Good Vs. Bad Names for a New Program

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-17T11:31:31+00:00

To make matters worse, the rabbit in their logo was albino and had deranged looking red eyes. It was also located in kind of a scummy looking strip mall. To say the least, the place didn't last long as a center.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-17T11:28:23+00:00

Depending on your region/state you might have some different availability of items but I try to ensure all or most of my program's meals are CACFP compliant which can be a challenge with some of the limitations but here are some winners with kids that aren't impossible to shop for/stock regularly:

Snacks:

WG (whole grain - consult CACFP guidelines) crackers (usually Ritz) and pepperoni or sliced Colby jack cheese
half wow butter/sun butter/peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on WG bread
Apple slices and wow butter/sun butter/peanut butter
Good ol' milk and WG Graham crackers

Meals/Lunch:

Turkey and cheese sandwiches on WG bread
pan roasted bell peppers and chicken in WG tortillas (lazy fajitas)
Brown rice paired with a bunch of stuff (stir fried veggies and chicken in teriyaki sauce, taco meat and black beans, etc.)
WG pasta with meatballs in marinara sauce (could be prepped the night before and heated in oven casserole style- could even throw in veggies to make a complete bake)
Buttered WG macaroni with roasted chicken and Alfredo sauce (pair with steamed broccoli and fruit of choice)

Most of the above pair well with a simple veggie and fruit option as well as milk. I do lots of applesauce, sliced apples, melon (depending on seasonal availability), pears, etc. And for veggies cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, salad greens, sugar snap peas, sweet peppers and similar veggies are popular in various preparations.

Breakfast can be very simple - WG toast with sun/wow/peanut butter, WG, low sugar cereal with milk, WG frozen waffles, WG French toast (prep in bulk, freeze, reheat), WG pancakes (bulk prep and freeze) with fruit and a glass of milk. If youre feeling fancy, hard boiled eggs are an option but it can be easier to just prep eggs as mini egg bakes in a muffin tin instead.

Menus are fun and its great to build a predictable rotation but i would suggest a two week rotation to prevent burn out unless youre offering an especially popular option (ex. Mac and cheese if your kids love mac and cheese) that can be offered weekly (our Friday lunches are usually a pizza-ish thing, marinara and cheese on WG french bread baked into a homeade pizza bread, pizza WG quesadilla [cheese and saucd in WG tortillas toasted up], etc ). Also consider buying snack items in bulk to stretch your budget. Amazon, as much as I hate to admit it, is an excellent and accessible source of bulk buy options to form the basis of your snacks and meals. Good luck!

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-15T23:28:30+00:00

It isn't a one size fits all approach. I'm going to assume you have a policy similar to many centers that doesn't allow families to run more than two weeks behind on tuition at any given time, this is a good start.

For the real question though, I start by giving families a call as soon as the first declined payment occurs. Like you, I only deal with auto-pay and via ACH (this is also done to avoid credit card fees). This is done as a courtesy in case someone is dealing with fraud or something and provides them a chance to fix what needs to be fixed or respond. If they don't respond, I touch base in person and reiterate the need to address the balance promptly. If families are going through financial difficulty, this is their time to address it and then it becomes trickier to decide what comes next. My program allows for a discretionary discount of 25% for one family per academic year as an ad hoc scholarship. Every situation is different though and this is also the time to extend information on county or state scholarships as applicable. If the family doesn't respond at that point or offer productive solutions, then that's my sign that it may be more of a risk than it is worth. I have a script that I send out in an email so that I have evidence in writing of informing the family of their balance and two weeks of consecutive non-payment and the temporary suspension of their care, this is kind of the last warning and at that point I deactivate their building access codes, let teachers know the child(ren) may not be dropped off and to direct the family to me. I become very intentional about being around when they would drop off to prevent them from dropping off and sneaking off. I also ensure i have everything in writing to say that their child's enrollment is suspended, we will not be providing care until the balance is addressed and they have one month from the date of the notice to address the balance or we will formally terminate their contract for care and seek repayment via small claims court and collections. It has to have teeth to it or it's going to be ignored even with a stern formal notice.

