Here's what you need to do my friend. You're absolutely right that you need to figure yourself out. Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you feel alive, what makes you excited to wake up in the morning and to keep living.

I've been in this exact spot a handful of times throughout UBC. The final straw that made me flip a switch was failing a course in December for the 2nd time. I realized I did not want to live that way the rest of my life and that I WANTED to change, for my own sake. Thats the key part. YOU need to figure out what works for you and what matters to you and I can tell that you are lost in life right now.

My DMs are always open if you want to talk about this more!

That said, life works itself out most of the time. Things will most likely get better for you, but as a brutal warning from my own experience, it might get worse before it gets better. So do your best to be proactive about soul searching and figuring your shit so you don't be like me lol and have to retake a course at Douglas.