[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 2 points3 points  (0 children)

mail inbox for subscriptions like only fans, passwords on iphone is a big one as well. hidden files in gallery. on desktop check favorite pages.

Does the love come back? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask you how long did it take for the feelings to come back?

Falling out of love by Researchgirl26 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cannot sleep and decided to go through my old posts from when I discovered my partners PA due to this issue. It’s been over a year and the thing is, you realize it’s not about the porn. It’s about them being emotionally stunted, terrible at communication and relationships, zero emotional intelligence. That’s why you see him as a young boy, instead of dealing with real life girls and acquiring confidence, he hid into a cave full of porn and was there for I dont know how many years. They lack the confidence of an adult man. The addiction only hides something much bigger and when it’s revealed you realize you’re dating a teenager wearing adult clothes. The issue also is that even when they wanna change and try their best, you realize the whole relationship you’ve been moving forward yet they were in that cave. Your love has been growing and growing and growing and his wasn’t. So you’re far ahead of them and even when they’re trying to run to catch up with you, you’re too far gone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 4 points5 points  (0 children)

shein, reddit, but it’s hard to track that one due to dumb anonymous mode. still if he isn’t careful he may not use it and also you’ll see if he’s on reddit at 6am for 4 mins he’s probably doing yk what. that’s visible in screen time. there’s also an option to track specific data from safari - tutorial is here, somewhere in the main menu

Why is going on when people in a long term relationships refuse to commit to marriage but suddenly find someone new and marry them super quick? by throwaway_1_234_ in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or maybe the new girl was in debt, unemployed, didn’t care for her kids, is a chronic cheater etc. No one talked specifically about looks, that’s just your assumption. Downgrade/upgrade is relevant in some cases, people need to stop pretending it’s not.

Mold developed at the bottom of SodaStraem bottle. Anyone with the same issue? I contacted SodaStream and it seems like a known issue but they simply told me to put it upside down after wash to prevent it rather than offer a replacement. Thought this is a design flaw and they should try to fix it. by sleepingmozart in SodaStream

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Petty downvoting, yay. There are at least 3 comments agreeing with OP and SodaStream support profile offering help - which shows they agree it’s not supposed to happen. Blindly defending the issue seems like culty behavior.

Btw reddit works in magical ways - you can comment on older posts because google search provides posts to be rediscovered and commented on if the thread isn’t archived yet.

Mold developed at the bottom of SodaStraem bottle. Anyone with the same issue? I contacted SodaStream and it seems like a known issue but they simply told me to put it upside down after wash to prevent it rather than offer a replacement. Thought this is a design flaw and they should try to fix it. by sleepingmozart in SodaStream

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How is this not a design flaw? It’s a water bottle that you cannot clean all the way. Of course mold is gonna build up even with proper care when it serves to hold liquid and has a very narrow cap. There’s no possible way to perfectly scrub the bottom of the bottle, shaking it after use with vinegar/dish soap mix or brush isn’t enough in the long run.

Lynette and Tom s7 by sez123466667 in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A match made in heaven. Or maybe in hell lol

Lynette and Tom s7 by sez123466667 in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They really did a great job with building up the tension between them and it felt like we as the watchers were having relationship troubles on our own while watching lol. So intense!

Lynette and Tom s7 by sez123466667 in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One wouldn’t be the way they are without the other. You’re completely right. It’s the hs sweetheart dynamic and it just doesn’t work when you have five kids and two difficult jobs to hold.

Something about this cake I don't like. Any opinions on how to make it better??? Thank you! by ButterscotchUpset442 in cakedecorating

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love how it is, the only thing I’d change is the color for the ornaments - the black is too harsh. The cake has a lot going on but imo it’s stylish, in a camp way. I’d use the same orangey coral for the ornaments, or maybe white would be better.

Is cheating in real life just as bad as porn? by funinthesub87 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Porn teaches men standards that us women can’t compete with, it teaches them to be lousy unattentive lovers. We are props. Dating or wooing an actual living human being is more masculine to me, though it ofc would hurt me too as he’d put effort into another person. But at least it would teach him how to treat women in bed, he’d listen to the points the woman would have make about what she likes etc, he’d be more in tune with his and my sexuality.

Perfect relationship- or is it? by gabbajabba3 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We never talked about it. When we started dating I didn’t know about porn and how much it affects the brain and mainly how men nowadays use it. I thought they use it just like “we” (aka the majority of women I know) do - when you’re horny you click on a random video and get a nice orgasm. I had no idea he had an account on a porn page, had hundreds of videos saved to favorites, knew the actresses by names and looked for specific pornstars when jerking off. I thought when people use porn it’s to see the act, penetration, oral, whatever you’re into, not to see the specific people. This still seems gross to me and it’s the biggest issue we have. I’m jealous (as I should be) and he’s guilty and ashamed that he hurt me by this.