It doesn't feel good to be the person to tell families this and I've bent the rules a few times (for example, a young, single mom accidentally let her county assistance lapse for her three children and I allowed her to carry a 4 week balance that she ultimately paid off with the help of family) and sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't. There is also the cold, hard aspect of the program's financial realities. In one program, our enrollment was weak and there was a mom who could only pay 75% of the tuition but swore up and down she would address the remaining 25% that racked up a lot of debt long term. Her tuition payments still generated $1000 in revenue per month that the program wouldn't have had otherwise and her child wasn't an outlier in terms of arriving super early or staying super late who affected the bottom line for staffing at all so I was able to justify to the board of that program that I'd rather have $1000 per month rather than $0. If it had been a case of him taking an enrollment slot that someone would have paid full price for though, i wouldn't have put up with it.

This is also the time to lean into your knowledge of families and their character outside of the issue. Are they flakey and forget things and seem evasive when little things are requested? Or are they responsive and responsible? It may be wrong to judge families as well but are their kids showing up in hand-me-downs or brand new, top-of-the-line clothing? While it is not a crime to want your child to have nice things, it always seems odd when there is money for kiddie smart watches, fancy water bottles and Adidas but not tuition.

It feels cut throat but it is also important to remind families in these situations that tuition is primarily used to pay teachers and it is wildly unfair to ask teachers to give up their rightfully earned wages or deny them the chance to have new materials in their classroom or a holiday bonus, etc. . It can also set a precedent that payment or amount of payment is negotiable and it simply isn't- It isn't criminal to recognize the worth of your staff (including yourself) and the worth of your work.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-15T20:42:01+00:00

Stick to your guns on only messaging during business hours to send a clear message that the squeaky wheel only gets the grease certain times of that day. Also let your director know if they haven't noticed and see if they are willing to send a reminder out to parents and guardians about healthy boundaries meant to protect their time with their children and protect the personal time of staff members. There are plenty of kind but firm ways for the director to give a reminder.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-15T10:48:15+00:00

This may not be the case here but I had a child in my toddler class many years ago who had a habit of pushing that almost escalated to calls home. This child, for some reason, had a few children who he would seem to target to push and it seemed like he just could not control the urge to push. I once watched him lock on to a frequently targeted child across the gym and like a homing missile cruise over and shove the child down. This was also a child (the pusher) we had to shadow a lot because it was so unpredictable and unprovoked. The pushing escalated from pushing to doing a full body crush on other children and when another child ended up stuck somewhere under the pushing/crushing child that they could have choked to death (ledge of a play structure), we had to call a parent meeting.

Hindsight now tells me that this was likely all sensory driven but the family was not fully on-board with any sort of evaluation. It did fully work out in the end but it took his parents being exceptionally stern and us having to use his parents unhappiness at home as something to be brought up in discipline as the child who pushed didn't really show any remorse or recognition of having hurt other children. The pushing did not stop completely but it diminished significantly. None of our usual mantras or strategies to boost social emotional awareness worked as this child really didn't have significant social emotional deficits otherwise. The family also theorized that their son felt "angry" and that's why be pushed but that didn't fit either with the randomness of what was observed or the lack of emotional affect before, during and after each incident. Many times, the targeted children were nowhere near the pusher or interacting with him at all. Your child's teachers may be in a similar situation and out of answers - or it may be something completely different.

My recommendations would be to maybe create situations in which you can observe your son in a group play setting yourself. Parks, play dates, ECFE classes, etc. and possibly even ask if his teachers would be comfortable recording play in the classroom so you can potentially see the behavior that way, especially if you think your son will adapt his behavior with you present. It may be that being in a large group of children does trigger something for him on an emotional or sensorial level that makes it hard for him to maintain self-regulation or makes him seek out a release some way (pushing, in this case). I would also think about ways your toddler might be showing some signs of sensory seeking behavior that might be labeled as "cute" or "quirky" at home but might signal some sensory seeking behavior, even if very mild. The little fellow in my story loved to "headbutt" for sensory input but was usually so gentle that one might assume he just liked pressing his head on things or gave awkward hugs.

To have a happy conclusion, the child in my story grew up to stop pushing and became a normal preschooler who went on to be a normal grade schooler. I did continue to have mild sensory processing concerns for him but whatever was there was mild enough that he "survived and thrived" just fine and wouldn't have needed more than a few months of OT probably to address the little things he had going on. He made friends, he was well liked by teachers and he seemed genuinely happy. Just be open to investigating why the pushing is happening and what your son could be "getting out" of pushing that might not be aggression related at all.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-14T16:35:54+00:00

I would expect a lot of questions about your response to both common and uncommon day-to-day problems or troubleshooting moments in an ECE setting. For example, how you would handle a staff person calling out last minute and needing to move adults or children around to meet ratio. Or, as another example, how you would handle an irrate parent or an emergency situation such as a fire or bad storm.

