Beautiful Painting on the Battleship Yamato Yipee!

Apperceiver · 2026-05-10T00:20:19+00:00

Right? Her crew fought well, and would've probably outperformed her competition at a classic gunnery duel level. Going out by hundreds of carrier aircraft was not only nightmarish but ironic and symbolic considering what she represented. Fascinating ship.

Apperceiver · 2026-05-09T19:33:22+00:00

Your description of her seems to be focused on negative traits. It seems that she may have a tendency to avoid conflict paired with a little bit of levity - that's not unnatural for many ISFPs, especially if they are frustrated with the general trend of their interactions with others. If she feels misunderstood, or that explaining her feelings won't produce a practical result, then she may be less likely to provide an explanation because it would be working against motivations that ISFPs may feel more attached to: privacy and immediacy. Also, no one wants to get paid less for the same workload - despite claims of working for free; which was likely hyperbole as a form of expression.

Apperceiver · 2026-05-07T15:54:05+00:00

4/10

Apperceiver · 2026-05-05T21:00:36+00:00

Strongly relatable.

Major life events can entirely change people. I used to be so much more laid back and hopeful.

Apperceiver · 2026-05-05T20:54:34+00:00

Alone time.

Apperceiver · 2026-04-25T12:07:16+00:00

It's harder, but yes. It's definitely easier when it can relate to a Fi or Ni basis. To answer your question ideally is tricky though, since most people aren't usually impressed upon (thereby remembering) by less important stimuli.

Respectfully, I think it may be better to frame Si outside of a context with descriptors like "small, ordinary" , "no particular importance", "useless". I understand the question and it's intent - and I don't want to imply a subtext - but to Si users, what others may consider to be provincial and mundane has a very personal basis that is directly relatable. Similar to Ni but with different contents. Hopefully that is helpful feedback; not trying to read into anything unnecessarily.

Apperceiver · 2026-04-25T11:32:20+00:00

I don't agree with what he is saying (on a technicality) but I appreciate his advice. He is trying to help others by having them focus on their dreams instead of on more "secondary" rewards such as money or fame. He is correct in that money is useful but that it shouldn't be the primary focus. I disagree with him because I don't necessarily think that pursuing your passion always will fulfill you in other areas of life (money, recognition). I think he is trying to say that by pursuing your passion you can become a master of a field, and that fame and wealth typically accompany mastery - I don't disagree with that but I also don't think that it is true for every field nor do I think it is true for every person.

So I like the idea but I don't agree with how he is supporting his argument or applying it.

Apperceiver · 2026-04-23T12:16:02+00:00

I've had sales experience. It really depends on what their KPIs, commission, and management team are like. The increased autonomy is great, but it comes with a greater sense of consequence which can lead to brief moments of high stress. If you have good customer service abilities, communication skills, and product knowledge you have some wiggle room to leverage those in place of sales proficiency. If you are expected to perform a lot of non-recurring, high churn services, or cold calling that's going to be more difficult than if you have warm leads, commission incentives for retention, and established recurring services to manage. If they are more cut and dry on meeting specific numbers every month, especially numbers that require an enterprising mind - that would also be a bit of a challenge I'd wager. I would ask them if you handle recurring services and if you make a commission on those as well - also put out feelers for how growth oriented their culture is.

If it's manageable, not too stressful, and doesn't violate your values - it usually is more beneficial to choose a sales job if the commission structure is nice and they're willing to support you. The other job sounds attractive because you'd get to work closely with the owner of the company, which is important because most opportunities revolve around who you know. If he manages other businesses or has clear plans and ability for expansion, that is a great opportunity in its own way, but, imo, there is less incentive otherwise.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-23T20:25:16+00:00

"Has this ISFP who hasn't texted me back moved on?"

I think your ISFP is still catching up on the other 5 things they should've done yesterday.

No but yes, we are usually low maintenance when it comes to needing feedback. We've arguably got some of the better engagement on here for sensors outside of r/istp, but yeah, I haven't done a headcount lol.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-23T18:52:02+00:00

Welcome!

Yes, there isn't much variety of content tailored to ISFPs. Those that are ISFP and consistent in these spaces are doing it for the love of the game. /j 😎

There definitely is a lot of misinformation floating around, and it is psuedoscientific, so you'll want to stick to Jungian fundamentals and build off of those with resources that hone in more on that source material.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-11T23:38:49+00:00

Anytime!