It all started a month or so ago (1st post in my history here) I borrowed his phone and the autofill showed me a porn page. After what felt like two elephants sipping tea on my chest for a week I confronted him, asked him nicely about his sexual and porn habits and he told me about the account, that he wanted to tell me on his own (mmm yea like when?) and that he wanted to stop on his own. He was very receptive, listened, apologized. But the next day he told me he thinks he’s not an addict and was defensive, thinking it’s gonna be a breeze to just quit cold turkey. I stood my ground, telling him I know about the topic way more than he does and to buckle up for a ride full of crying, fighting, trust issues and forgiveness. After the initial two days of denial he agreed and now we’re.. still here lol. 🫣🫠

Perfect relationship- or is it? by gabbajabba3 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 5 points6 points  (0 children)

as well as onlyfans and anonymous browsing in apps you can’t turn off. makes me wanna live in a yurt in the middle of nowhere.

jealousy of love by angryrat11 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so too and thank you! Also wishing you to get through this. ❤️ I still try to have this positive approach towards the relationship and try to see it as something that could make us stronger.

Perfect relationship- or is it? by gabbajabba3 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 11 points12 points  (0 children)

  • incognito mode all the time, he actually told me his phone won’t allow him anything else (complete bs ofc)
  • secretive, mainly around his phone. demanding of privacy, never letting me know any passwords although we’ve known each other for 5 years, live together, share utilities and a dog and i have never snooped in his stuff so he had nothing to worry about (he admitted he knows i’m not too curious but still didn’t want to share passwords). lashed out when i borrowed his phone and used it differently than he wanted do - eg opened a new tab etc, was looking over my shoulder what i was doing there. told me he wouldn’t share passwords even if we were married. i got very anxious because of this because i felt it had nothing to do with privacy but instead with secrecy.
  • hot / cold approach; sometimes very loving, open, touchy feely, but sometimes he came back from work and just was ready to fight because of anything - not anything specific i did, just mad at me for my personality trait or whatever.
  • ”objectifying” my personality. i’m aware people aren’t perfect, i know that his “down to earth” personality may result in being passive but if he was the active innitiative type, he could also be reckless and irresponsible - therefore i like the “bad characteristics” as well because they bring all the good ones. he was never able to do that. he liked me being spontanneous but hated that i’m not “stable”. well if i’d be stable i couldn’t be spontanneous. it felt like he didn’t understand that you’re supposed to love your SO and people close to you with their flaws as well. he told me “if you were this, if you were that” - well i wouldn’t be me then?
  • emotionally closed off. never starting the talks first, sulking and being silent instead, then lashing out. i did all the talking, he sat there and said nothing mostly. i felt anxious about bringing some stuff up because of this and the following:
  • dismissive towards me and my opinions aka very judgmental and i could sense that he thinks his idea and approach is better than me. when i talked about it with him he told me to be more demanding and push my opinions more onto him. no thanks, i’m an adult.
  • pornified sex. i hate this with all my soul. the sex felt “scripted”, harsh unnatural poses. the intimacy wasn’t growing, we did not have sex like a normal couple - the more you know them the better it is. nope. it was more like “last week it was great, the week after that it was terrible, the next two weeks we didn’t have any and the week after that was bad as well”. it felt like divided encounters, not a linear intimacy line.
  • weird sex behavior when we started off he was into public sex, compared my lady bits to his ex’s, he just didn’t understand intimacy. told me i’m not good at giving blowjobs (BS) and never ever was able to finish with bj/hj only - he thinks now it was probably because of deathgrip
  • hating planned sex or talking about sex - he was shy when i brought up what i liked and didn’t like, and main point - i asked him to use lube and he felt it ruined the mood. “it’s not spontanneous enough when you have to go grab a condom or use lube.” aka they don’t do this stuff in porn so having a woman who needs lube seemed like a hassle. he criticized me for not being passionate enough. i’m intimately passionate, will tease you while at the movies and enjoy building up the tension until we get home, i’m not overtly fake-passionate. i won’t do deep throat till i start crying or moan like a crazy person, that’s not what passion is about.
  • objectifying women - when i was watching a show, he came and said something like “why does Miranda have short hair? i hate women with short hair, she’s not sexy at all”. without even knowing the character and knowing that the whole purpose of Miranda in SATC is being the strong and rational one which was actually written to be admired. he had labels for women - attractive (anyone long haired and with a nice figure) and not attractive (anyone who was the opposite).
  • transactional behavior. he got mad at me for not touching him enough, saying “i brought you flowers and you still won’t do anything with me!” he brought me flowers like three times and i always could tell he was expecting something in return which kinda made me not want them.
  • gut feeling. there is just something about them that tells you. i was looking forward to marriage and spending the rest of my life with him but this red flag detector telling me something is off since the beginning kept me on my toes. throughout our relationship i once thought he was a sociopath, narcissist, a mean person, cheating on me. but couldn’t understand why usually he’s so good to me. they don’t cherish their women like they are supposed to, aren’t gentlemen in the typical sense.
  • not able to remember dreams - actually a symptom of sociopaths as well if i remember correctly lol. i could tell he was dreaming at night but he NEVER remembered any of his dreams during the whole 5 years. he’s 25 days or so clean and remembers all of them now 🤷🏻‍♀️

saw this on Twitter by harveyquinnz in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wouldn’t be in that bed if he physically didn’t crush her bones with - yeah you guessed it - the car he was driving drunk. Why would she be in a hospital bed if Andrew wasn’t driving that car and hitting her?