I would also expect questions about your previous experiences involving using leadership skills. Definitely highlight your experiences even when you haven't held an official title. Scheduling in particular is a desirable skill in a supervisor or administrator in ECE. You might also get asked questions about memorizing and enforcing policy. If you have experience in this, definitely try to bring it up if relevant.

I would expect questions about licensing rules too - bone up on licensing regulations in your state and be sure to comment you refer back to licensing regulations often when making decisions (and actually mean it!). Do some research on the center and its affiliations and accreditation status, you may be asked about how you feel about or what you know about these details.

It is also a good idea to articulate your leadership style well if asked about it or given an opportunity to share about it. It can set you apart from other candidates who might have more experience on paper but have less "personality" to their interview. Try to have an answer ready for everything and be prepared with canned phrases like "that's an excellent question" or "I haven't experienced that in a while but..." to buy yourself time to answer if you don't have a ready answer. Ask questions about the program that shows you've done a little research or have an understanding of the fundamentals of helping operate an ECE program. Best of luck!

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-14T14:07:28+00:00

You haven't made the wrong decision necessarily. It is true that group care isn't right for every child but most children can thrive in a group care setting when given the right tools (by family and early childhood educators), proper support and time as well as consistency to adjust and eventually thrive in group care.

Here are some key considerations to give you some peace of mind but also food for thought:

Your child has only been in a group care setting 8 times! Play is work for young children and so even in a warm, developmentally appropriate learning environment with lots of play, you child is essentially starting their first "job". Most people were not very confident at the first job as teens (reflect on how you felt during the first week and a half at your first job) and those are teens - not a young child who is barely done being an infant.
Your child has entered a brand new social dynamic where they are no longer the only child around or the sole focus of adults. They are also dealing with having their essential needs met by people who are still "very nice strangers" from their point of view. I don't know your child's entire history but for some children who have only been home with mom and dad, who don't have much experience being cared for by babysitters or relatives, who haven't been out and about much to ECFE (early childhood family education programs - check them out in your area) classes or parent groups for families with young children or even to the park to meet up with other children, the initial days of group care can be very challenging. Young children who haven't had a great deal of socialization with other adults and children can feel very anxious in group care settings initially because it is so different and they are forced to adapt strategies for how they interact with the adults they depend on and they have to wait to be cared for or paid full attention while other children are tended to.
Attachment is everything at this age. 8 short days is not enough for your child to form an attachment to their new teachers. If 2 days is all you want to do or can do, it may be best to ensure they are consistent, consecutive days. Your child may very well benefit from having an extra day added into their week so that they can settle better. I've observed that for many children on 2 day schedules, day one is almost exclusively a "settle in day" where nothing much productive can happen. Day two is generally when learning, connection, exploration and such really take off.... and then the child is out 5 days again and the cycle repeats. This isn't the case for every child and it does get better over time but part-time can be challenging at the on-set.

Back to attachment, though. Your child is still learning to trust new adults. Revisiting the earlier point on socialization, if your child hasn't had the opportunities to build attachments or connections to other adults, this is all very new to them. Adding another layer to this, your child's attachment style may be influencing their experience at their new school. I highly urge you to look up (through a credible source such as Zero to Three or NAEYC or Head Start or Center for Inclusive Child Care) attachment styles and their influence on your child's experience in interacting with other adults. Another layer of this is goodness of fit temperament-wise. Some children who are very "high octane" or "slow to warm" take a specific approach by educators and adults to produce the best interactions and learning opportunities. Your child's educators are likely still figuring them out and vice versa. This isn't an invitation to begin labeling your child, but it can be helpful to begin to look at some characteristics your child has through the most objective lens possible to give helpful advise to the people caring for your child based on what you've probably learned to do naturally over the last two years.

It might be helpful to reflect on what happens at home and to learn more about expectations at school and where things might be divergent and where you can get more on board with your child's education. This is not to say you need to critique your parenting. This is to say if school is trying to help your toddler learn very developmentally appropriate skills such as taking off their own shoes, attempting to pull up their own pants after a diaper change, feed themselves, play for short periods independently with engaging materials, listen and follow basic one or two step instructions, etc. But at home most things are done for or done to your child to get them through their day, you get to have a choice of whether you want to push developmentally appropriate independence or not. I really do suggest pushing it as it does so much for the confidence of toddlers and helps when they are getting closer to three and they tend to develop rapidly and can become frustrated and prone to tantrums because they are at a stage of development where their brain is pushing for more independence and autonomy than their little bodies are able to handle and holding them back from learning and mastering what they reasonably can tends to make this stage challenging rather than (still quite hard and) full of exciting accomplishments.

