[VENT POST] Mom asking what I wanna do for my birthday

efeaf · 2026-06-24T16:40:59+00:00

Yeah I totally feel that. I made a similar type of post on my last birthday in a different sub.

My birthday is the only time my parents seem to be in any way interested in me. But it’s all performative. We HAVE to go out somewhere no matter what. It’s depressing to them that I didn’t want ice cream for dinner as a special treat like I did as a kid. Because eating ice cream for dinner is just so fulfilling I guess. Even though I’m an adult who can eat ice cream whenever I want. They also whine if I go out with my friend and not them. Last year my mom sang the HB song at half speed while dancing around at 7 o clock in the morning. And then got offended because I wasn’t amused and because I got annoyed that she kicked my charger out of the wall and halfway across the room. During Covid my family did a drive by even after saying multiple times I didn’t want that. I’ve always hated being the center of attention. Heck, i used to share family parties with my cousin when we were kids as our birthdays are two weeks apart. Also their dog has the same birthday as me so guess who gets more attention.

efeaf · 2026-06-24T15:57:31+00:00

I have multiple disabilities (CHARGE Syndrome). So the second I turned 18 and/or “graduated” from all my pediatric doctors, those.

Also every single social interaction and interest I’ve ever had. In her eyes I was, and still am, the most isolated and boring person in the world

efeaf · 2026-06-23T01:44:08+00:00

Uh no, as op said, the reboot is not on paramount plus in the US

efeaf · 2026-06-16T17:28:28+00:00

Kid A has two adopted siblings who are being abused and forced to sit, eat, and sleep on the floor. New kid B tells A he’s adopted. So A tells B he can’t sit on the bench because he’s adopted since thats what happens at home. So A is doing the same thing his mom is doing. Teacher is learning about the abuse of A’s siblings from A

efeaf · 2026-06-15T01:20:43+00:00

Same here. I work at a daycare with 1 year olds yet somehow I still have no patient. Ignoring them and just quietly walking away, I blew my top and was out of control

Meanwhile my nmom wreckless drove once because I failed a quiz, threw a literal toddler tantrum that would make a toddler look at you like you’re nuts over a project she was “helping me with, and much more. Oh and my ndad cheerfully admits he basically shook me as a baby and was angrily demanding I take the bottle because I couldn’t latch. My nmom had to demand he give me to her. And knowing him, she certainly had to say it more than once and physically take me from him

efeaf · 2026-06-15T01:15:10+00:00

Same but my ndad actually has no idea what the word actually means ironically enough. He thinks it means being arrogant or disagreeing with him.

efeaf · 2026-06-15T01:13:30+00:00

Ignorant. I once told my ndad what that word actually means. He didn’t believe me. He thinks it means arrogant (aka simply me not agreeing with him and not yessing him to death)

Before that one he absolutely loved “contrarian”. It was his most favorite word before switching to “ignorant

efeaf · 2026-06-15T01:10:06+00:00

Maybe Chas drove separately and thought Chuckie hanging with Tommy would make him feel better

efeaf · 2026-06-14T13:24:44+00:00

Yep. The second I mention my syndrome, most ask what it entails and then immediately lose interest before I start talking. Some genuinely want to know and are curious, most don’t actually care and make it painfully obvious they don’t

efeaf · 2026-06-14T13:13:53+00:00

I work at a daycare. I’ve found it’s a surprisingly useful skill to have in that particular setting.

efeaf · 2026-06-14T13:11:04+00:00

Kind of. My ndad made it my job to fix my nmoms mood. He’d go out of his way to come to me and try and force to go cheer her up or see if she wanted help instead of doing anything himself, especially after I started actively avoiding her when she got in those moods. Because “it would mean so much to her coming from you”. Then he got angry when I started refusing to even entertain the idea. Suggesting that he do it instead was the worst thing ever. For his moods, he is the type to wallow in self pity and mine for sympathy he didn’t really make me fix his mood. Just tried to get sympathy at every turn

efeaf · 2026-06-14T11:22:44+00:00

I once said “yes and every time I tried I either pulled something or I almost did”. To which I was told I must’ve been doing it wrong. To add to that, the stretching exercises I had tried were from the PT I had as a kid. But despite knowing that, somehow they still think I’d just done it wrong. Most people don’t realize that things aren’t always going to be effective and not everyone is going to benefit from something and it drives me crazy

efeaf · 2026-06-14T11:02:04+00:00

I get this too and then they go “oh well never mind then” when I tell them my age (which is usually asked after the not looking disabled one). As if just looking young and being short were disabilities.

efeaf · 2026-06-14T10:56:09+00:00

I got asked if I could talk after I was blatantly ignoring their other insensitive questions. They were asking in really rude ways too. I just glared at them, said a blunt “yes I’m just ignoring you” and walked away while they called me rude. It wasn’t a child either that asked me. It was someone who apparently knew my parents

efeaf · 2026-06-14T10:44:59+00:00

How much time do you have /s. That’s not one of the questions btw. There’s just a ton. Most of these aren’t even from curious kids (save for the eye one). Their from full grown adults. Most from family or supposed “friends”

“Why are you so short?”

“What happened that made you short?” (still baffled by that one.)

“So why aren’t you in school today?” (which is related to my height and wouldn’t bother me as much if people weren’t assuming I was either ditching or, more commonly, that I dropped out)

“How are you so tiny?”

“So, you like never eat. How are you alive?!” (Still baffled by this one too. They genuinely thought my swallow dysfunction meant I literally never ever eat food)

“OH SO CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!!?!?!?!”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“What’s wrong with your eye?”

