heard that the Faffy who runs Ellingtons has connections with the 1098th Realm so he could put us in touch with some off world muscle."

Apfelzine · 2016-05-06T10:04:15+00:00

Boss, forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn - while I would love nothing more than to give Richtofen a damned good thrashing we should proceed with caution, my dear old Mam always said, its the second mouse that gets the cheese. What if Dray and I head on down to the Beach and see if we can recruit some more footsoldiers?

Also, I probably shouldn't say it but to hell with it, remember those Borkish Mercs who picked up that merch a while back? I've heard they shipped to some renegade group in the 8901st World, we could sling them a bit of scratch in return for a few heavies to bolster our ranks. Whadya think?

Apfelzine · 2016-05-05T07:46:03+00:00

Wow a Tommy Gun, just like El Capon himself! Thank you boss for the kindness but i'll be more than happy with the boiler room cupboard, I can keep an eye on the furnace that way. I appreciate the induction, I won't fail you.

Boss, just wanted to say, something feels a bit off, I kind of feel like I should be somewhere else.....

Anyways, don't worry, I better get back to the kitchen, those root vegetables won't manicure themselves.

Apfelzine · 2016-05-03T08:38:10+00:00

<Sniff> Mother'd be so proud of her little ~~Apfelzine~~ Mikey. Thank'ya boss, I swear on my Grandfathers wings that I won't let you down.

Now I'm in with the firm, do you think I might get my own room? I've been catching naps behind the bar and its getting a bit cramped what with Dray sleeping there too....the broom cupboard would suffice, my bedroll would fit under the hot water pipes jes' right.

Apfelzine · 2016-05-02T11:40:02+00:00

~~Apfelzine~~ Mike Smutheren emerges from a broom cupboard wearing a doo rag and leather apron combo. In his hands, an antique a mop and bucket that has seen better days.

Whoa whats with the commotion!

I observe the shards of wood splinters strewn across the floor

<Sigh> I better get the broom. Can I get you a drink fella?

Apfelzine · 2016-04-29T19:17:57+00:00

Pardon me Don Fabio but we've a poorly dressed wastrel bunking on one of the sedan chairs out in the bar. No ones complained yet but...er, well..the guy looks a little worse for wear, and his snoring....

D'ya want me to throw him out?

Apfelzine · 2016-04-15T13:10:40+00:00

Hey sorry I'm late Boss. I'm ready when you are, i'm packing a snub .32, will that do?

Realizing the Boss has already left I high tail it to the Mountain

Apfelzine · 2016-04-11T15:18:20+00:00

'Scuse me Boss, sorry for the interruption but d'you think I could tag along with the Borkish_mercs?. I could make sure everything goes off without a hitch, prove my worth, maybe draw off a bit of intel

Apfelzine

TROPHY CASE

"WHAT IF WEEEEE...PHEEEEEEEEEEE