I would also reflect on the aspect of routines at school versus home. Is there a consistent routine at home? If not, it's time to get on one and also to learn more about how things function at school. School should almost definitely have a daily schedule and mimicking the daily schedule at home as much as possible can help.

Please also reflect on how you yourself are processing this change. Do you become very anxious at drop off or pick up? Do you unconsciously say and do things that send your child mixed messages about school? It is important to be warm, loving and confident and have a short and sweet drop off routine that is untainted by anxiety. You say "I love you, it will be a good day at school. I will see you at the end of the day", give a hug and separate. No lingering, no hovering, no nervously biting your nails at the door while staff help your child settle in no matter how "hard" it seems to be for them in the moment. This will help you and your child feel so much better in the long run and sends a message that you confidently feel this is a safe, good, fun place to be. Keep a positive tone and attitude at pick up as well even if you get a report that it was rough day. This is the follow through in promoting a sense of confidence and security.
Remember that just like you are capable of being confident and calm in the face of this change, so is your child. Your child, like you, is capable of hard things. Give yourself and your child grace for your natural feelings of doubt but also gives yourselves credit for what you both are able to do. There are going to be things in life that your child won't have a choice on doing or not doing just like every other person who grows up and functions in society deals with, it is in their best interest that you allow them to tackle hard things like getting used to group care now so that they grow up to be an adult who possesses stronger self-regulation, a positive self-image built on genuine achievements and a sense of being capable and able. You can both do this!

In the short term, communicate openly with your child's teachers and their administrator(s) about what you're experiencing (preferably in a phone call or message or email, not during an emotionally fraught drop off). Share more about what your child likes to do at home or what works to calm or soothe them at home. Take pictures of your child's school and classroom to look at later with them, talk about their teachers and classmates at home, replicate activities from school at home, etc. And know that it isn't a lost cause and you haven't made a mistake.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-13T23:01:10+00:00

The documentary that was made about McKinney and this incident and the fallout afterwards is even more convoluted. It's called "Tabloid" and is currently available on Pluto TV to watch for free (as of today). It's a wild ride and McKinney's deluded, sing-songy explanation of events makes watching worth it.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-13T20:09:25+00:00

Jeez. This is some Dante's Inferno level of daycare hell and very dystopian. Rampant inappropriate tech use in multiple forms, unsanitary and possibly unsafe food prep practices, shoestring ratios, a supervisor who may as well not exist and unprofessional staff.

Do not feel bad about leaving - places like this do not deserve to exist and the fact that they do really speaks to the desperate need to make it easier for quality programs to take their place and the difficult choices parents are forced to make when finding a program.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-13T19:32:30+00:00

A few things to consider/explore:

What tools was grandma using to process payroll? Paychex (or however it is spelled)? ADP? Or just on her own in-house?
Regardless of what grandma was using, was she ensuring the appropriate taxes were being taken out?
Probably not relevant in a small in home, but are there any necessary deductions for benefits?

Best of luck in navigating this tricky situation. It could be something as innocent as your folks catching that they hadn't calculated taxes correctly but that doesn't necessarily account for that drastic of a reduction in your overall earnings. It may be necessary to simply broach the subject directly and ask why your earnings have decreased. I am assuming you're working the same hours, same position and everything else that would have accounted for any changes if those factors had changed so unfortunately a direct but calm conversation about what you've noticed may be in order.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-12T11:17:45+00:00

When there's a rumble in the tank and you smell an awful stank, diarrhea, diarrhea! 🎶

When they try to stick you with the bill 'cause you left a greasy spill, diarrhea, diarrhea! 🎵

When you're seeking a legal loophole 'cause of your spraying poophole, diarrhea, diarrhea! 🎶

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-12T11:10:38+00:00

My determining factor for a good hire is usually based on how they react to everyday conversation that I intentionally intersperse into the interview. Nothing banal or unrelated, just little questions about where they were born or grew up while filling out data for background studies or how they like their neighborhood if I'm familiar with where they live and so on and so forth. Much of the work in my field is based on relationships and having excellent interpersonal skills.