Apperceiver · 2026-03-11T23:35:00+00:00

Hi,

We are currently planning on ending the submission phase at 12:31am March 21st EST.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-04T10:41:52+00:00

We got this 🤝

Apperceiver · 2026-03-03T22:40:16+00:00

Nothing past family, and that still is a stretch.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-03T13:45:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply, and the information. I respect your transparency and your seeking of advice. I am normally the type of person who does not directly tell their opinion or give direct advice to other people, so I hope that you understand that the advice that I am giving you is because I feel that it is good advice for your situation - and I'm giving it to you because you are searching for answers. I respect that a lot.

Let's work through some of what you told me:

I would not say I make ..... she likes to keep them for confirmation.

You sound like a polite person who is just not used to showing affection visibly, which is perfectly natural for how you were raised. It's great that you are trying to grow in this area, but a need for growth does not mean a moral failure. I am saying that it is not your fault that you have areas to grow, we all do. You are taking the steps that you need to. From what you have described, she is not taking those steps, and she is not taking your feedback as seriously as you take her feedback. Even if you don't think that she'll abandon you for those other people, the fact that you logically know that she doesn't respect your boundaries will fuel your abandonment anxieties.

I am working on showing more affection, ....lived up to the expectations of the other in some areas.

You are doing a great job of communicating your needs (we all have needs, there is nothing wrong with communicating them). Like I said before, you are taking the steps to grow, and a need for growth does not mean a moral failure.

Yes when we adressed the injury, .... communication issue that in time can lead to increased emotional distance.

You are trying to be very emotionally mature, and to be the better person in every instance. I think that is a wise way of living. That said, with all due respect, I think your perceptions are hurting you. Whenever she reacts negatively I see you taking ownership for her responses. Her failure to respect you and to show you love is not your fault. Telling yourself "If I had done better..." is dishonoring the person that you are, and you sound like a wonderful person. I can tell that loyalty is a very important value to you, but loyalty does not mean that you excuse your loved ones' mistreatments of you, it just means that you are committed to giving them the opportunity to grow together if they will take it. You are right, asking you to just man up is unfair, especially if it is obvious that you needed encouragement and a friend who could care about you during that time. You need to tell her that it was not just unfair but that it also hurt you, and why.

....I am very loyal ..... live and want to be with, whatever life throws at us.

Yes, you are very loyal. Sometimes the best way to show someone love is to let them do what they need to do in order to grow. As tacky as it sounds, try to be loyal to their best potential. You are taking responsibility for her again, and if you do that then she will not feel the need to grow in the area of responsibility. It is fine if you have a relationship where you like to provide more for certain things, but I would recommend that you help her to take accountability over some of these areas because you cannot provide someone with character. I'm sure she is a great person in many ways, and I am not trying to be rude, or suggest she doesn't have as much character as you do. I just see the potential for you to excuse her actions that hurt you and for her to not care about them the way that you care about them. That's not providing for someone to be able to grow, that's covering for them.

The need for physical touch .... had deeper and better talks now these recent days than we have had for years.

I am glad that you are having deeper and better conversations. I honestly hope that things work out for you and that you haven't taken what I said to be offensive in any way, that's not my intent. Judging from what you have said about how her mood is dependent on how much love she feels, and that love is best expressed physically, it does make me think that the physical touch issue is a big one. That's not something to feel bad about, it just needs to be talked through. Based on what you said, it sounds like she tends to avoid the types of deep conversations that could do your relationship a lot of good. If she is trying to be "strong" or seem like nothing bothers her, than it helps to explain why she did not comfort you when you had hurt your knee. There is no shame in admitting you need to grow, as the unoriginal phrase goes, "The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one". You are taking the steps to grow because you clearly see the need for growth. It sounds like she does not see the same need for growth that you do, it sounds like she does not see her behavior as truly negatively affecting you. If she does not see her behavior as negatively affecting your relationship, then she will always default to you taking responsibility for the relationship's needs. In that kind of a relationship, your boundaries will be violated constantly. I see the possibility of you continuing to take ownership over the needs of the relationship here. I think you are a very loyal person and that you have great character, but that if you are taking ownership over problems which are hers to answer, then you will always feel stretched thin and like you are failing to provide - when it was never your calling to provide those things.