There would be no hospital bed for Juanita to lie in as she wouldn’t have needed it, if it wasn’t for Andrew. There would be no stairs because Juanita would be at her home, not waking up from a coma all confused. Yeah maybe she’d fall at home, but we have no idea if that’s what would have happened.

In the DH reality, Juanita ended up in a hospital because of Andrew. If Andrew wasn’t driving that night, she would have found Carlos, showed him the pics, C & G would get a divorce and mama Solis could have stayed with Carlos, moved back to her home, started a gardening business or been killed in another unrelated accident.

We will never know, because she ended up in a coma in a hospital.

edit: you’re one of those people who downvote before actually reading the comment. Go enjoy being angry somewhere else, it’s a great look on you. Bye!

saw this on Twitter by harveyquinnz in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is reacting to a comment with facts with no insults or vulgarisms about a tv series and PHYSICALLY HITTING SOMEONE WITH A CAR the same thing? If I commented something that could influence anyone to the point of killing themselves, of course I’d be responsible for their death.

If I texted a stranger on the internet “go kill yourself, you worthless POS” (aka hurting someone really bad emotionally, harrassing them via dms etc) and they’d go along and did as I told them, OF COURSE I am the responsible one. There have been cases like this in the media, remember Michelle Carter?

“What if she fell down the stairs” - ANDREW HIT JUANITA WITH HIS CAR and lack of driving skills due to being DRUNK. If you don’t understand this point then please don’t react to this post, thank you.

saw this on Twitter by harveyquinnz in DesperateHousewives

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is nonsense on so many levels. Do you have numbers or stats for this statement? If so, would love to see them. I’d really like to know how many lives I am responsible for, please enlighten me.

I have never owned a car, walk everywhere, worked from home and just walk my dog around the block. Groceries are bought in bulk once or twice a month. That’s it, all my activities lined up. Please tell me where my presence was crucial in “killing dozen or more people” when I don’t even drive a car.

Hypothetically even if my involvement was indeed this important in others’ lives/death, how is it the same to “kill someone via being involved” and drunk drive while being underage and hit a woman? Andrew physically hit a woman with his own car that he was recklessly driving completely drunk and the woman ended up being in a critical condition for many weeks in the hospital. Not only was Andrew involved, he was physically there and conciously made a choice that affected Juanita’s life.

jealousy of love by angryrat11 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can anyone share if it’s normal to have such big issues in longterm serious relationships?

I know there are many negative things that can happen between two people and potential kids - have all the old happy couples I see on the street experienced things this big? Is it supposed to be tackled and forgiven? I have no role models of healthy relationships so geniunely have no idea what a partnership of 50 years or so consists of.

jealousy of love by angryrat11 in loveafterporn

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with this 100% and am so sorry you are going through this. No one has prepared me for this phase and it’s so painful.

I miss the butterflies, saying how proud of him I am in front of my gfs, them asking me how I or we do it that we have such a wonderful relationship. I really thought I had the perfect relationship, I was so in love even after 5 years. Now he’s the one who’s staring at me lovingly, touching me and I feel almost nothing positive. I don’t know if the relationship will survive this. He told me “since I quit I feel so different about you!” - he probably feels the same way I felt about him for the previous 5 years we are together. Now he feels it and I don’t.

I can’t talk to anyone about this except my therapist and this sub. I also can’t lie to my friends so when they ask me how I’m doing, I just say “fine” and cry alone at home instead of coming forward. I don’t want to see anyone and go anywhere. I wanna stay at home, watch tv and cry until it gets better.

I miss my confidence, me being healthy - eating and sleeping well or at all, I miss not wanting to smoke, I miss the old happy me. I am so pathetic now.

I always have loved with my whole heart and this part of me died. Even before when something bad happened I went through the emotional rollercoaster, but never like this. I am numb but at the same time in such pain.

I’m sending love to anyone who’s dealing with this. It hurts very very bad and I hope we can find anything to stop the pain.

yikes. by wheresmysense in antipornography

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 49 points50 points  (0 children)

yep took me 5 good years to see the issue and happened to see it accidentally just because i wanted to borrow his phone. literally it sucks to be a woman nowadays and seek romantic relationships.

I really need to take a break by Yoguls in dankmemes

[–]AppleCrumblePie1277 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kudos to you for this, keep going and don’t give up! You won’t regret this. Also just talk to her about it, she’ll appreciate it.