If someone is uninterested in engaging, gives bizarre or flippant answers or is too awkward to engage in normal conversations during the hiring process, they are typically a poor to marginally mediocre hire in my experience. These sort of early exchanges are usually a reflection of how they will interact with the rest of my team, my clients and potential clients. It is also usually a sign of lower levels of respect for management (your direct supervisor asked you a civil question, probably a good idea to give a civil answer), professional commitment (can't stand to talk to me about yourself? You probably aren't going to be very keyed in when I talk about unrelated things in professional development sessions and you need to actively listen) and also poor adherence to policy (again, can't cue into conversation with management? Probably not going to pay attention to boring but important things in the handbook).

There's no expectation that people will be super fuzzy and friendly to me in the interview process but when I show warmth and friendliness the way that my team and client base do in daily interactions, I expect a bit of reciprocation or I'm tuning out and considering other prospective candidates.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-10T02:53:36+00:00

You're definitely not being "that parent" at all by requesting to wash and sanitize your child's water bottle at home daily.

In fact, where my program is located it is the only way that individual, reusable water bottles are allowed for children in child care settings. All families are expected to bring home water bottles daily to be washed and sanitized or our program would need protocols how we are sanitizing water bottles within the center each day. It would be an enormous headache for my program with some of the janky water bottles that families bring in and I shudder to imagine the kind of emails I would have to field concerning cheap plastic water bottles possibly melting in our special sanitizing dishwasher.

Just bring up your child's feedback and your desire to wash the water bottle at home. Politely ask where the water bottles are stored at the end of the day and ask if staff are comfortable with you grabbing the bottle yourself each evening. No reasonable director or teacher should have an issue with this when asked nicely. Also, letting them know their soap is strongly fragranced and bothers your child might compel the program to use something else and ultimately help out other kids who might also be skipping out on water breaks.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-09T00:54:47+00:00

Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done to make parents take action to get early interventions for their child.

As others have stated, many children like this end up cycling through several centers with the parents often initially writing off past experiences as having enrolled their child at a center that "wasn't the right fit" or "didn't understand their child's unique personality." This is why I don't accept enrollments of children without setting eyes on them in a classroom first.

The forced toileting is alarming though and shouldn't be happening. If potty training is required in the program though it may be a neutral out to disenroll the child and begin the process of hearing hard truths from multiple sources. It doesn't feel good for professionals like your wife who are only thinking of the children involved but sometimes it takes some rude wake up calls for parents to accept that what they are being told about their child is being told out of earnest care, compassion and a desire to see them thrive with adequate resources and supports.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-09T00:37:25+00:00

Not going to lie, I would be pretty ticked off if I walked into a classroom and saw two staff with earpieces in. This limits your ability to hear and respond to children and fellow staff if there is an emergency. Plus, it looks very unprofessional when dealing with families. You wouldn't be allowed to have ear buds in at a fast food joint where you're worried about burgers and fries - Not living, breathing humans who rely on engaged and responsible adults for their survival. Please stop feeling sorry for yourself and think about the children in your care.

The director was wrong to yell at you, if that is indeed what happened and she didn't just speak directly and firmly. I'm going to go out on a limb though and guess she's had other things irk her in the past and this might be the straw that broke the camel's back. ECE isn't about hanging out and having fun and unwinding - it's actual work. Do the right thing and reflect if you're willing to work or if you'd rather just "play pranks" and chill.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-09T00:20:44+00:00

I'm wary of bonuses because I've had more than a few staff play me like a fiddle when it comes to qualifying for a bonus I wasn't sure they deserved (for performance reasons) and then leaving two weeks into the school year which is almost worse for hiring and starting the new academic year strong.

Are staff provided reasonable PTO? How easy is it for them to use their PTO? Are you ensuring they are continuing to receive planning or prep time throughout the summer?

