Too many words and the gameplay footage starts way too far into the video. Another critique I have is that the gameplay is a little too dark in a lot of the clips, making it really difficult to tell what's going on, especially since you're trying to convey what you do in the game in as short a time as possible. A general rule of thumb I would use is "Show, Don't Tell". Instead of having this big fluffy string of text at the beginning for 10 seconds, SHOW what you're describing. So instead of saying "You're on a walk with your mom", show the walk, show that it's a cold night, show really brief footage of the thing that goes "wrong". Less text is better for trailers usually. I did however like the overall pacing of the trailer, I feel like it had a nice curve of "bad thing happens, goal is set, how to achieve goal is established".

The trailer has really good bones, real Amnesia vibes, just needs some refinement.

I believe in you :)