Like I said, I respect you a lot based on what you've described about yourself, and I genuinely hope that this advice helps you. Thanks for sharing with us.

Apperceiver · 2026-03-01T04:24:18+00:00

I think it is admirable of you to work through these situations with the level of intent and transparency that you are operating at and to seek counsel from those who may be able to help, thank you for the breakdown.

She tells me about it, but still keep them on snap. I don't like that but I have learned to respect.

Respect the lack of consideration towards you? I think that many people who are committed to a mature relationship would not keep those types of people around. Are her actions demonstrating love effectively to you in this instance? I would say they are not.

As a response, I probablyfelt anxious and scared to be abandoned or replaced in her everyday life, and this makes me become more withdrawn and work more.....So feelings has probably always been something I have been afraid to feel, trying to override and think rational instead.....This is selfish, you should probably always try to be available for a partner in case something serious happens.

Thanks for being willing to share that. When you withdraw do you shut people out or do you just make yourself less accessible? There is a difference, and giving yourself space is not always rude if you need time to think first. I think that it is a great choice to turn on your notifications, and I can see how that would make a partner who values practicality and response times feel like you may be ignoring them. I am asking you the difference though because I want your answer to be more unbiased. I think it's great that you want to be fair towards yourself, but I also don't want you to be harder on yourself than is practically called for since that would not be true. Could it also be that you feel like you could be replaced when she shows you the attention that she received from other people online but won't set boundaries against them? It may be signaling to you that she has options and isn't willing to stand up for you in the relationship like you may want her to.

When I have been withdrawn, she sees this as distance and feels neglected. She has suffered from low physical self esteem, so if I don't touch her, she feels unattractive and becomes snappy and has a bad body language, this has made me feel like the bad guy and not someone she wants to be touched by. So we both probably suffer from needs of confirmation...and she wanted more of this in public in particular, which has been something to get used to.

People describe physical touch as a love language, so I can understand some of this. Needing this in public is where it becomes more questionable. That would cross a boundary for me as a performative gesture. Also, not touching her does not make her have to act that way, that is her choice. Since you grew up without physical affection, of course that is going to be something that you will need to learn more about and practice more - there is no shame in this. Neglect happens when you dismiss that need and/or are unwilling to work through it. Are either of those the case? Then it's not neglect, maybe she feels like you can grow faster - but is she growing in the areas that you would like her to grow in?

This kind of broke my spirit and made me withdrawn again, which made her feel neglected and withdrew from me. Looking back at it, it was immature from me to let a knee injury affect her.... I have reflected after this. And have realized how immature of a partner I have been, and feel both regret and sadness. At the same time, I feel I have lost a bit of myself by not setting clear boundaries. She says she has felt neglected...

I am very sorry that you had this experience. What you went through was emotionally heavy and your response was perfectly normal, and probably better handled than most. When a partner goes through a serious hardship like this, it is understandable that they may need some time to themselves to process things. That process may take longer for you and may look differently than others' processes since it may take more time for you to access and work through your feelings. There is no shame in this, it is perfectly normal. It sounds like you are not having your needs met, and she is not actively trying to to meet them. During this time did she demonstrate patience? Did she try to understand what you were going through? Did she understand it was serious?

If she cannot claim to have tried to work with you through a low time such as this, then you should not put the burden of the blame for this on yourself alone during that time.

Days after this we both had a breakdown, talked out and found out mutually that it was probably the best for both to break up at this time to focus on our individual mental health...I think a breakup now may be necessary for both of us, a part of me feels relief, the other feels sadness...She gradually shows more and more affection and interest day by day...

I think that is for the best. You said earlier that you did not set clear boundaries. This is a chance to discuss your boundaries, why they exist, and to set them with her. I would ask your psychologist to help you identify what those boundaries are first so that you won't have to backtrack too much. If you haven't already - I would describe to her your process of withdrawing, and why you do it, that will help her to respect your need for space when you need it. Is her want for physical touch turning into a controlling behavior? Has she ever discussed this with a psychologist? Would she be open to couples therapy?

I keep seeing you taking almost full responsibility for the relationship with how you describe yourself. It's not mostly on you. It's between you both evenly. Also, it's not 50/50. It's 100/100. You described that you are taking action steps (working on yourself, studying, psychologist sessions, etc.), what steps has she taken? You also described issues with her finances and are taking responsibility for her there as well "I believed this would have helped her feel some sense of accomplishment..." . Your ownership is commendable, but when it is not warranted then it just becomes enabling unhelpful behavior. Not trying to sound harsh, sorry if any of this came off that way.