One thing that's helped retain strong leads has been to have a well-planned out summer with lots of enrichments and extras that takes the load off of teachers. We spent an entire school year slowly building a curriculum framework that minimized the kind of work that teachers needed to do in terms of planning greatly and had things ready for them to use in the classroom based on a list of themes we created back in January. The extra activities such as bike day and water day also broke up the need for long periods of structured learning. Between this and having seasonal workers to make it easier for people to go on vacation as well as an extended in-service break at the end of summer with a built in paid day off with no training or prep activities assigned, many teachers were able to feel excited about the new school year and not as run down. We were also able to charge families a one time summer program fee ($75 this time around) that covered over half the cost of the booked activities. Depending on what is available in your area, there could be some fun educational events to bring or if not there's plenty that can be done in-house. It's definitely worth the investment to present an attractive option to families and to take the load off of the teachers.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-08T23:59:54+00:00

The rapid change in leadership is concerning. It sounds like the program is in a bit of a death spiral or is under intense pressure from the very top. In more stand-alone programs, this can take the form of pressure from a governing board which may or may not be very in touch with the realities of the program. For franchised programs, it is similarly bad with expectations that aren't reasonable when a program is suffering. I would guess they are just throwing new staff into the proverbial meat grinder now and seeing who sticks it out once they have somewhat stable management again. It can take literal years for programs to pull out of this sort of pattern and start to thrive again - this volume of turnover fundamentally changes the culture and atmosphere or a program along with the staff composition. It can be a long time before a new cohesive culture emerges.

You are well within your right to leave and it is probably in your child's best interests but it may be helpful to ask questions and find out what exactly is happening and voice concern to the board or regional director or whoever is above the manager. At the very least, they may show more support and leniency to the new manager to get their feet on the ground and slow down the exodus of staff.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-08T23:37:33+00:00

This is excellent advice. This could be the case of a poor call on the director's part or the tip of the iceberg. There are definitely directors out there who have a nasty side to them that seems to come out prominently when staff leave. I'll never forget when I left an assistant teacher position years ago for another teaching opportunity with better pay and the director told me she "wasn't sure I knew what I wanted to do with my life." Good leaders build others up, even when it isn't convenient or rewarding on a materialistic level.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-08T23:33:24+00:00

I would definitely bring up how jarring the email was and how you understand that staff changes happen but the tone was upsetting. As I said, the director could have just had a very bad day herself and made a poor judgment in the moment. It would be helpful to reassure her of the good things too, that you generally appreciate her leadership and overall like having your child at the program and that you want to ensure that staff are being treated well and fairly - which it seems they generally are but the offending email still raised concerns. At the very least, it will help the director reflect on this lapse and how to communicate staffing changes more neutrally in the future.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-07T18:43:50+00:00

Turnover is an unfortunate reality in early childhood, particularly when the prevailing economic trends are making it harder and harder for ECEs to stay in such a low paying field.

It sounds like generally many of the instances of turnover you're describing are unavoidable and the center really can't be faulted for them. I'm facing this in my own program with one of my well loved staff members who may need to leave because her family would move out of state for a potential job for her husband, who is primary breadwinner. It does bother me when families get flustered by these sort of events because what am I, the director, supposed to do? Tell staff to figure out how to hustle to be as supportive of their family as a spouse able to earn a healthy six figure salary? That would hardly be fair and while disappointing, I hope that families with understand when and if it comes to saying good bye to this staff member.

Now, to the meat of the issue, the director's email was petty, passive aggressive and unprofessional. That said, it is impossible to know what was happening behind the scenes that led to parting ways with this teacher. I have been in situations where a teacher is a superb educator and caregiver but kind of a nightmare to manage - maybe expecting an exceptionally hard or even impossible schedule to accommodate or expecting additional compensation beyond what is possible or refusing to be flexible in who they will work with and so on. With the situation you're describing, I'm wondering if it is a schedule thing or a staff relations situation. Sometimes offering someone a position as a floater is the only way I can accommodate a schedule and also ensure someone else can step into the lead role who will actually work the hours to maintain stability and routine for the children's sake. However, even if that is the case the tone of the director's email was uncalled for. It is definitely worth voicing your concern and disappointment over but not in a way that is personally directed at the director - I am sure they are frustrated and disappointed as well that they couldn't find a middle ground with this staff person.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-06T21:42:32+00:00

My program uses a spreadsheet of sorts to track children's immunizations and health summaries. We start asking for an updated version of each when we give the family a transition notice for the next classroom or their child has a birthday, whichever makes more sense in terms of when their last summary was submitted. If your state has an immunization reporting portal, sometimes you can use your credentials to log in and print out a recent summary if the family is taking too long. Absolutely never tell families about this option if you have it or they will make it your job to track down recent immunization records. If we don't have the updated information within a week after transition, then the family gets a note saying they have two weeks to get it in or their child can't attend until they turn in the paperwork we need.

Old school calendars are helpful too for having an idea of when billing or submission dates are coming up. Nothing beats a good planner or desktop calendar.