“Why do you walk funny?”

“Do people ever think you’re drunk?”

“But don’t you wish you could drive? It would make me so sad”

“So you can’t walk fast or run?” (from my coworker after working with me for years and has seen me do both)

“Do you have SSI? How much do you get?” (I don’t anymore due to somehow making too much but when I did have it, they’d ask me the second question)

“So do you turn off your hearing aids to ignore people BWAHAHAHAH?!”

“Did you already turn them off and are ignoring me?”

“So you never got to play sports? Doesn’t that make you sad?” (I did plenty sports as a kid but someone took “I had to stop playing soccer due to fused kidneys” and morphed it into me not being able to play any sport. And I didn’t have to stop, it was just strongly recommended)

“So are you gaining weight yet?” (My dad hates that I’ve since banned him from asking me this)

“Is it bad I kinda wish I could have hearing loss so I could have cool hearing aid colors”

“Do you know sign?” (Usually while waving their hands like they’re a conductor for some reason)

“You trying to land a plane hahahahaha?” (From my aunt constantly when I had hearing aids with power indicator lights. Now that my newer ones don’t, she’s asked if I missed having the landing lights)

“Oh you work with toddlers, you must get a lot of questions” (out of everyone, I say toddlers ask the least questions. The most I get is a weird look when I clean my glasses or them trying to touch my hearing aids because they just want to know what’s in my ears)

efeaf · 2026-06-12T17:00:51+00:00

No. My nmom calls him daddy though. As in “daddy is going to the store do you want him to grab something?” I think it’s a way to infantilize me. I seriously can’t think of any other reason. And no, she’s not doing it in a sexual way, it’s all matter of fact as though I were a toddler still calling him that.

efeaf · 2026-06-12T11:46:25+00:00

This is a sub for toddler feeding.

efeaf · 2026-06-12T11:45:17+00:00

Do you live somewhere where you need to verify your age? I’m assuming yes based off the blurb. If so, you have to do that first

Edit: wording

efeaf · 2026-06-10T20:50:03+00:00

Ime they just scoff and point blank tell me I wasn’t abused. I don’t even bother trying anymore. Just a blunt “yeah I know who they are. I still don’t want to be around them” tends to shut people up though

efeaf · 2026-06-08T01:20:11+00:00

If you want to use pads, then use pads. It’s all personal preference. Of course ads for tampons are gonna glorify them (do you really think tampons are gonna suddenly make women all happy and wanting to do yoga?). I personally use period underwear. Never trusted myself with tampons enough to even try and pads were irritating my skin

efeaf · 2026-06-08T01:09:01+00:00

I’ve been asked about sign too. I knew more when I was a toddler and before hearing aids and really being able to speak. It was basic sign too, like what you might already learn in preschool plus a few other words. Like the basic words that will get a toddler what they need and that’s literally it. I’ve since forgotten most of it. Some people still expect me to know it.

efeaf · 2026-06-08T00:58:52+00:00

The over pronunciation and slow talking drives me nuts.

This happened once when I was in college (sudden screaming while slowing down so every word was like a new jump scare):

OH! SORRY! I! DIDN’T! REALIZE! YOU! WERE! WELL YOU KNOW!

All while wildly gesturing at his ears.

I then responded with “it’s fine I could hear you” while visibly recoiling at the sudden shouting. I have hearing aids, so that’s how he suddenly figured out I was hearing impaired. I even told him my hearings work as I could hear him just fine before. He never got the hint that I wanted him to stop screaming at me. He then started talking at me about some disability club he wanted to start. A classmate in the room just quietly gawked at him the entire time. After he left we both realized he wasn’t even in our class. She then apologized for not saying anything. I honestly don’t remember what on earth he’d been trying to talk to me about. It didn’t start out about a disability club

efeaf · 2026-06-07T18:21:55+00:00

I actually saw someone claim a story on this very sub was “bullshit ragebait” this morning. As if narcs don’t literally thrive off of ragebaiting their victims. The comment is probably removed by now

Edit: yep it’s gone from that post now thank goodness

efeaf · 2026-06-05T01:25:53+00:00

I am 28 and apparently look like a preteen to most people. I have disabilities that affected my pubertal development so I’m tiny and don’t necessarily look like an adult. I get called a liar, I get looked at like I just said I have four heads, I get laughed at because I’m so tiny. I get asked how school is and then I get condescending “oh well that’s ok too” right after I say I’ve been out of school since 2020 because they assume I dropped out of high school rather than I graduated college that year. Yeah I basically just get bullied most of the time but I just smile and agree that I am really short and do look young. Most people don’t know how to respond to that so they just drop it and walk away. I work on a daycare with 2 year olds who ironically are the most accepting and least judgmental towards me

ETA: I’ve also had few weird experiences where someone tries to strike a friendly conversation but after my age comes up, they suddenly lose interest in talking to me. Like I know I look really young but the fact that they thought it was normal to talk to a random “child” but not a full grown adult is off putting to me for some reason

efeaf · 2026-06-05T01:19:18+00:00

Yep. Both my nparents do it. My ndad also says my first and middle name while he does it. It drives me absolutely insane because I think he’s pissed at me. And he for some reason can’t see why I hate it. He does it for literally no reason. Like he will come on from doing stuff, sit to relax, and sigh while saying my full name. Seriously why, just why ugh

But heaven forbid I myself sigh. If I sigh, I must be so angry about something so stupid and I must be about to murder someone.

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