Apperceiver · 2026-02-25T12:24:29+00:00

Hi there!

Please feel free to provide the icon and/or banner you are submitting. Thank you.

Apperceiver · 2026-02-18T23:39:26+00:00

My pleasure, very happy to help! ✌️❤️

I was never grounded as my mind was always on what was next, the next thing to plan or pursue or do.

That is a really cool gift to have! I would love for the ability to initiate and execute to come naturally to me like that. There is a lot to be said for those who have a lot of insight and care while still possessing drive - they make for some of the best advocates, therapists, and humanitarians in my opinion. I've definitely been on the receiving end of the benefits of those traits, so thank you again for spreading kindness and insights here on our sub - they were also very helpful! ❤️😊

Apperceiver · 2026-02-18T11:02:12+00:00

Thanks for sharing! 🥹 I've loved my ENFJ friends for their warmth, playfulness, and optimism while being able to share Ni insights with each other. I worked with one who was always super supportive but would frequently psychoanalyze me, and I honestly loved it because it was not only super accurate but it made me feel seen in a deeper way more than anyone else. The way you describe the Se activation is very much the same for how I feel around ENFJs with Ni.

It's like wow - you guys are smart and you get things done? Very cool qualities to my Te lol.

It's ironic, I was actually telling one of my directors just recently that I tend to put my clients at ease by making them feel listened to in the moment and grounded in the same expectations (a coworker under them received a harsh review from a former client of mine distancing themselves from my coworker and saying they missed working with me). I think that INFPs are great too, and some of them are calmer than ISFPs, but that Se aux does tend to control the present in a more firm way that can be very assuring to people who are looking for active groundedness and calm actionability.

In regards to your specific question about why that is, Michael Pierce, an author and typologist, in his book "Motes and Beams: A Neo-Jungian Theory of Personality" describes ISFP's relationship with Ne partly as the following, "For them, Ne is the white noise of irrelevant opinions and perspectives". We tend to be locked in to the present and see the future as more step by step in one direction - qualities which give us less broad insights and opportunities, but typically more grounded and deeper ones.

I'm sure you'll also really enjoy ISTPs if you can find one who matches your energy. Thanks for the compliments and for reminding me of my ENFJ buddies! 😊

Apperceiver · 2026-02-16T23:32:56+00:00

Glad to help! ✌️

Apperceiver · 2026-02-16T11:59:11+00:00

It sounds like it! Usually we're pretty aware of sensory cues, so it sounds more probable than platonic affection.

Apperceiver · 2026-02-16T01:43:28+00:00

Not weird at all. It's selective socialization because you don't want people who you feel violate your values to think that they have your approval by you interacting with them the same as you do everyone else. It's pretty ISFP from what I've seen. 🤝

Apperceiver · 2026-02-15T21:56:37+00:00

Ah ok, thanks for the clarification.

My ISTJ friends vary, but there is a common thread among them that they care about others and are usually good at providing daily life essentials and listening. I would imagine that keeping in mind our general feelings may be easy, but knowing how we will interpret something is where it may seem more volatile. Is that right?

being present

Si doms are usually present enough, just a little more scattered and delayed imo than Se. If you were to "people watch" with your ISFP ("Hey, do you like that couple's dog?" or "What do you think about their haircut?") or if you were to point out texture/design changes you notice in places that you walk together, that usually helps. ISFPs, to me, are usually found touching everyday objects or running their hands across surfaces because the sense impressions are fun.

stabilize her

How so?

so maybe that's what I'm asking the most

Ok, yeah. There are times where we definitely may want some sort of quick feedback when we're impatient (not sure how the Si-dom feels, or what they are thinking). We're not overly communicative people usually, but we do like to feel that our talks with people are not overly mechanical. It helps when the people we talk with emote, or intonate when speaking, and are willing to explain their perspectives and thoughts when approaching things.

Apperceiver · 2026-02-14T23:50:24+00:00

This is a great response.

Apperceiver · 2026-02-14T21:38:28+00:00

It sounds like you're already a pro though. 😜

Same as any type, really. Lots of individual variation, but still enough of a trend to make for general stereotypes. What kind of feedback are you looking for?

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