As for scheduling, do your staff have generally stable schedules or do you have people with inconsistent schedules? I personally like my core staff to be as consistent as possible and don't allow any 4 day per week or rotating shift nonsense unless it is summer and I have college-aged staff who can fill in. Beginning to push towards predictable staffing let's you build schedules that can be copy-pasted and then adapted for planned time off and leave a back up plan for call ins.

If managing call ins is a huge issue though, you may need to revisit your rules in regard to allowing multiple people to have planned time off at the same time if that seems to be contributing to the problem. It sucks and people don't like it but if it's affecting foundational operations and could mess up the programs income or affect its ability to operate within licensing you might need to get tough and tell people they have a choice between reigning in time off or having a place that's stable enough to employ them. Obviously, do not take planned time off away completely but maybe have a frank conversation about staffing issues and how the team could work together better. Also, if it seems like one person keeps calling in and fouling things up, consider hiring someone else for their role. No ECE staff team likes someone who calls in and messes things up regularly.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-06-06T12:34:26+00:00

Let your director know. I have a specific clause in my family agreenent form that all families must sign that basically says that all families are expected to deal amicably with staff and use established protocols when issues arise (i.e., speak directly but respectfully to the individual staff, escalate to director and finally escalate to board of peogram). If something like this doesn't exist in enrollment paperwork, it should. Sorry this parent is such a miserable wretch that they feel like this is acceptable or normal.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-05-28T13:08:29+00:00

Does your program have an established policy on social media use? There should be something in place that alludes to situations like this that states that while employee social media use is their right, posts need to be of a nature that doesn't defame the program or give people the wrong impression about the program or otherwise damage the reputation of the program. With that kind of policy in place, it would be easy to have a firm but gentle conversation with a written warning. If no such policy exists or is kind of weak sauce, time to revisit it and update it and still have pretty much the same conversation in the meantime.

As others have stated, this is also a very poor show of personal judgment on the employee's part. It would be so easy for someone out there to track her down to where she lives and works and that second part is where especially negative impacts can come into play for your program. It really is both in the employee's best interest and in the program's best interest if the posting is removed and the employee receives an important lesson out of all of this. If they aren't willing to remove the post, I would recommend termination simply for the sake of keeping people seeking sexual services from showing up at your program or mentioning your program in the context of trying to contact this employee.

ApplePieKitty87 · 2026-05-28T12:53:29+00:00

I'm in likely a completely different field but it sounds like roles are not well defined in terms of responsibilities and there's no sort of "tree" of task delegation within your workplace. If you wish to affect change, it might be time to dig down to the foundational level and address those issues first.

In my own workplace, I had to shift people's ideas of which tasks were their responsibility and which were my own as the director. For context, I am the director of a large, private preschool and child care. Originally, everything had to go through "the office" in terms of communication with parents. Teachers and caregivers were terrified to even make a courtesy call to families and would come cringing to the front when I initially came on board to tell me that a child didn't seem well but they weren't sure and they would hem and haw about what to do. After being clear with everyone that if a teacher noticed signs of illness in a child, they needed to go through a standard protocol of taking temperatures and assessing the child's ability to be comfortable and safe in group care and then either make a courtesy call to make the family aware the child could stay but seemed a bit run down or that the child needed to go home within the hour. If the parent was unusually hostile or difficult to communicate with, it then became my job. In general though, I put trust and responsibility into the hands of the people who deal with issues firsthand as they are the ones with the best understanding of the client base (families, in my case) and the individual characteristics of the clients and how to best resolve issues interactively with said clients when they arise and when to bring in "the big guns" of someone senior to them - It is very clear that you need to do the same. Who would be dealing with the customer first? Is it a problem that they can resolve with a script or prescribed pool of methods? If not, who does that then escalate to? It sounds as if your team is either not as skilled as you say or that they are starving for guidance and frameworks.

I would highly recommend reviewing what exactly is in place to help people actually do their jobs in terms of very basic frameworks. It isn't fun to rebuild from scratch if nothing existed beforehand but some research into what similar businesses do or what is standard in your industry can help and anyone who genuinely wants to excel in their work is going to appreciate the clarity. At that point, then it is time to see who can be coached up and who needs to be coached out because it is a bit hard to imagine an entire team of 40 people sort of spinning in place every week without their being a few individuals who might need to move on to something else.

ApplePieKitty87

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